Hi! I’ve been a part of this forum for a long time, but I haven’t said anything. I feel lost and alone and I need support from someone who understands.
My husband has been diagnosed with Schizophrenia since he was a teenager. He’s 39-years-old now. When I met him, he was managing his Schizophrenia on his own with no medications and was doing very well. He would have bad days, but overall he was successful. He had a fantastic career and an active social life. He had recovered from an episode six years earlier, which ended with him leaving a very controlling wife, who uses their child to punish and control him. When I met him, his child was very angry at everyone and was sceptical of myself and my children. My husbands illness had caused his ex-wife to turn his own parents and sister against him. However, his parents weren’t angry. They just didn’t want to have to choose between the ex-in-law and him, which makes no sense to me. The obvious choice would be my own child.
Since we got married, my husband has been trying to mask his symptoms and hid from me the fact that he was getting ill again. He has constant thoughts of suicide and cries all day. Finally, two weeks ago, I took him to the crisis centre and he was admitted. We are currently selling our home and downsizing everything, so that I can support the family on my income alone. We have three children between us, so this is a task! The stress of selling our home in a poor market and trying to pay bills is very hard. My husband asked that his ex put his child support payments on hold for the time being until he returns to work. We care for the child 40% of the time anyway and that was to continue. He was required to pay $600/month with no salary.
His ex wife believed that it was my responsability to take over the payments and care of the child while my husband is sick. I got legal advise and found out that this is not the case. I have applied for a recalculation on the payments and she will receive nothing until that is done. He isnt making any money so it will likely remain at zero. He has exhausted his employment insurance and doesn’t qualify for disability, because of my income. The system is not ideal. I have always said that his son can be in our home. I have no problem with that. I only stated that there was no point for him to stay with me while his dad is in hospital. I am trying to sell the house and do a million things to hold us together. His son can visit him in hospital or for the days that he has day passes.
Well, his ex is so angry about the loss of money and child care that she has phoned his whole family in a rage and spouted lies about me. She also has told his son that it is me that is withholding visitation from him! His parents are staying neutral and trying to be friendly with everyone, however, I am very afraid that his son believes his mom (he’s 12) and this will cause even more stress for my husband. Also, his sister has sided with his ex. The whole family is fragmented now, because of this woman.
I just feel like everyone is turning on me. I’m only trying to make things so that our family will survive and protect my husband.