Don't know where to start

My 19 y/o son has been recently diagnosis with SZ after 2 years of me trying to convince him to get some help. On his released from his 1st and only inpatient stay, his father had agreed to help out with housing for our son. We have been divoiced for over 10years and I had always had primary physical custody of our son during those years . Because I had recently moved my oldest daughter and her 3 minor children into my home, I really had no space in my home for that my son to return there since he had moved into his own place 3 months prior which he was evicted from 1 week prior to his hospitalization. My son’s father found every excuse under the sun to why he will not be able to take our son into his home after allowing him to stay with me for the first 2 weeks after discharge as we agreed. Now my son present in the home is causing all kind of friction and disruption in the home. My daughter is resentful and even the children are bothered by his sometimes irrational behaviors. He doesn’t pose a threat to anyone, but dealing with paranoia, anxiety and fear of being around people. He runs to hide whenever some one approaches an area or room he is occupying, chain smokes cigarettes and always accusing someone of taking about him. He has to sleep on the couch and when the kids are up and moving around the house, he retreats to my bedroom, which give me no break or privacy. I feel guilty because I’m stresses out, he’s stressed out trying to understand his diagnosis and the whole family is stressed and lifestyle and routine has changed. He has not been able to hold down a job for almost 2 years due to his symptoms and behaviors. I was told to apply for SSI and Medicare for him so he could be able get some financial help to obtain his own place, but I don’t know where to started. I’t unfair to ask everyone else in the house to deal with his SZ, but I’m 100% willing to helping and supporting him throughout his care, transport and treatments. Where do I start???.

Check out this website for SSI.

For SSDI. I warn you up front, to qualify for one of these types of benefits the applicant must have worked at some time in their life. I’m not sure if it’s SSI or SSDI.

This website gives their phone number to call and talk to them.

This is for Medicare:

Don’t get overwhelmed by all this info. Take an hour and sit down just peruse the websites to get a general grasp on what is needed.
In my own case here in California, I have been to two different vocational programs and after going for several months I ended up with jobs from both of them(7 years apart). Our area also has transportation. I’ve never used it but I’ve been seeing disabled people I know getting in vans a million times and I know they take them to programs and appointments for free or a nominal fee. I myself have a car but I caught the bus everywhere form 1990-1996. That included an hour and a half trip one way trip to work four or five days a week, and one and half hours back. I was also going to school and from 5-6 AA meetings a week and any other place I needed to go. With treatments we have day programs or clubhouses for disabled people to go 4 or 5 days a week to do art, exercise, have group therapy, play games, cook and eat lunch, or get tips on living independently.
For treatment call up your local hospitals or mental health clinics to to get an idea of what help is out there. I say call hospitals or clinics because sometimes they refer patients to each other or they have leads to help. Many mental health services are aware of each other and recommend and refer clients to each other. But to start the ball rolling you need to call. A psychiatrist at a clinic might be helpful in finding a cheap psychiatrist or therapist your son could see. Some psychiatrists charge on a sliding scale. This is a start.

I think finding an outlet or support group for yourself may help you to cope. I know that taking care of my son put extra stress on my relationship with my husband.

Check out NAMI: - National Alliance on Mental Illness.

If your son is open to it then getting him in an Early Intervention program could help to get him out and around other people.

Early Psychosis Treatment center information in these two links

Psychiatric Treatment Centers affiliated with Medical Schools in the USA

Can also find some very useful information here:

I remember when my son first came to live with me and he had to sleep on the couch. It was hard on everyone that no one had any privacy and it felt like everyone was in each others way. Even after he got his own room, 3 adults and 1 bathroom… I’m guessing with 3 adults and 3 children that the day to day must be hard.

I know this may not be an ideal solution. It’s not something I would usually suggest however if his paranoia and anxiety is this high and he is always trying to get away from people then maybe letting him have a bedroom would help. He would have somewhere to be that he felt safe and it would have less of an impact on the children. Of course that would probably put you sleeping on the couch with zero privacy which certainly isn’t ideal. Sorry I don’t have any better ideas.

fyi - SSI does not require any previous employment. A visit to a local social security office can help in sorting out what your son qualifies for. You will need for him to be cooperative on applying for services. Many states automatically sign a person up for Medicaid if they qualify for SSI, BUT not all, so that might require a separate application.

The next thing to do is to contact the local mental health services and try to get your son engaged in services thru them. A social worker can be a great help, and may be able to find opportunities for him to spend time out of the home, which can relieve some of the stress in the home.

I’m closing this thread since there are two threads and hopefully this will make responding less confusing.