Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

My son and his pyschosis


#1

Hi There,
Im quite new to all this and have been reading this forum for a few days and totally can identify with a lot of you lovely people.

My son almost 25, has no formal diagnosis. It does say on a letter he received as "delusional disorder"
He has been having the depot paliperidone for almost 5 months now.
He left hospital in August after a 5 month stay.
He doesnt have much insight. The depot has calmed him and he is no longer angry and blaming us but he still has paranoia.

He has smashed phones in the past believing they were being tracked, he has broken laptops with the same fears. Something he says over and over and has said this for years is that “his soul was taken away from him” Has anyone heard anything similar from their relatives? I haven’t really been able to get clarification from him, thats all he says, it was taken away from him at 11 or 12. I ask did anything happen to him around then, he says just his soul was taken from him.
He has a university degree, he has had various part time jobs but left the last one after accusing people of psychic bullying him ? he went to another job and then left saying the people there, knew him from the last place, which of course they didnt.

He opened many bank accounts all empty as he felt he was being tracked.
He thinks the police are going to kindap him and take him to another country to be “trafficked” thats one delusion that has remained for months now.

He has compassion now, he is closer to me and hubby, a few years back before he was hospitalised and had meds, he was quite angry, accused me and hubby of taking drugs (never ) and a few times said we put them in his food etc.

Life is tough, its not as tough as it was before he had meds though.
We take a day at a time. I sometimes get so low that I used to think that it will only be over for me when I die, I currently take anti depressants in a low dose and they help me stay level.

He used words like satan and said people were satanist, and the doctors were fake, not real doctors etc. Sometimes all this proves to me he is ill and other times I think no, he can’t be , its my son. His phone is only a few months old, its broken and needs a new battery but he wont allow it to be sent away incase they steal info on it and steal his money he says.

He has no friends, no partner and doesnt go out that much now.
We do have family support in the form of his CPN, family therapy which he wont take part it though.
Anyway sorry for the long post. Its reassuring to know we are not alone.
I miss and grieve for the life he could have at times. though.


#2

Welcome, never too long a post…post away. So sorry for all you and your family have been through. All I can say at the moment is that I understand. (hugs)


#3

Thank you for posting. It’s good to read your story.

It sounds like you are all doing your best.


#4

Jane57, welcome and thank you for sharing your story. Is he living independently? The most my son has stayed in the hospital is 3 months and he did not gain insight. He’s blessed to have you as his folks. Take care of yourself also and cherish each other. It definitely takes its toll.


#5

Hi Jane, It’s good to read your story - there is a common thread almost all of us can relate to.


#6

Thanks everyone, it’s good to know we are not alone , not good that it’s so common this though.Mom2 no he lives with us. He was hospitalised for 3 weeks in 2015 and had no medication and didn’t comply with aftercare things got so bad at home we had to make him move out and live in a flat. He wouldn’t tell us where but we did find out . He wouldn’t disclose his phone number to us. We kept saying he could come back home when he agreed to getting help but nope he said stuff like "I will never take meds I,ll never let “them” win etc.
He got so paranoid in the flat he did spend much time there then I initiated a mental health assessment in march 2016 and he still wouldn’t work with services so he was then hospitalised then for 5 months , he did absconded from there a couple of times. They kept saying he had no insight.
Thanks all . I,m sure I will find my way around the forum and read other people’s stories.


#7

If our mi loved ones weren’t so paranoid, accusatory, isolating and at times very hostile we could help them but then that’s the whole point. Schizophrenia is a terrible disease and supporting research is something we can all do that is positive.


#8

Ive just read your posts Molly, you are really amazing.
Thanks for your input too.


#9

All our stories are so sad. My 32 yr old son has sz, my story is different in that from 14 yrs old, he wanted nothing to do with us, myself, stepfather and half-brother. He went to live with grandparents. He’s always treated me very bad. Over years, he’s had drug problems, alcohol problems, been in prison, in and out of jail. At 30, diagnosed with sz. He still hates me, but demands money. I am devastated with everything. Need advice.


#10

Dear Dreamer1, Here is my only advice. In quiet, private moments, rest in the grace of your unconditional love for your son.

Maybe(?) do not give him money due to possibility of alcohol or drug use, but do send love, even if you are in no position to tell him you love him or cannot talk to him at all and maybe rarely or never see him because of problems.

Feel love and let your heart open like a flower in a very safe and protected place

Love is real

I’m sorry for what you are going through


#11

Thank you for your kind words. I know in my heart everything I’ve done for him but he’s never happy. This was before diagnosis and after diagnosis. Maybe one day he’ll realize it.


#12

A friend of my school days was almost dux of the school and a very good artist painter and sculpture
But started abusing caffeine and later went onto marijhuana and finally ice getting psychotic. He would rave on about satan and god the father.
I recently went to visit him as I heard he was really in trouble as an ice addict and everyone was afraid of him. He left me in the middle of a highway getting out of the car to ask a stranger directions he didnt trust from me. Typically he imagined god was controlling him but later would say I am god the father but the satan rantings were very aggressive . My belief is the brain gets damaged and accesses religiosity from previous centuries
Deep within brain memory. Otherwise why are the satan and god rantings all similar for people all over the world