Daughter has beautiful baby boy and I’m afraid of the father

Hi, my daughter was diagnosed in 2018 and is now 26 and had a baby. The father of the baby expects me to financially take care of the three of them. He claims that he cannot work because he needs to heal his trauma. My daughter says the exact same thing about herself and that has been established as being true. I feel that the father is manipulating her by ignoring her psychotic rituals therefore she feels accepted. My daughter over protects him constantly and he enjoys it at my expense. I’m torn because she will follow him anywhere therefore not having a stable environment for my grandson. They have moved in and out of my house 4 times. I feel that I should not have to financially take care of the father. He claims that he is mentally ill in order to have common ground with my daughter. He can be violent and I do not trust him. I feel that he will harm his son eventually out of frustration with himself and when my daughter has a jealous episode.


Yikes. Just yikes. Is son in law actually diagnosed? Or just riding along with your daughter’s diagnosis?

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This does seem like a tough one. Someone has to work to support their family. Would group counseling be in order? I.e. the three of you plus a family counselor who could help bring a “big picture” view of the problem to everyone’s attention.

If you run out of money, which is not uncommon for retirees, then you will be the one needing to be supported, and they won’t want that.

The family counselor would hopefully bring some rationality to the situation and help your daughter and son-in-law see what lies down the road if they don’t start getting some vocational guidance. When you run out of money everyone will be impoverished.