Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Doing nothing on own accord


#1

Is this quite “normal” son 25 is on 150mg of paliperidone depot each month.
Every day is the same, he will get up, shower have breakfast , usually nearing mid day.

He wont go anywhere himself , occasionally to the shop beside us.
However if I or his dad are going anywhere , even the most mundane place he will want to tag along.
His Dad travels a bit and twice now our son has got up early to go with his Dad, Dad has meetings , son walks about the local place while his dad in meeting then they meet up after, he stayed over a few times as hubbys work lets him have a hotel.
Now he will do all this then at home does nothing. He will do things for me if I ask, if it involves fetching things, picking up things, etc but off his own accord = nothing.
He doesnt get into much tv, except at night maybe in his bed.

Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful we are in a much better place than last year.
What I sort of mean is he relying on us way too much? or is it a genuine symptom ?
I can’t seem to work it out. I don’t know how much of an “enabler” I am becoming.

Silly question maybe? could it be the meds?


#2

Jane, it’s almost as if you were describing my son. He does the exact same thing and I’m beside myself. My son does watch TV though. He has a lot of things he CAN do but just doesn’t. My son doesn’t shower everyday, however. He will if I say, you need to go take a shower. Or if I say, I’m going to town, he’ll go shower because he knows that’s a must for me. Every time I leave the house he wants to come. We drive to our mailbox because it’s down the road a ways. The other day he said, can I go? What? I’m going to the mailbox! Sometimes I want to disappear to a deserted island with no forwarding address! ha. On the other hand, I’m so very thankful he’s this well. I should be and am very thankful that he doesn’t have psychosis and he’s back to his old self. I can’t decide if it’s the meds, if it’s the illness, or if he’s being lazy. I do know if he met a friend that wanted to go do anything, he’d be right there with them. So he’s capable. It’s confusing and kinda sad. It doesn’t seem to bother him anymore though. Maybe you should move to our neighborhood and they could hang out!


#3

Lots of parents and spouses mention their loved one not going places alone and not doing much at home. In our case, my son will go places alone now but it took a few months after he began treatment to venture out on his own to the gym, mall, etc… At home, he becomes restless and doesn’t know how to manage his time. He is doing quite well these days…I am very thankful.


#4

I don’t know about that, I think he’s just lonely and wants to be a part of something/feel needed/wanted. I wish my fiancé was doing as well as your son, even if he were clingy. Some people really enjoy being with their parents or doing things with them often. There’s nothing wrong with that.


#5

Ha good idea JulieAnn, wonder if we could get the visa to move across the pond​:walking_man:t2::earth_americas:
Your experience with your son is so like ours! In fact identical in that I was out last week, came in and had missed a parcel being delivered, told my son , he said “lets both go get it” I said oh it’s 24hours we have to wait now.

He went along with his dad last week to use the car wash! He came to pharmacy with me just for the drive, he sat in car.

Of course same as you, I am not complaining I’m so glad he is at this point now. However his community treatment orders will most probably end in the summer and I don’t think he,lol comply with meds. Trying not to think of that right now.

How old is your son JulieAnn. ?


#6

Tag , so,glad it’s going well for you and your son, how old is he? What meds is he on?


#7

I know Doctor I’m so thankful now for what it’s been like, this is like heaven really.
I’m not complaining, just a bit unsure.
I hope you fiancé gets there. How’s things right now?


#8

Thank you and I get it, a lot of things can be confusing and concerning when it comes to family memebers with mental illness. Lately he’s been really depressed and suicidal. He doesn’t want to take the medications that much either, he’ll procrastinate for hours to take them. I think in a way he’s progressing in some forms and regressing in others.


#9

He is 22 and taking Invega 6 mg orally. He is med compliant which helps tremendously. We have a good situation in that he was nearly through college when he became ill and after a year hiatus, he went back part time this semester and appears to be doing well. We also have a large and supportive family so plenty of young adult cousins to hang around with…it is a godsend for him and for us. Just praying that he stays well😌 as we all are for our children. I wish you the best with your son.


#10

So sorry! Son is kicking off today too.


#11

Thank you and you are in a good place right now.


#12

Hi Jane,

My son is 24, almost 25.

I sure hope your son stays on his meds. It sounds like he’s come a long ways. Are you the one with the son that they sent the helicopters out looking for him? If so, I’m the one that was out looking for my son’s body in the woods after being missing for a while. Boy, they’ve improved, haven’t they?

I hope someday my son will have a friend or two and can live on his own. It’s hard to see that right now. Sometimes it feels so hopeless and other times I’m just in awe of how far he’s come in less than a year. I just want him to be happy and not lonely. And then when I think way into the future, if all stays the same with his mental health, what happens when I die? I’m a worrier, if you can’t tell! ha.

~~ hugs ~~


#13

Hi julieAnn that’s me! Bless you and yes we have come a long way. I remember about the woods with your son x. One day at a time. Pm me anytime, where are you in the USA?


#14

My heart goes out to you Doctor x


#15

Thanks, Jane. PM me anytime as well. I live in Washington State. Kind of a long ways away from you! ha. hugs


#16

Thank you. How has your day been?

And does kicking off mean like in the same situation? I’ve never heard of that phrase before.


#17

Sorry it means having a rant, I was out walking the dog, came back and could hear his voice loud at my hus, not as loud as I used to hear it from outside I might add! He was saying stuf like he shouldn’t have been in hospital for 5 months, the drs aren’t real drs and they don’t really work there, saying husband should have prevented him going to hospital etc etc etc.

I felt quite strong and told him no shouting in this ho anymore, we don’t put up,with that no more. He calmed down, later I went into his room and told him come downstairs and watch tv with his dad and I. Later on he was hugging his dad. He goes from one extreme to another.

I am in the uk that’s why the time difference at me posting. Take care of yourself.


#18

Thank you JulieAnn and Washington state , that’s about as far away in the USA :us: you could get from me :thinking::grinning:


#19

Hi your son sounds abit like mine , he only does things when asked, his room needs tydying but he doesn’t let me do it, and tells me too leave it. I’m glad my sons alive , but I think most times is he relying on me too much? What happens if I die? ,but I have to be positive and think positive for his sake😄Best wishes


#20

That’s okay, I understand. I’m sorry to hear that. I’m currently crying. I have no friends. He’s my only real connection to humanity, for reasons I don’t even understand. I feel like he doesn’t care about of things that matter to me or about doing anything. I just want this to be over. I feel so depressed. I’m currently trying to get a job because I don’t have enough money to rent an apartment by myself since I’m disabled. I don’t think I can allow myself to do this longer.