First of all I am so so so grateful to have found this community. I have a great group of friends who support me and my work is amazing and supportive, but reading stories from you who understand is on another level.
To make a very long story short, when I was 20 was when my mom’s delusions started getting bad. She thinks people are trying to kill her and her delusions include dust coming from different parts of the house, from electronics, etc.
Eventually she began thinking my dad was trying to kill her and ended up being homeless. She has never been diagnosed but has all the symtoms and it has progressed.
Now I am 30 years old, last year I went to take her to live with me. An across the ocean trip as she was in Hawaii (where I am from) and I now reside in Washington State.
I wanted to help her, I wanted to get her a better life, I wanted to save her.
That all crumbled around me and was truly a traumatic experience.
I know I could have done many things better in my reactions etc but ultimately I couldn’t help her and her delusions became that I was apart of the conspiracy trying to kill her.
So she went to live with my brother in Eastern WA and then miraculously was able to on SS and get senior housing (she refused to apply for SS with me)
Of course the delusions follow her and after months of telling me how unhappy she is and how people are trying to hurt her….
I woke up this morning to a text message from her saying:
Hi alisa when you read this I have landed in seattle
I couldn’t stay in pullman getting too sick losing my site on the right eye. If you can take my suite case and I can find a homeless shelter. I love you alisa I’m sorry to spring this on you like this”
(The dust she says is making her loose sight in her eye and no one at the hospitals will help her)
I literally don’t know what to do. I told her I cannot go and get her. I am working tonight and I truly have been finally healing and getting my own mental health stabilized as well as my finances.
I want to support her so much. I want to be there for her. She was the best mother growing up even though she did some odd things. Now I have seen the love in her go (the flat effect) and she’s really cruel to me because she believes I’m making her life hell.
Please any advice or support from anyone???
Thank you a million