I met my partner only five months ago. It took me a while to understand that he had schizophrenia. Too long. I set two goals once I did understand, to try to ease his distress, and to end his isolation and loneliness. I also understood that he had to acknowledge his condition and accept treatment if he was ever to have a shot at a real life. He left yesterday and is in a facility now, but the journey has been very hard. I have ptsd symptoms and my emotional stability and mental health both took a hit. I would do it all again in a second. How long he will be gone, or if he will succeed I don’t know.
Hello, Now is the time to care for yourself with the same dedication and love
I am still in shock. I’m sixty six and was not prepared for this! I meant it when I said I would do it all again though. Life is so strange, you think nothing can surprise you, maybe getting a bit bored, then BOOM. I think of my friend as an unexpected gift from God, and we both know we were brought together for a reason. I want him back, and I want him to have a fair shot at life.
You can have him back. Have you visited him? Can you? Also I think that if you worked out his illness within 5 months that’s pretty amazing, not long at all. It’s not something you can recognize if you’ve not seen it before and even if you have everyone is different. Look after yourself. Take some time to think what a relationship might mean. Positives as well!!
It did take me too long, probably close to a month. I had seen this condition before, but was too distracted by the emotion I was feeling to comprehend. I haven’t visited him, he is in a different town, his home town. I coordinated with his family after I decided to try to get him to accept treatment. His mother arranged the treatment, she tried to get him to do it three years ago when she first realized his condition. Instead he refused treatment, moved here to the city, and has been in denial. I did it behind his back, which hurt, but I was desperate. I do want him back, whole and happy if possible, but I’ll take him anyway I can get him. We have a bond that will always be there.
You did what you thought was right and to help someone you care about. If you’re in contact with his family maybe they can make contact?
Yes I am in contact with a brother and his mother. I don’t want to bother his ma for a while as she has been through a lot, and that is putting it mildly. The brother (twin) also has this condition. Think about that. My heart breaks for the mother. Now both the brothers are dealing with it. My partner now, the brother in the recent past. My partner also has addictions, booze and speed, the brothers was/is crack. I know addictions never really go away, it all depends on how strong the individual is. My partner wants me, wants to come back when he is ready. I put my faith in God and hope for the best. I can’t imagine going forward without him at my side, but will take it a day at a time.
A month is by no means too long. It took me 4 years, and we had lived together most of the time. Don’t beat yourself up for not realizing it. It took him completely losing it and damn near making our children orphans before I realized. And it’s not easy. In my case, my boyfriend has been in denial most of his life. It started affecting him when he was 9 years old, but he never got the help that he needed. He was wonderful, on a big upper, for the first 4 years of our relationship. Then it all changed one day, and for a full year he was awful, controlling, and insecure. He’s better now that he’s been diagnosed and has been on meds, but 2 years later and I still don’t have my whole, happy, fun loving man back. He hasn’t been the same since.