Has anyone ever experienced your loved one who has schizophrenia cutting you off? My Mom is 77 and has cut off me, 2/3 of my siblings, my Aunt, and her friends. I dont know what to do. Ive apologized outside her window, told her I was going to the hospital, etc. She just seemed to stop caring about us. What was your experience? Any ideas what we can do? Apparently she thinks ive trashed her place/clothing (that was her), she imagined i was “hollering” outside to a neighbor (neighbor didnt hear that and they wouldve), etc. Im not sure why she cut off my 2 siblings in another state. She cut off my Aunt because she blames her for her hospitalization. I just dont know what to do. My heart is broken and im worrying about her all the time.
Well, she’s hurting herself by cutting you guys off, I don’t know if she can realize that. When I first got sick with schizophrenia I tried to cut off my parents and one of my sisters. My reason was that I blamed them for my illness and I wanted nothing to do with them. They didn’t give up on me though, they kept contacting me and within a few short months I realized my illness was not their fault and I also realized they were only trying to help me and wanted the best for me.
I don’t know how to make your mother see you mean her no harm and you care for her, I had to come to the realization myself in regards to my parents and my sister and then they became my biggest allies and we had great relationships with each other until both my parents passed away.
All I can say is don’t give up on her, keep reaching out, prove you still care about her. I don’t know any shortcuts to getting her back to caring about you, maybe if you keep showing you care about her she’ll start caring about you again. Sorry, it’s not the best advice but when I was really sick I needed my parents and I’m glad they didn’t give up on me. They realized it was the disease talking when I told them I wanted nothing to do with them.
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Entirely. And hurting us. My Mom knows she has had this illness for 50 years before I was born, knows meds are required, but is in denial of current psychosis. Were you on meds for a few months before realizing they wanted to help you?
She has been on meds for a couple of weeks. I think part of this is schizophrenia negative/positive symptoms, part of this is her messing up on meds/them not working well, and maybe dementia. My Mom hallucinates I do and say things I dont. She also blames my Aunt for her hospitalization despite herself calling 911 (and her needing it). I dont know what she blames my 2 siblings in Idaho for, they have been a state away this entire time. I think she gets mad that we dont give in to her delusions (she said my Aunt & 1 sister placate her). I myself entirely deny her accusations, of course. Why would I ever say yes I stole and did all these things when I didnt and thatd just make everything worse. I went to my Moms place, she ignored me, called a neighbor, told them I was “yelling” and sort of threatened calling the police for harassment and going to her landlord. (I wasnt yelling and not once did my Mom say she doesnt want to have me in her life. She also may think I have communication with neighbor). She got a new #, didnt tell almost anyone the #. So its obvious she doesnt want contact and legally, I think I should abide by that as much as I can thats reasonable, she has a right to cut off contact and I need to protect my time, money, sanity, health. She also cant see her mailbox key on her keychain, so letters arent an option. She is very sue happy, files false police reports, can fake being ok at times, and threatened to call the irs on me. She also physically attacked me and stole my car keys and purse the other day (i got them back). If she wanted to talk to me, id be open to it. But im getting cameras to prove her claims are baseless. She knows my # & where i live. I told her come over whenever. Maybe for thanksgiving ill leave a package on her door with a nice note about happy thanksgiving wish we werent alone and id love to spend the holidays with her. Im going to visit her less and less so she doesnt feel harassed. (I tried visiting her thursday and saturday). I highly doubt she is going to improve without being in a hospital for a month or longer. She may not improve at all. I honestly think its a matter of time before she hurts herself, someone else, loses everything, becomes homeless, dies, or best case scenario hospitalized. Her doctors, the police, crisis line, caregivers all seem helpless with this.
How do i prove i care when her delusions about me persist and she threatens legal action? She could get a restraining order and i dont want that happening. Id like to prevent that. She went into hospital 10-22, shortly after said she doesnt trust any of us, and now she cut us all off since wednesday. I think ill knock and leave package thanksgiving day, and christmas day. Thats it. No more going over there other than maybe once a month. I have to legally respect her wishes.
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Wow, that’s a really complicated situation. You say she is in denial of her current psychosis. You mean (maybe you don’t know) that she doesn’t see or acknowledge that her behavior is out of the ordinary? This is how she functions all the time? She thinks all this you described is normal? I would be worried too if it was my mother, that this is going to end badly.
How does she live independently with all the paranoia and with cutting her family and friends off? No man or woman is an island, she must be depending on somebody. I know that all your interactions with her go badly but if you don’t help her than your worst case scenarios are going to come true. I don’t even see how she can live day to day in the state of mind she is in.
Is there anyone she trusts who can guide her or steer her into making the right decisions such as getting help? It’s a slim possibility but I think the most you can hope for is she changes her mind in time and lets some of you back into her life but I don’t think there’s a chance of that.
I don’t know what country or state you live in but here in California someone can be involuntarily committed if they pose a danger to themselves or others or if they are considered gravely disabled due to a mental illness and they can’t take care of their own basic needs. In your mothers case a hospitalization would seem like a betrayal to her but if she meets any of those criteria, it’s an option and the hospital will try and help her and try to get any medication issues sorted out. Doesn’t she see she needs help?
