I just joined this site because I am in need of some help for myself dealing with a mother with schizophrenia. She is not the only one in her family that has it. I have an uncle that has been in and out of hospitals since he was a young adult. My mother is 70 by the way. She has been sick her whole adult life, as long as I can remember it. As far as I know she has never taken any medication. She acknowledges that she has voices in her head and that they tell her bad things about me, my sister and brother. Other than that she thinks there is nothing wrong with her. She has moment of lucidity but they are few and far between.
I recently moved back from Seattle to live with her because I was worried that she was getting worse. Well I was right. I just had no idea how bad it s. She is constantly talking to the voices in her head, even if I’m in the same room. I also notice that she is projecting things on to me. She is a hoarder and has stuff everywhere. When I moved in, I put everything neatly where she told me to put it. Everything else is in my room. She is constantly telling me that I’m disorganized. Also she is very overweight and is constantly telling me that I’m fat. Is this a part of the sickness??
I knew that moving home it wouldn’t be easy and I try to do my best to be accommodating to her to avoid a blow up, but sometimes it’s hard. She sometimes has no sense of reality and switches from one delusion to another. It is hard to have a conversation with her because I can’t follow her train of thought. The other thing is she mixes up details and people and puts them in situations that are impossible. Like she recently told he she was speaking to two men in jail. I know for a fact that she has been no where near a jail. She mixes up timelines of things and is convinced that me, my sister and my brother hate her, and are trying to hurt her. She gets mad a flies into a rage at the drop of hat. She is verbally abusive to me and has been physically abusive in the past. ’
She constantly says no one will help her, but when we do we are trying to pull something over on her. Trying to hurt her, steal her money, working with “them”. It’s just gotten to be a lot to take today.
Sometimes I feel guilty because I feel that her mind is so “Swiss cheese” and she will never get meds or help that the only way she can find peace is to not be in this life anymore. I just want her to have some peace in life. She is so full of anger I just don’t know what to do. No one in my family will help. They just call her crazy and ignore her. I feel that if my grandmother and grandfather or someone in my family had tried to help her years ago, she might not be in the condition she is in right now.
I just feel that I am at the end of my rope. I know once I get working it will be better because I won’t have to be around her all day, but until that I just need help and I don’t know where to turn. When will I have peace??
Is there anything I can do to help her see she’s ill and needs help? Can I talk to her doctor?? I don’t want to put her in the hospital or anything like that, but I know I can’t do it by myself. Any advice is very much appreciated.
I appreciate this venue to vent. I feel better knowing that I’m not alone. Thank you for reading.