I’m desperately seeking advice from anyone suffering from schizophrenia, surviving schizophrenia, and supporting someone with schizophrenia. I’m a daughter parenting a mother who needs to seek help, but refuses to get help.
I’m struggling with determining what’s right, what’s fair, and what’s necessary. I’m struggling with making decisions when I’m not sure if I’ve educated myself properly to do so. I’ve met medical professionals. I’ve met behavioral health specialists. I’ve watch videos and read articles. But honestly, I want to talk to somebody that’s going through what I’m going through right now. I’ve looked into NAMI, but I can barely stand strong on my two feet behind closed doors.
My mother is a beautiful woman and a beautiful soul. She’s suffered from abuse, malnourishment, and possible molestation as a child. She married young, had me, but never fully developed who she is as a person. She’s a kind lamb who takes care of everyone, but herself. We were incredibly, disgustingly close for many, many years. However, about five years ago she started showing signs of paranoia, delusions, and her entire personality changed. She struggles with circumlocution and most frequently relies on spewing out words, tangential phrases that rarely have a point, and terms she believes everyone understands, but doesn’t. She worked for the department of emergency medicine and started believing she was being researched, studied, and watched. She lost her position and struggled to find a new one. She currently believes that everyone is watching her, is involved in this conspiracy, and that if she doesn’t show she’s a good person by donating everything she owns, giving away everything she’s earned at work, and never doing anything for herself, then she’ll be punished. She’s scared, anxious, and rarely sleeps. I bought her a kitten for christmas and she thinks it’s because of an experiment.
Right now the only thing that’s real is me because she gave birth to me. She’s expressed to me that there are times she wishes she could just run her car into something and I cry.
I don’t know how to get her the help she needs to feel relief. I don’t want to ruin her life by filing an involuntary psych eval. But she needs love, support, and professional help. I’m struggling to understand and I just need to know what I need to do to give her the unfailing support she always gave me.
Desperately seeking hope.