Help us communicate with our son

Hello. Just found this forum. Looking for advise. Our son is 30 years old, was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder about 4 years ago when he was medically discharged from the Air Force. He went through the VA system, got his disability and they put him in a VA mental ward for two weeks that scared he hell out of him. After leaving the VA facility he went off his meds. Was placed back into local mental illness ward for another two weeks, back out, then on and off meds. Has now been off meds for two years. It has been a roller coaster of a ride with his paranoia and anger moods and all the subjects he talks about. He just recently came out of a sycosis period of a week or so long, very scary for us as he had not slept for days and rammed his truck into our Halloween display because he said it was a satanic display. After that i have been very depressed and scared for my son. He did come out of it in past couple days after taking over half a bottle of sleeping pills and a full pack of THC gummies! He admitted to his mom he tried to commit suicide and told her he would like to go to counseling but not through the VA. He wants to go to an old counselor he met a few years ago so now we have to get him loaded in the system again and im affraid the appointment will take to long to arrive and he will again fall back into sycosis. When he is in sycosis he has anosognosia and we cant get him to understand he is ill. Anyway, i have been searching youtube for videos that best describe how to communicate with our son as to not upset him and encourage him to get help. Does anyone have advise? On a side note, some of the things Ben does is talk to himself or someone in his head, he thinks he sees bugs, hears things in the basement, throws away his clothes and all his personal belongings. He will buy something, use it one time then throw it away. I don’t know why he does this. The other thing he does is drive around in his car for HOURS. I mean like all day. No idea where he goes or what he does. He has no sense of time. Do others with this disorder drive around for hours? I’m trying to get a hold of the local NAMI support office so we can visit one of their support group meetings next week but have not heard back yet from my email to register. Thanks for listening, hope you all have a great weekend.

Hi , I’m so sorry you are dealing with this right now , my sibling with schizo affective disorder loses time when he is unwell ,one thing he does is spend hours at his bedroom window staring and talking sometimes yelling , my sibling has anosognosia and has always said he doesn’t hear voices ,but occasionally he has let me into his world probably not on purpose of but telling or asking me what he sees .
For example one day we were both looking out across the driveway at an empty lot a man walked by he said there they are carrying the boards around to crucify me !
I simply said oh I missed that . this disease is heartbreaking .
I’ve added a link to leap institute for communication techniques .
Nami support groups are great you may not need to wait for an affiliate some states have virtual support groups you can sign yourself up for . look at your local state page sometimes you can join another county’s meeting as well. If there’s one sooner.
And this forum is a wealth of information as well you can search topics of past threads .
I do hope your son will get that meeting with his trusted old counselor that may be a wonderful gateway .
Thank you for sharing here

Thank you for the info. Yeah Ben puts almost one thousand miles on his car each day just driving around. He left home yesterday at 7 am and did not return until about 8pm. Between 8 and 1am he came into our room several times, talking about noises in the basement and looking for a particular doll he thought was possessed. We asked him to take some sleep meds but he refused, he left home again at 1am and did not return until 5am when he finally laid down in bed. He was up again at 9:15am this morning and about to walk out the door when we stopped him and asked him to work with his mom to call the insurance company to get car insurance on the used Toyota camry he picked out on his own two days ago. We had to get him out of his 2024 silverado and into a car becuase the truck was costing to much in gas and mileage. We are planning to clean it up and sell it to pay it off to give him more money from his VA disability pay check. I cant ask him to not drive his car so much because it is his release from staying in his bedroom and listening to the noises in the basement and walls. I sent an email to NAMI a couple days ago to register for next tuesdays meeting event but no reply back from them as of yet.

Keep watch on your email Nami may just send you a zoom link day of meeting.
I forgot to mention my sibling has ocd tendencies maybe your son using items just once could be related .
When my sibling is unwell he sleeps very little.

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You know, i am shocked by all he different stories i have read over the past few days of so many families dealing with SZ adult children and how almost all of the ill family members do not take medications. So sad.

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Yeah. The best behaved times for my son is when he is on meds. He is currently refusing to take but is seeking some kind of solution.in Kava tea, gaba, and now mushroom.gummies…one person Here told of results of another with a carnivor or keto diet. I havent been able to get son to follow that. They also said food dyes and things like soda may.contribute…the diseace does seem like they are tormented by bad spirits…my son said he saw devils in the yard, and they tell him to be quiet about them being there…he drives some times to.do door dash to make some.mo ey, but spends it all.online and the gas costs us more than he makes as he wastes what he makes. The best times are when he is talking on.phone to other disabled guys , about gaming so seems semi normalcy, rather than isolation. No real.motivaion to.do much. Sad and im.always sad too now.

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Morning C11. Ben does not like to interact with anyone unless it is absolutely necessary to get what he needs from them and leave. He doesnt like to talk to anyone on the phone either. Never had any friends so he goes out all day just driving around listening to where the voices tell him to go. I went on the carnivore diet one year ago and lost over 100 pounds, i tried to get Ben on to the diet but that lasted about 10 minuets. I am convinced a good amount of the symptoms people with mental illness exhibit can be reduced by going strict carnivore. Just like cancer feeds off of carbs/glucose so do illnesses. But how do you teach that to someone who does think they are sick. I really wished he could communicate with others that have this affliction it sure would allow him to release some of his thoughts. Hope your son finds a stable life.