I’m sorry your relationship is so bad with her. To answer your question, no, I was not on meds when I let my parents back into my life. It’s always sad when I see a schizophrenic person treat the very people who are trying to help them as enemies. If I give advice on how to have a good recovery from schizophrenia I always say, take your medication, cooperate with the people trying to help you and don’t fight the people trying to help you. These things have always come in good stead with me in my recovery over the years.
Youre telling me…yes, she doesnt seem to realize she presently has psychosis. This is all new since September. She got involuntarily committed 10/22, then released wednesday before she was ready. She has been on medicine for a couple of weeks while in hospital. Prior to september, she was good, almost entirely typical, great. This is all new. She seems to think many are out to get her. I wouldnt say she thinks this is normal. She thinks shes hacked and everyones stealing from her, hacking her, etc. Shes upset over it. She doesnt remember trashing her own house, deleting her own email, etc.
She lived independent fine for decades until now. She isnt depending on anyone. She does have caregivers stop in, but she doesnt trust them to do much, accuses them of theft, trashing her house, etc. They dont last longer than a shift.
She wont let me help her. She wont even answer the door or come to her window. I dont have her #.
She only trusts my eldest sister who doesnt care much for her at all, lives hours away, is delusional and mean with borderlinepd/addiction issues of her own. She has cut me off, wont guide my Mom.
We are in vancouver, clark county, wa state. How do i get her involuntarily committed? My Mom thinks she needs help against our family her caregivers etc being hacked stolen from etc.
Oh wow thats interesting about not being on meds. What was the last straw that made u change your mind on your family? My Moms very angry, hostile towards us. Just delusional.
These are results for involuntarily committing someone in washington state
AI Overview
In Washington, involuntary commitment is initiated by a designated crisis responder (DCR) who assesses if a person with a behavioral health disorder is a danger to themselves, others, or their property, or is gravely disabled
. This process can lead to a 5-day detention for evaluation and treatment, with a potential 14-day hold or longer if a court finds continued commitment is necessary. For adults, a direct connection must exist between the disorder symptoms and the risk of harm; for adolescents, the risk does not need to be imminent.
Who can initiate the process?
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Designated Crisis Responders (DCRs): DCRs are the only ones who can make the initial determination for involuntary commitment. They are mental health professionals who respond to calls from concerned parties.
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Family members or legal guardians: They can initiate the process for individuals under 13.
What are the criteria for commitment?
To be involuntarily detained, the individual must be 18 or older (or 13 to 17, with slightly different criteria) and meet the following conditions:
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Have a behavioral health disorder.
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The symptoms of this disorder present a likelihood of serious harm to themselves, others, or their property, or cause them to be gravely disabled.
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For adults, a direct connection must exist between the disorder and the risk of harm.
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For adolescents (13-17), a serious risk of harm is sufficient, and it does not need to be imminent.
How does the process work?
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Call a DCR: Someone concerned about an individual can contact a DCR for an evaluation.
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Initial Evaluation: The DCR assesses the individual to determine if they meet the criteria for commitment. This evaluation includes a mental status exam and discussions with the individual and other involved parties.
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Detention: If the DCR finds the criteria are met, the individual can be detained for up to five days for evaluation and treatment, typically in an evaluation and treatment center or a hospital.
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Further Treatment: After the initial hold, if continued commitment is deemed necessary, a court hearing can order a longer period of inpatient or outpatient treatment.
What are the individual’s rights?
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During the evaluation, an individual’s rights are read to them, including the right to legal counsel and the right to remain silent.
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The individual has the right to refuse to talk, but the investigation will continue.
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They are informed of their rights, the process, the potential outcomes, and their role in the investigation
If you had her involuntarily committed I don’t know if they could hold longer than the initial 5 days and then 14 days more if they decide she needs it.
I don’t really remember, it was over 45 years ago.
I know all that, thanks…but how do i contact dcr?
AI Overview
To contact a
Designated Crisis Responder (DCR) in Washington State, you should call the state’s 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or call your local 911. The 988 line is for non-emergency situations and connects you with a crisis counselor, while 911 is for immediate, life-threatening emergencies. The DCR is a specialized role to evaluate individuals who may be a danger to themselves or others, so you should start with the main crisis lines to get connected to the right local support.
For non-life-threatening situations
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Call or text 988: This connects you to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline 24/7. Trained counselors can provide confidential support and help determine the next steps, which may include dispatching a DCR.
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Chat online: You can also use the online chat feature on the 988 Lifeline website for confidential support, as described in this Facebook post.
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Text CONNECT to 741741: This connects you to the Crisis Text Line for support via text message, as shown on the Peninsula Behavioral Health website.
For life-threatening emergencies
- Call 911: In a life-threatening situation, you should call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.
To find local information
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Visit your county’s website: For specific information about local DCRs, you can check your county’s government website, such as the example from Snohomish County, as shown on snohomishcountywa.gov.
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Find a local help line: You can also visit the Washington Recovery Help Line at warecoveryhelpline.org for 24-hour help with substance use, problem gambling, and mental health