I have been on this site before but had to create another account. My story was that my husband has SZ. He was not diagnosed but I secretly wrote a letter to his doctor of all the weird things he was doing and the nurse called me to tell me the doc says it is paranoid SZ.
So he still is not diagnosed and still says nothing is wrong with him. I am still his biggest enemy. I supposedly have slept with everyone, I have been involved with the government and he has written a book called “the black book”. he says he knows I don’t want the book to go out and that is why I have done everything I can to keep it from being published.
But this story is nothing new. I am used to those claims. My biggest problem now really hurts. I work a normal 8-5 pm job. I provide food, utilities, and luxuries. I do my part cleaning and doing ALL errands and anything that has to do with my son like doctor or play time. He has helped by sweeping often, washing dishes, and cooking often. Okay, it would be wonderful if he had an income but I have accepted that he is ill. BUT now he has brought our son into this. Just some history here, we broke up and I got pregnant by a guy I was with. He came back when I was 1 month preg. The other guy wanted an abortion so I ended back with my now husband. He was in the delivery room too. So my husband choose to be in our sons life. He wanted to be a daddy. My son didn’t choose him. So moving on to present, when i say something about I need you to do >>>>> for our son. He says, he is not my son. He makes this very clear. And, he was helping me drop him off and pick him up from school and this week he has told me that he is not his son and he will not pick him up no longer. This really hurts. My son loves him and only knows him. My son didn’t choose who his daddy will be. I have tried every logic to make my husband understand (i know he will never be logically or realistic but still) he is a child. He is only 6. Don’t do this to him.
Of course, it does not matter what I say. I am the enemy. He said I have slept with everyone, I have stole the deed to OUR house, been part of the government and so on. I have stayed with him because I love him and mostly I don’t want my son to have a broken heart if we leave daddy. But I get no love. I can’t touch him. We have been like this since last year. Or over a year. Basically it is living with a room mate except I pay all this roommates bills. I have no husband anymore. And he makes it clear we are OVER. He tells me all the time that the topic is not new. He told me many times we are done.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want my 6 yr old child to be broken heart. I do love my husband and if i leave he will have nothing: no food, air, lights, anything. He will basically live under a roof like a camper. and my child will ask to see his daddy except he will be seeing him like a homeless guy. I don’t want that either. HELP. I feel lost. I feel crushed inside at the thought of leaving or even at the thought that I deserve more. I don’t know how to feel.