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If he is sucidal, call the cops and tell them. And that he is schizoaffective, needs to go to CPAC ( mental ward) in hospital.
He needs to be court mandated, because he is always stopping his meds. Talk to the social worker.

He says he is not suicidal, gets angry when we bring it up. He said last time he took a bottle of sleeping meds and a bag of tch gummies he was trying to kill the spirits. He wont let us take him to hospital or anything. Just dont know what to do but let him roam around lost until he hurts himself or someone else.

Well killing the spirits could of killed him
Did he go to hospital?

My sibling has been self medicating most of his life as well

nope. When he woke up he said he was not ill and did not need to see a therapist. Just cant get him to recognize his illness.

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So sad, the symptom anosognosia makes it impossible for him to “recognize his illness”.

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Sadly schizophrenia is an overwhelming disease. My 32 yr old nephew who has lived w us for 5 years recently had an episode of severe psychosis with non stop delusions. He experiences these delusions as his reality and the arguements he has w these voices is never ending. It’s a challenge to get him to do the routine activities of life such as showering , eating , going thru his mail etc. He was prescribed Abilify which decreased his symptoms but since he sees the delusions as truth, he feels the meds are not needed and it’s next to impossible to encourage him to take his meds.

Lately he’s been increasingly agitated, fearful , n paranoid. He brought a 10 inch butcher knife in the car w us this morning and has every knife I own has been strategically placed throughout my house.

I’ve contacted authorities several times as my 80 yr old mom and I (56 yr old female)are often scared that he will hurt us. The police arrested him 2x so far but released him after 30 days. He refused to take him anti psychotics and is now back at square one. I’ve asked every health care provider for direction but since he doesn’t tell the doc the truth about his thoughts , there is little help available.

I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do next or how to get him the needed treatment. It’s a never ending roller coaster.
Any suggestions ?

We live in So Cal and he has been evaluated by a doctor only 2-3 times He typically refuses to talk to anyone and often takes off as soon as we arrive at his docs office. Any recommendations to get him the help he needs

Dear Refueled:
My wife suffers from psychosis. She drives for hours, too. I think this is her way of coping with her voices. When you say that your son came out of psychosis but then afterwards he continues to display signs that he hasn’t so that has me confused. With psychosis, people don’t think that they have anything wrong with them. Their delusions and hallucinations are as real to them as your kitchen table is to you. Work by Dr. Xavier Amador (his book, I Am Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help) is something I would highly recommend. Additionally, the book, The Reality Slap, by Russ Harris is terrific. It is available on Audible and he is spot on in regard to how to stay positive and grounded while going through long periods of hardship and pain in life. This may be helpful to you. I hope that best for you and your family. Regards, Kevin

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Hi Kevin. I think he is always in psychosis to some degree. He hears things that are not there, sees things that are not there. I started reading Dr. Amandors book but Ben doesn’t like to talk so it is hard to have have more than one sentence with him. I will look into the other book you mentioned. Thank you for responding.

Hi Holly, sorry to hear about your nephew. I wished i had advice to give that would help you cope with the situation. I would definately hide all knives in the house. Use plastic if you can. Our son Ben hasnt been to violent, yet. He always keeps to himself, we are lucky if we can get a few words in before he walks offt hen drives away. His illness has him driving around for hours on end wasting gas and racking up miles. From other stories i have read i guess Ben driving around for hours is the least of my worries. Although we did just buy him a 2013 camry to replace his truck he couldnt afford payments on and he totaled his camry five days after we purchased it. Lost a lot of money on that car but at least he was not to injured in the accident. Others in our situation report their adult loved ones screaming through the night at the walls or voices, angry outbursts, upsetting language, physically abusive and so on. So i guess i have to be positive about our situation even though my wife and i are at our wits end with this whole ordeal. Its been a loooong three four years.

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Hi,

Yes, I also have a similar experience in regard to trying to encourage conversation. Most time I get no response. Sometimes I get a word or two. It seems the lack of conversation is not because they don’t want to communicate; rather, because the condition inhibits their ability to communicate. At least this is my experience. Your own self care is crucial. I highly recommend The Reality Slap by Russ Harris.

Best regards,

Kevin Skilton

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Thanks Kevin, i will look into the book. Still making my way through Dr. Amador’s book.

Our son had a psychotic break down at 1:30am saturday morning. Had to run him up to emergency room. He took a hole bag of delta 8 gummies because he was trying to kill the spirits in his head. He said he had gamma radiation poring out of his eyes and ears. He talked all night about spirits and demons and all sorts of demons that broke his spiritual neck or spine. Really far out there stuff. We convinced him to make the gamma radiation go away he need to tell them to admit him. So when the crisis team therapist finally arrived the spoke with the psychiatrist and they agreed to admit him. We spoke with him today and he is back to his old angry self. We are going over to visit him here in a few minutes. We pray they can get him on a medication that will calm his mind down and allow us to communicate with him about his future but im scared as hell at the moment about him rejecting help and afraid that is he wont take meds after leaving hospital we will have no choice but to give him an ultimatum to leave home or stay and take meds. Just dont know what the next few days holds for us.

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