Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Considering entering a relationship with someone who has schizophrenia


#1

Hi, so I guess the title explains some of it but okay this is me basically asking for advice.
I am 17, he is 21. I have known him for two days but I seriously love him and he loves me.

Both of us suffer from mental health conditions. He has schizophrenia, BPD, and Asperger’s syndrome.

I suffer from depression and anxiety that prevents me from leaving my home. My therapist thinks I need to be tested for Asperger’s syndrome. I recently recovered from anorexia and I fear I may be on the cusp of a relapse. I also fear that I may also have BPD but my anxiety is probably just making me over think…

Anyway I sincerely love him and already the thought of being without him kind of crushes me but I am afraid that I am not well enough myself to be with him and fear we could negatively impact eachother’s mental health. I love him and want to be with him but I am afraid it would be harmful for him if I was his partner because I am not functioning myself.

Can anyone give me some advice or even just their opinions?


#2

Perhaps you have answered your own question by stating that you are worried about your own health. I would prioritize your own well-being, and slow down about a romantic relationship with this man.
This is a time in your life when you should be focusing on your future. What about college?

Don’t mean to sound like a mom, but it’s very difficult to be in a relationship with someone who has sz. I know because my ex husband is sz, and although we loved each other very much, ultimately we couldn’t make the marriage work because of his illness and mine(I have MS).


#3

I think two days to be in love with someone is a little…intense. You may have strong feelings, but they may be more sexual than emotional.

My husband has sz. He’s 23 and I’m 21. We have a child together. Believe me when I say, this is the most difficult thing I’ve ever experienced - and I have a lot of past trauma and suffer from anxiety and PPD. If you’re not in a good place yourself, I would advise you against it. If you’re feeling like you’re on a relapse back to an eating disorder, then maybe you should focus on getting yourself in the right mindset and emotional point in your life before you get romantically involved with someone who has sz. There are days when I don’t think I’ll survive, but my child is my motivation. I have an obligation and a responsibility as a parent to be there for her. I consider myself a strong person, and sometimes his illness is too much for me. My husband is not seeing a psychiatrist and he is not on medication. Schizophrenia is progressive. It requires treatment.

I’ve been with my husband for four years. We’ve been through a lot more than other people our age. For me personally, it’s worthwhile for me to stick it out with him - for now. Things may change. I can’t say. I’m currently in therapy to help me cope with everything. We’ve been together a lot longer than two days, and it takes a certain kind of person to watch a loved one go through this disease. It’s shitty, to be completely honest. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. If you question yourself - don’t do it.

There’s every reason in the world to not get involved. If you think it’s worth it, if you think you can emotionally and spiritually handle it, then go for it. But I would really sit back and evaluate yourself and the entire situation before you come to any decisions. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you make the best decision for YOU, regardless of how you feel about this guy.