Dealing with guilt and anger


#41

My son has returned! He came back yesterday. He did manage to make it to Japan but did not get to the suicide forest. On Thursday, I received a call from the US Embassy in Tokyo. He was there and stating he had no money and was ready to come home. With the help of the embassy and $1500 for another return ticket we did manage to get him back. He had spent a week in Japan learning a really big lesson. My son is bi-racial. He lived on the streets, slept on the ground and was called the “N” word repeatedly. Apparently quite a high percentage of people in Japan are quite racially intolerant. He did find a few really nice people who helped him survive long enough to make it to the embassy. I think he made some discoveries about the fact that while our culture is very imperfect (and his life is not what he might want it to be), it is not necessarily the worst possible situation for him to be in. He did lose 10 pounds in 7 days and came back very sunburned, but at least the story ended well. I appreciate the support and advise you have all given!


#42

Thank goodness!! I am so glad to hear this (not what he went through but that he is home safe).
What would we do without the nice people? Pay it forward :slight_smile:

In all honesty, you have to give him credit for going through such a stressful ordeal.
Thanks for the update. Glad he is home


#43

Yes this is very true. Listening to his story and how it all went down, I do not think I would have done as well. I felt the panic rise in me when just HEARING about it. Personally, I might have just given up and had a melt down facing the challenges he faced. So, I do know now that while he does not do things MY way…or even the way the MAJORITY of people would…he is NOT HELPLESS. That was a good lesson for me as well I think. Just a lesson I would have preferred to learn with him here is the US! LOL!
There was one particularly poignant lesson he learned that I wanted to share. He said that while he was there, living as a homeless person without any means for just that short period, he saw a few people who were, obviously, mentally ill. They were sitting alone in various places and talking to themselves. He said that the general population just ignored them and would refuse to look at them. When people would catch his eye they would look at those people and then look at him with an expression of annoyance and disgust, shaking their heads. He was broken-hearted about this and said that he would purposely go to those people and sit next to them for a while because “No body else would and he wanted them to know they were not alone, at least for a little while”. He said “I would never, ever treat anyone that way”. At least I know that he genuinely cares about other people, even if that is sometimes not visible or apparent.


#44

Our family members can be so sensitive to the needs of other with mental illness even when they can’t see their own illnesses.

So glad your son is home safe!


#45

I feel your relief that your son is home safe. What a terrible helpless feeling you must have had while he was gone. It sounds like the whole experience was one big life lesson for him, in a way. My sz son also has huge compassion for others who are suffering. I’m glad he is home and that none of his adventures were bad ones.


#46

I am so glad your son is back to the US safely and that his generosity of spirit and compassion for people is so strong and intact.

Thank you for letting us know all of this.


#47

@tampalizard So glad your son is home. What a journey. I agree with a previous comment…take his passport (“for safekeeping”, if need be). We did that in our situation, just in case…


#48

Another hallelujah! Thanks for the great news!