The doctor asked me when this all started for my son. When I described his break (tv talking to him, people following him) that happened a few years ago. He said that it didn’t happen. He remembers certain aspects like a book on a table that he had an issue with. I’m just wondering if your loved one denies the things that happened. Perhaps when he hears what I say he doesn’t want to admit that it happened because it was not “normal” behavior?
My family member forgets some things and remembers others that happened during severe psychosis.
I have heard elsewhere that a psychotic episode is kind of a waking dream/ nightmare, so it makes sense that only flashes and parts would be recalled. And all providers say that people who have psychosis don’t remember lots of it.
My son would never admit to the TV “talking” to him. His therapist told me and my wife had suspected it. He is 28 and med compliant on 4.5 mg. of Invega. His long term memory is affected by his SZ more than the meds. The side affects seem to be weight gain and fatigue which go hand in hand.
Not remembering or wanting to talk about the breaks for my son is a part of wanting to start a new life on medication. Also to protect the family and himself from very, very bad memories. Delusions are forgettable now that he is medicated. I have all the empathy in the world for those struggling here. My heart goes out to all.
I guess I actually described it as my son had told it. That the neighbors had hacked into the tv and we’re telling him they were going to hurt him. And that he had baseball bats at all the doors because people were trying to get him. He doesn’t remember the tv incident and said he was swinging the bats while he was watching sports. I just guessed his brain was pretty fried st the time or perhaps it’s like drinking and blacking out.
The homeopathic doctor I have been speaking to in India told me that if/when my daughter gets well, she won’t remember the psychosis. She said that my daughter will one day feel that the world has changed, that the problems she was delusional about have somehow been solved in the world at large. She doesn’t think she is ill, so she won’t recognize that she got better…
I remember them. It isn’t a good feeling, either. Some of us don’t and to be honest there are sometimes things I have said or done that I don’t remember. Think of it the same way of working as an alcohol blackout. You keep functioning but have no clue what you are doing.
My son doesn’t seem to remember exactly what he himself did, but he can tell you a little bit about some of the patients who were in the hospital behavioral health unit AKA the psych ward. But he never really talks about anything that gives me any understanding of what he goes through. His delusions go away for the most part, after stabilized again. I wish he would tell me more maybe he just can’t who knows!
I remember all of mine. It’s like a form of PTSD thinking about it, but yes, I do remember the details. I imagine everyone’s different though, some may not remember it. My pdoc has told me I have good insight into my sza, so that may be why I remember.
Did you have insight from the beginning or did it come with time? Thanks
My son’s second episode of psychosis involved hallucinations and delusions, and hitting and injuring me with a kitchen knife. After a year in jail and a year in a psych hospital, he remembers all of it; it’s part of his treatment to have to look hard at the timeline of his illness. He has had to listen to my taped statement to the police given in the ER, and look at the police pictures of my wounds. Oh yes, he remembers it all. “I thought the world was gonna end” is how he verbalizes it to me. He is very grateful that I love and forgive him. He also has good insight into his illness so I agree, maybe that’s why he remembers and can deal with it.
His first episode involved delusions of spreading love to the world- no violence. He also remembers it but doesn’t talk about it.
The insight has come more with time, but I can still remember the details of my first psychotic break.
I would say my insight developed out of sheer necessity - back before I got put on disability and was still trying to work, my previous pdoc had me on an insufficient dose of Haldol. I was hallucinating both visually and auditory at work every day, plus had extreme paranoia about people staring and laughing at me. The only way I could survive was to stop and ask myself if what was happening was real or my disease. Doesn’t always work, but sometimes it does. It’s much easier to have someone else talk me down.
I just know my pdoc told me recently that I have good insight.
Great, thank you. I’m hearing from more folks on the Family forum who have a diagnosis and think the input in super invaluable. Thanks again…
You’re welcome. I wondered whether it would be okay to post here or not, but I’ve seen a few other people from my side of the forum who posted here. I can’t keep up with the really long threads, as I am cognitively impaired and can’t focus long enough to read them. But I can try to pop in and help sometimes.
Yes - thank you. It helps very much to hear from you!
Please tell me more
We are just starting our journey in this with our son. He was transferred yesterday to a short term facility 20 minutes away from us.
While right now I just want him stable I do eventually want to look into a more holistic/as natural as possible way of dealing with this for him and for us.
I read this page and was surprised at the amount of data on the site. So far I am happy with the contact I have had with this company (which is in India and ships worldwide). I have not received the remedies yet, so can’t attest to how they work for my daughter yet.
I am sorry that you found yourself on this path (trying to help a family member with schz) it is a long, difficult, tiring journey. Try to relax while he is in the facility, probably your son will be safe and well cared for. This illness steals personal peace away, so treasure the moments when there is some peace.
I am beside myself right now
One of our pastor’s daughters asked what we needed. I finally reached out and said meals. GF for me and one of our daughters, whatever for my husband and other daughter. I don’t need food I can’t eat on top of an already messed up stomach from stress and worry and fear.
I can’t concentrate. I told her I can’t concentrate enough to make a meal plan and execute it right at the moment. I think I’m still shell shocked.
He got moved yesterday to a short term facility with the end goal to get him back home to us. He is still suicidal. But… He realizes that he called his father satan. He remembers at least some of what he did when he just completely lost it Sunday. He had another break last night around two AM and they had to give him Benadryl and haldol to get him to calm down and then this morning they asked my husband’s permission to put him on an anti-psychotic drug. When we saw him for our visit this afternoon he was calm and aware and sort of there but so so sleepy. And still obviously suicidal.
Tomorrow (as I can’t get ahold of the nurse who is in charge of him tonight) I’m planning on going back up there and talking to them to make sure he’s not on an anti-psychotic that heightens suicidal tendencies. That’s the last thing we need.
And thanks for this.
I thought there was a comment that said they saw a huge change and that their child was off of meds… Thought that was your comment. I’ll have to look and find it.
Short term right now is just getting him stable, not suicidal, and home. Long term I Definitely want to find a good holistic doctor who will look at the big picture and hopefully if not completely ditching any anti-psychotic med, hopefully lowering the dose with natural treatments and diet change, etc.
@Hopeful_in_Tx I’m sorry to hear about your son. It’s definitely not easy. That’s a good idea to find out what they are giving him. Sarcosine is for sz and depression. I tried getting it in my son but he only takes it when I make smoothies. It ended up that it has helped me. I take it daily. This site supports taking it. You can get it through brain vitaminz. I’m glad you have your church helping. I understand how upset you are. My son paranoid sz. Hang in there and here with us you will find a lot of support and good advice.
Hi @Hopeful_in_Tx Welcome to the site. I know you will find some solace here.
I feel the goal of any hospitalization is to stabilize the person and help them get out. I’m sorry your family is going through this.
When I couldn’t bring myself to cook, protein shakes, smoothies and meal replacement bars became my go-to form of food. I personally love my crock pot. Throw stuff in, turn it on, come back later to a cooked meal…
Since you wondered about my story: no, my daughter isn’t well, she refuses to take medicine, to see any doctor, or to trust anyone fully (even me). She got ill in her thirties, is not dangerous to self or others, so no more legal forced hospitalizations. No long term major improvements have been made except to re-arrange life so we get along a bit better and to re-model my house to give her, and us, separate spaces (and even with those her noisy “conversations” often invade my hearing.) She says she will try homeopathics, so I hope that might help.
If this is your son’s first episode, medication and stabilization could return him to himself. I hope so. Take care of yourself while you take care of others.