Hi, I’m new here. My partner is schizophrenic. It’s consumed almost all aspects of my life, along with completely razing his. What I really want to wrap my head around is later onset of the condition. My partner didn’t develop it until his mid 30s which isn’t common and this is the cornerstone of his persistent, abject denial of being schizophrenic (yet at the same time he knows he is). He refuses to accept that he could just suddenly develop schizophrenia at 35, seemingly out of the blue. But that is exactly what happened and as he’s described it when in an infrequent remission and thinking clearly. I know developing it in your mid to late 30s isn’t very common, but that doesn’t make it impossible, but he refuses to accept that. Has anyone else been close with someone who was a late developer and has anything to share about your experience? Stories, pitfalls, success…anything. Or, even if it’s you who got a diagnosis in your mid to late 30s and are willing to share anything from your perspective, no matter how big or small, I would love to hear about it. If anything, just to hear from someone who can relate. But hopefully to learn some coping skills, setting boundaries and not being a door mat, and perhaps any tips on how to keep him on his meds. He responds remarkably well to Abilify, it’s like night and day, or flipping an on/off switch when on meds vs. off. I just can’t keep him on them for more than 2 months at a time before he stops taking them and relapses. And I have to move heaven and earth over 6 to 8 months of schizophrenia to corner him into taking them again. Then wash, rinse, repeat. Sorry I’m just rambling now, I’ll stop,
My husband was also diagnosed with schizophrenia at a late age (35-36) and its been up and down, when we first got the news we went through a lot of trials and tribulations going through different medications until we thought we found the right one, he stuck with it for a bit but was having side effects that he didn’t like, then he went off of them and was only given antidepressant/antianxiety meds, which only helped with the depression and anxiety not the paranoia. It was sort of under control besides the paranoia of being watched or that people have it out for him and only lately it got severe to the point of me having to be living out of a suitcase for a bit, the target of his paranoia turned towards me (accusations of me trying to poison/harm him and the pets, the list goes on) and only now i am working really hard at learning as much as i can about the illness and its been an eye opener. So my advice would be is to learn as much as you can about it, surround yourself with a good support system which should include his family and just be prepared for anything. I found myself to be completely confused by believing in what he was saying because it can sound convincing sometimes, especially when the half truth blurs to the lines of the absurd. Biggest thing is educating yourself so you can have the tools to try to get the correct help for both of you.
I hope this helps a bit
Thank you for sharing. The paranoia always turns against me too. That’s the worst part for me, it’s hard being both his best friend and worst enemy at the same time. Sometimes there are only minutes between mood swings and when he swings into his irritable/angry/paranoid mood I become just another person “in on it” and I’m paid to be here as part of the plot. And because I’m “in on it” I know what is going but won’t tell him, which of course makes him angry and that starts a manic rage spiral that is self-perpetuating and last all night (even days). I know it’s going to be a rough night full of non-stop verbal abuse, or worse, that hopefully ends without the police being called and him taken to an involuntary 3 days at the psych hospital.
I love him with all my heart, but I want to leave him, but I can’t because he has nothing, no one and nowhere to go if I made him leave (I’m the homeowner). He would be on the street or in a shelter (if he were so lucky). Plus, he refuses to leave, and it would take a police “event” to force him out. No one in his family will see him or help him anymore, he has alienated all of his friends with his anger, paranoia and delusional accusations. All that is left is me. Like playing musical chairs and being the last person. Everyone else got to grab their metaphorical chairs and step away, leaving me on my own, without a chair.
Apologies for the long and rambling reply, sometimes it just flows out when I start typing and thinking.
So sorry you and your partner are going through this, @michaelsan9. Is he open to an injectable antipsychotic med?
Sometimes he is open to it, but is usually only when he is being manipulative and telling me what I want to hear. However, that is my dream scenario to get him on injectable Abilify and into a routine of getting it every X number of weeks. I don’t know what I would do not always catering to his condition and not always being on alert. I would settle for just not being told I should “kill myself” on a regular basis when he is being viscous (don’t worry, I’m not at risk for that).