That is both true and not true (that it destroys brain matter). The fact is that depending on what we do, we can also develop new brain matter. To do that, people with schizophrenia need the same things as everybody else: an excellent diet, regular and sufficient sleep, regular aerobic exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc (and possibly some anaerobic exercise such as weight training), human company and conversation, and to learn something. These things are not easy to do in fact when you have schizophrenia, but as you go on, they get easier. Of course, all of them are much easier when you are on the right meds. But at every stage we can support our loved ones by providing an environment in which they can do these things easily. I found that doing all these things with my son without commenting or pointing out that it was supposed to “make him better” worked best. Nobody wants to be told “Eat this. It’s good for your schizophrenia. Go and work out. It’s good for your schizophrenia. Read a book. It’s good for your schizophrenia.” And so on. We just have to get in the habit of cooking and eating good and nutritious food together, going for walks together, chatting together a couple of times a day, etc. It builds up. Earlier in the thread I mentioned that my son had been sectioned. A year later (now), he is doing very well at everything, looking after himself, studying, looking for a job, starting to make contact with friends again, already close to family members, and so on. It’s not all doom and gloom.
In fact, I have just moved back to the UK from Turkey. I left because of the trouble there after the coup. My son then went over, packed up my things and brought them back for me, got all my money, changed it and brought it back, and dealt with my landlady, my friends, etc. I was too scared to go back!
So, he’s more capable than the average guy nowadays. More capable than me! It can be done.
“So when your loved one curses you out over the phone, or acts belligerently, or misbehaves the way a 2-year-old would, don’t take it personally. If you do, your heart will turn dark. Then you will stop caring about them. And then, ultimately, they will have nowhere to go, and no one to have care about them. How would that make the average person feel? It is magnified by orders of 100 if the person has schizophrenia”
There is a lot of wisdom in your closing words. Thank you.
I know this thread started a year ago, but it is a question that never goes away. As a mom of an adult son with SZ I have been spending some time lately reassuring my child he is not a failure or faulty in some way. As a mom however, I do ask myself what went wrong, but probably from a perspective different than yours. When a child is small and he brings ouchies to mom we fix them. We become confident we can make our child happy and whole. Then SZ hits and we wonder what we missed. Was there something we should have seen? Some warning sign if not missed could have lessened the pain our child is going through? Intellectually we know this is not the truth, but emotionally never let go of the idea 'if only…" My son is a kind hearted talented builder. Definitely not a “defect”. But his illness makes life hard. Family members who love you see the person you are on the inside, not the strange behavior. The rest of the world may sit in judgement. Let them. I know that is hard to do, but those that judge others harshly will someday experience the same. you may not see it, but no one gets through this life without some trial or another.
My son and I were helping a scout do his project and I was working with a 13 young man whom I had just met. I told him my son had a brain disease and that he might say some pretty bizarre things. He sighed and said “oh well, everybody’s perfect.” It was such a refreshing sentiment and it made my evening.
Mom 2. I have been there. What I have to remmember is pic my battle. I can never reason with my daughter, if she sets her mind. But I’m learning that there is trmendous fear…when she is unwilling to go to an activity or social outing. I negotiate on lots of things, and we both win. Praying for you.
By the standards of healthy society, I am a big Failure .
I can’t work, can’t do household chores, can’t drive.
However this is down to my schizophrenia.
I most care about what my parents think of it.
My parents acknowledge I have schizophrenia and are accepting towards me.
That’s the most important thing.
My problems are mostly due to schizophrenia.
