Crazy comforting thought


#1

I have a fantasy about an island or a place where our loved ones who are ill and all of the caregivers can live together, helping each other as we help our ill family members.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, imagine any one of you helping my son and me helping your loved ones. Sometimes they listen better to strangers, and they would never ever feel alone or abandoned.

They would also be in a world without stigma & judgment because there will be many others just like them. And we, as caregivers, would have an unlimited amount of emotional & mental support.

Also a place with NO HIPPA laws, doctors readily available for a crisis situation, and people who are trained and willing to jump in to help our loved ones.

All of us contribute the same amount each month to cover expenses for food, shelter, clothing etc.

Right medicine and tons and tons of love from ALL of us, our loved ones drowning in so much love and care…

I know this is just a fantasy, because I do daydream about a better world for our afflicted loved ones, but imagine if there was such a place! If only…


#2

@mbheart So beautiful!!! It’s so heartwarming to know there’s still humanity in this world and kind people like you :heart_decoration:

And if only my loved ones knew how much I care about them and wish for them to be healthy and happy, and how many times I cried feeling helpless but tried my best to help… I wish they knew all of that instead of them not believing and rejecting my love because I chose to get married and work far away where I found joy… but my love for them brings me back to them and I visit regularly… :pensive:


#3

So comforting is this thought.


#4

I have the same dream. I would move there immediately. It would be wonderful to share support with others who understand. I think everyone involved would benefit exponentially. Trying to do it all alone is so very very hard.


#5

@oldladyblue, even though my son has no friends and it’s difficult for him to make friends, imagine a sense of belonging he would feel from being surrounded by others just like him. It has to be so comforting for him.

He isolates himself quite a bit now, and that breaks my heart. As of now, not even a glimpse of him leading a somewhat “normal” life. So tragic for our loved ones, and as a mother it’s unbearable. We all want the best for our children.

And of course the mutual support and understanding we would receive among us as caregivers. How I wish there was such a place!

Hugs to everyone :two_hearts:


#6

Oh no, I’m positive there will be no normal life for my daughter anymore. But there is comfort in support and in an environment like you envisioned, there would be comfort available at times when it was most needed.

Hugs.


#7

I too have had that dream! On HGTV there is a show called “Island Living” (I think that’s the name). You can buy an island for 1 or 2 million (some are much more, but they are bigger than what we would need). I’ve always wished I could be rich and have a place for children like ours, but I never thought about parents being a part of it. There are many of us that are doctors, nurses, teachers, nutritionists, and every other occupation that give so much of our lives to our children that would jump at this chance. There might be a way to have insurance when parents die their children can live on the island. Oh my, my imagination is being wonderfully carried away that I don’t want to face all the problems. So I’ll stop. It is nice to dream.


#8

That’s a beautiful idea. I wish there places we could all live that had housing for our family members when they are really symptomatic and then step down, supportive housing, all the way to where we as families live together near the places that support and treat our family members. And when we have to go to work or whatever we do, our family members are safe and supported in a community of people who could do so much if given the time, space, treatment, and chances.


#9

Visualization is the first step to any fantasy. :slight_smile: I say keep fantazing, love it.
So true about the HIPPA laws, that certainly needs to be evaluated and all of us are working toward the person in need as the #1 priority.
Common Sense 101. If a person is mentally ill and or Anosognosia, they are never going to ask for help on their own as they don’t believe they are sick, thus leaves family/caretakers to step in and do what is best for their loved ones, but without the consent of the person with the mental health issue our hands are tied and then the state gets to decide instead of those looking out for their loved ones; usually nothing happens as they cannot be forced to do anything if they are adults and not a threat to themselves or others. A lot of times these people end up in our jails and the worst possible place for them.


#10

I just get enraged and find it extremely ironic at the whole idea of the “mentally ill” (they were deemed mentally ill by the doctors and professionals in high places) being given any type of decision making abilities, and the ones who truly are capable of making sound decisions for their beloved ill family members are stripped of all rights and any type of leverage and are often viewed as infringing on the privacy of the patient. I mean, how twisted is this concept?

Once they are deemed “mentally ill” by doctors, shouldn’t that in itself be self-explanatory? Not of sound mind? But it appears they have more rights than the caregivers and can decide their own fate, like refusing to take meds.

Absolutely ludicrous


#11

Yes, the system as it exists is ludicrous.

The island life sounds like such a good dream, and real things DO come to pass because someone dreamed them up first. My own dream was simply to find a caregiver in the area who wanted to set up an apartment for our kids together. Another mother with a daughter who would get along with a roommate. It would cut costs and improve care while giving the children a place without being forced to live with delusional relatives (because my husband and I are “evil” to my daughter). It isn’t real, but it is a dream.

I shake my head at myself because I knew/know about advance directives and should have insisted that everyone I know set them up. I haven’t even set them up for myself, but I should. For myself, my family and my friends. Most people don’t even consider incapacitation by physical or mental illness a possibility let alone put directives in place to ensure care should our own marbles go rolling away into the sunset.


#12

Agree 100%. Been fighting this for over 6 yrs now. Seems totally crazy and illogical, not sure what happened to common sense in our world. Now my loved one is getting sicker by the day cuz I cannot do anything about it but yet if he commits a crime, they will be there in 2 sec. to pick him up. Very backwards to say the least. His therapist and myself are doing whatever we can to help him but he is Anosognosia and we are helpless. VERY frustrating and maddening. New laws need to be in place to protect our loved ones.


#13

I used to fantasize about opening up a mental health and addiction facility, that would accept everyone, regardless if they can afford it. It would be staffed by the best experts in Sz. It would have an unlimited number of beds. It would have its own ER for m.i. crisis care ( instead of having to wait in the regular ER for hours. Don’t the hospitals realize how difficult it is to get a Sz patient to sit and wait to be seen?)

It’s not as fabulous as a private island (sigh, that would be nice!) but this thought used to bring me comfort when I was struggling to find care for my Sz loved one.