Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Do you appreciate your caregiver?


#1

How do you show appreciation to your caregiver? Whether that be your husband/wife, parents, brother/sister, daughter/son or anyone else.
Do you say things or let them know that they take care of you? Do you buy a gift once a while? (something that my dad never does) ヽ(ー_ー )ノ


#2

When I was ill I was awful to my caregivers. I feel so terrible about it looking back, and also so thankful that they were kind enough to look the other way. I battled them on everything from getting a job to whether or not we had corn with dinner.
Now that I am stable I try to show my appreciation for all their help by using my card when I pick up that last second item for dinner on my way home or just trying to help out with household things financially when I can. They have given me so much I know there is no real world way to repay the debt but they are my heroes in every sense of the word.
I tell them I love them every time I can but I know if I wasn’t fortunate enough to be blessed with relief of symptoms this may have never happened. I hope they know if I never had improvement and still battled them tooth and nail on everything it wasn’t because I didn’t appreciate them, but it was because I was too sick to know how much I appreciate them.


#3

caregivers are the heros’ of mental and physical illness.
they are the forgotten…
but that trend hopefully is changing.
for me i would not be here but for mrs. sith, so i do as much as often as possible to show my appreciation.
it is the least i can do.
take care
p.s i am sorry your dad is like that…


#4

I have no caregivers, but do need such things.

You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you don’t even get what you need.

The only good anyone does for me is one ride to the grocery store every month, you know why, so i can stay alive to pay rent and bills, it’s the only reason im with these people. They have gotten rid of me repeatedly but forced me to live with them so they could get the stuff they want, rock and a hard place. It was either the wild wild west or live with them.

It’s been a whole shitty using, neglectful, sociopathic mess. The abuses have been built tall and are poisoning me inside.

When you are poor they can do whatever they want with you.

A caregiver?! You mean there are people who give care?! Holy shit!


#5

I’ve been working to make up for the past anger and trauma I’ve put my family through. When I was getting a bit better but not where I am now, I was writing loads of letters trying to let my sis mostly… know that underneath the expressionless lack of care, want and concern… really was her older brother who still valued her friendship.

As I’ve gotten stronger and been healing more, I’ve been doing what I can to let my family know how much I value them and love them.

The way it stands now is… the best way I can show my family I value all the hard work they put into me is to keep it going. Take my meds, go to therapy, be open to discussion with them, push myself once in a while to interact at family events… keep my anger management work in mind and stay calm… stuff like that I’m told has been helping heal all of us.

My parents are less worried about me, I’m rebuilding friendships with two of my brothers, my sisters life has changed dramatically and I feel she’s living a bit more like a normal 18 year old should.


#6

I’m 17. From the age of 12 I feel like I am the parent in stead of the daughter
( ̄へ ̄)


#7

I’m sorry your life got tangled up in this illness too. It’s not easy I’m sure and this illness blurs boundaries.

My sis took on a very parental roll with me as well… when I was deep in negative symptoms. She had to be an adult years before her time.

I’m regret that so deeply. But for some amazing stroke of luck, my sis and I still have a strong relationship.


#8

I see a lot of guilt from those with sz when they are doing well about the things they did when they were not so well. I don’t want my daughter to have that. Especially not shame-shame is debilitating. I don’t blame her for those things she thought and did. Luckily I am not sure she remembers a lot …I don’t bring it up so I don’t know.

I agree that for a caregiver, seeing progress, seeing health, wellness, happiness, progress, reaching potentials, it the best gift there is-since that is the only thing the caregivers really want anyway.

My daughter also trusts me, that means a lot since I can’t help her if she doesn’t-and that shows she appreciates me, some part of her-even at her most paranoid-trusted me as much as I think she was capable of trusting anyone-because she knew I’d have her best interests in mind.

That is all I want or expect, some trust and a willingness to move forward. Then I feel appreciated.


#9

My whole family has supported me since I got sick. My way of paying them back is to do stuff like house-sitting for them when they travel.
Or like right now, keeping my sisters dog in my apartment while she is away for two weeks. I used to do yard work often at all my families different houses but I pretty much retired from that. I have also occasionally helped them when they move into new houses or apartments. My oldest sister started her own small business a few years ago and hired me to rent and drive a moving van, and load and unload furniture. Her business did not last long but she trusted me and depended on me to help her out for two or three months.


#10

I live in an Adult Foster Care home and my caregiver is a godsend. I tell her any way I can. At first, I had inappropriate ways of showing her. I was so withdrawn I couldn’t really know it. Now, every time I can, I help with chores, emptying the dishwasher, doing house laundry, getting my own lunch, cooking a little. But your post reminds me that I should just plain tell her that I appreciate and love her. Thank you for that.


#11

I agree 100% with this and share your experiences. In fact, I am not asking to be appreciated, as if my son owes me something. I don’t see relationships like that. There are many times that he has given me great joy. And times when I have given him sorrow. I’m pretty sure it all balances out in the end.