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Denial-lack of insight etc


#1

My son as I have said before has been diagnosed with delusional disorder, well the letter from the hospital says this.
He has been on paliperidone depot now for 5 months, 150mg each month.

His anger, frustration etc have lessened, he is closer to us and doesnt seem to “blame” us much anymore, but he still does not accept he is ill.
He will say stuff like its all a fake, all a lie, they aren’t even doctors, he hasnt been injected with anything YET etc etc. Its so frustrating. He has no motivation.
He went to college then university and has a degree, he graduated in 2014, well he didnt actually go to the graduation as he just didnt want to.

Anyway he struggles every day, he wont go out much, unless we are with him, he wont go back to the gym, he says “he has worked in the past” and has tried to get work, (yes over a year ago) Its like he has given up. Sometimes he is content to do nothing, I mean nothing and I feel he will expect his dad and I to look after him all his life (he is 25)

Its a struggle and its tiring living this life day in day out. I know I should be happy he is stable , I am really but its hard work trying to motivate him, or suggest something to do etc etc,
Right now he wont get a haircut, I know its not a big thing in the scheme of things, but it adds to the list of things he can’t be bothered to do. It has a knock on effect on hubby and me, we are tired short tempered with each other. I see my husband change and get less and less patient with everyone and everything.

Anyway sorry to go on and on, I wish you all a happy peaceful healthy christmas x


#2

Sorry to hear of your struggles. My 24 year old son has sz and he has no motivation at all. It’s very sad because he’s talented and smart but he just can’t get himself to do anything. He’s also very socially shy/awkward. These are two very prominent negative symptoms. He will go places with me but otherwise doing nothing is fine. Except pacing and thinking. But his psychosis is gone, thank god! It’s so hard. I just keep waiting for new drugs to come out that help these symptoms. It’s awful and sad. Hang in there!


#3

I hear your frustration with the lack of motivation and insight. I have had the same problems at the same age with my son. He is 32 now and things are much better than they were at 25. It is difficult to adjust to the snail’s pace progress occurs but it will occur. I have found (in my experience) that 5 months of effective medication is just a start. It takes the person with sz sometimes as long as a year to grow accustom to all of the changes his brain is experiencing. Often doing nothing is all they can handle for a good long while. What I did was I recommended something for my son to accomplish each day, in the beginning it might be a shower, or brush his teeth, or change his clothes. He usually would refuse but I kept at it gently and injected humor where ever I could. Sometimes I would just walk by him and hold my nose and eventually he’d ask me why and I’d say I smell a bad odor everytime I walk over here. Often I’d hear him in the shower after that. Over time I change and advance my suggestions. My point is as hard as it is try not to give up or lose patience and if you do get short on patience go take time for yourself to recharge. I stuck with all of it and never stopped “suggesting” activities, attempting to redirect my son or inviting him to do things with me, and now he does much better and will sometimes venture to do minor things on his own now like go to the store, the gym or the coffee shop by himself. More importantly we get along far more than we don’t. The suggestions and redirections have just been engrained in me now it is pretty much the fuel that keeps my son going…It doesn’t feel like as much of a big deal now. I still hope to see my son attempt to do more with each passing year but I just approach it more like a life long labor of love and now that he does well even when alone, I spend more time these days working on myself and things that matter to me personally aside from my son and life feels better as I live it. It’s not perfect or fast, but it is progress. Everyone has a different situation and I just share mine and hope it helps even just a little.


#4

Thank you Catherine for the reminder to take things slow, but never give up.


#5

You guys are amazing. This helps me so much, I hope in time I can offer the same encouragement to others who are new. Good wishes to all of you and your families.


#6

I love Catherine’s positive feedback.

If your son is not able to work for a time have you thought of applying for Social Security Disability to help your son with meeting his expenses. If he has a caseworker talk her or him on how to do it. At about 21 years old we applied and were rejected twice but then her caseworker got involved and was able to help us fill out the proper paperwork.

In the event your son is never able to be fully employed he would at least have some money coming in through SS. At a later time he may be able to work part time.


#7

Hi molly , my son receives employment support allowance. It’s not a huge amount but he doesn’t spend much. His EIP (early intervention in psychosis) nurse is very helpful. I’m not sure how long this benefit will continue for. He is not able right now for sure to work. Thank you.


#8

Hi ,I know How hard this is for you,my nephew has been like this for a long time he has always been a quiet child not a great mixer ,never got excited about things like xmas ,birthdays etc,then when he was 14 his grandmother died in front of him and it seems to have triggered an illness which has been going on for 10 years ,his parents have gone to several doctors over the years ,kept diagnosing ,chronic depression,I have said all along this is more than depression ,he’s just finished open uni which he studied phychology of all things for 2 years at which he failed,he blame everyone for the way he is ,saying he can cure cancer ,brain tumours etc and he taught the lecturers everything they know ,he has packed in good jobs believing they were all conspiring against him and blames all his old mates for the way he is ,he is really horrible to his parents ,believes the CIA , m15 government and drug Barron’s are after him ,it’s so sad to see him in this turmoil ,he sits in his bedroom playing on game or telling anyone on social media how he can cure things ,he saw a phychiatrist about 2 years ago and they came up with depression with paranoid episodes ,he has now been back after all this time to see a phychatrist because his parents kept pursuing his illness and it may be bi polar ,delusional disorder ,give him meds and he got to go back in 3 months ,I think the metal health in wales is diabolical