Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Family denial, husband powerless


#1

My wifes mother has severe sz, she developed it when she was around twenty five years old. Before that she was married with two children. When she developed it her husband left her and as she could not look after her children they where sent to live with relatives who didn’t want them. Her son has autism and daughter (my wife) has severe mental disturbances brought about by childhood trauma and loneliness. Both her and her brother to this day refuse to recognize their mothers illness and when she does something strange laugh at it or ignore it. Her mother is sometimes violent and very unpredictable, and has a long list of routines that includes washing her arms for many hours and boiling water many times and in certain containers before she will drink it. I accepted my wifes frailty when I married her but over the past two years she is forming the same habits her mother has and cannot see reason when I try to explain that what she is doing is not what a normal person does. I have no idea of how much my wife has been influenced by her family, as two years ago we moved across the world to live with them. She always has had her own specific way of doing things, and I tolerated them however since spending most of her time with her mother (which is an incredible strain on our marriage) she seems to either mimicking her behavior or developing sz herself. She is refusing to work, or go outside, she wont talk at all in the front room for fear other people will hear her, she thinks she has a life threatening illness that cant be cured and no one knows about, she will not allow me to have any friends or communication with others, the list goes on. I have asked her to go see a doctor but she says she wont, and I have asked her to take her mother and she refuses. Life is a strain as most days she cries and is emotionally unstable however occasionally she is very caring. When I see her clean her teeth for 1 1/2 hours I just don’t know what to do. We are currently living on the other side of the world and have no support here from anyone.
Any advice would be much appreciated.


#2

When I first got sick with paranoid schizophrenia in 1980 at age 19 my parents had a mental health worker come to the house and visit with us. Very casual, very informal and non-threatening.I guess the idea was that I would feel comfortable in my own environment and feel in control and open up to the women. I ended up freaking out and not talking but it was a good idea by my parents for the reasons I listed.


#3

Please look at these sites:
http://www.leapinstitute.org/ - under resources are free videos on using LEAP
LEAP is a way of communicating to build trust. Listen-Empathize-Agree-Partner.

http://dramador.com/ - Dr. Xavier Amador is a clinical psychologist whose brother had schizophrenia. He is the founder of the LEAP Institute. Wrote the book: I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! Can buy from his website.

Search Xavier Amador on YouTube for more videos

http://ourhealthyminds.com/family-handbook/communication/Building-a-collaborative-relationship-leap.html
Building A Collaborative Relationship “LEAP”

http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/index.php - under problems you will see anosognosia
Anosognosia looks like denial but is different.

http://lesswrong.com/lw/e25/bayes_for_schizophrenics_reasoning_in_delusional/ - helped my understand delusions

(May 26, 2010) Professor Robert Sapolsky finishes his lecture on language and then dives into his discussion about schizophrenia. He discusses environmental factors as well as genetic characteristics that could apply to people who are affected. He describes schizophrenia as a disease of thought disorder and inappropriate emotional attributes.

http://www.nami.org/ - National Alliance on Mental Illness.
http://www.schizophrenia.ca/ - Schizophrenia Society of Canada

Can also find some very useful information here:
http://schizophrenia.com/

Early Psychosis Treatment center information in these two links
http://www.schizophrenia.com/earlypsychosis.htm
http://www.raiseetp.org/sites/
http://psychosisprevention.org/get-involved/education-center/finding-treatment/

Psychiatric Treatment Centers affiliated with Medical Schools in the USA
http://www.schizophrenia.com/psychcenters.htm

This link may help you find a psychiatrist in your area
http://psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php