Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

He's out and I'm getting scared


#1

Hi everyone

My son was hospitalized again last week the police took him. He has now lost his home. He could have stayed in the hospital and received help and services but instead he refused all meds convinced the doctors he was fine and left with really nowhere to go.

My problem is that he is getting madder and madder at me. He blames me for his illness and all of his problems. He told the police that I made him sick and that he only has symptoms around me. Anyone he talks to he will just tell them how awful and evil I am. Right now I am the target.

Here is my question to all of you. I feel he is dangerous to me. But if I were to leave town would he just start in on someone else? Like my mom or my sister? I am worried about putting others at risk. He hasn’t actually threatened bodily harm to me. But I think he know is he does that he will be Baker acted.

Thanks


#2

Sorry for your situation. :frowning:

While I was psychotic I was primarily mad at one person. I was around other people and didn’t attack them, but if I was around the person I was furious at it’s possible it could of been different. I was a massive danger to myself though. If I were you, I’d leave town and let him calm down.

Good luck and sorry you must go through such a horrible situation. :frowning:


#3

I’m not trying to be rude or insensitive but you know him better than us. I used to blame my family too but I didn’t feel violent towards them, just a lot of arguing. But here’s three factors that I have read multiple places that may be predictors of violence in someone who has schizophrenia. 1) Not being on medication or not being treated for his schizophrenia. 2) If the person was prone to violence before he got sick. 3) If the person is abusing drugs or alcohol. These three factors raise the chances of somebody getting violent.

Oh, yeah, it is actually rarer for a schizophrenic to get violent towards total strangers. If there’s violence it usually directed at the people he knows, like friends and family. I don’t have any advice but yeah, he might take out his anger on your mom or sister if they’re not careful. But who can say for sure? Good luck in your situation. Sometimes it may take years and years to have a happy outcome.


#4

Thank you so much,

Actually I don’t fell like I know my son at all. As for the 3 factors he’s def got 2. Off meds and drinking possibly drugs.
I’m just worried about my family. I can leave for summer I could also get a restraining order.

I’m so disappointed he did well on meds for 6 years. The reason he went off was weight gain. I know he will come back to us at some point but it’s sad right now.

Thanks for the input you have no idea how much it helps


#5

Just act peaceful not contentious, I can sense hostility. Remember no police just better working things out, be calm and if that doesn’t work or he does not improve then reschedule spot it may be you that needs meds and your son also since it runs in the family


#6

Strongly recommend at least some exposure to the basic literature of Co-Dependents Anonymous to see if any of the described “Patterns and Characteristics” fit for the two of you. If so, I’d get with a psychotherapist who understands both co-dependence and sz to see what he or she suggests.

As parents who learned to parent from our own parents in culture that’s not altogether “all together,” we may have said or done things that seemed perfectly natural or normal (often because it’s how we were raised) that were actually invasive or critical, from the p.o.v. of the ultra-sensitive sz pt.

Very often, the stuff that’s been swept under the rug for years can be cleaned up pretty quickly… but almost always with professional help.


#7

What 77nick77 about risk factors is right. When you combine those things you end up with someone who is far more dangerous than the average person, even though sz people are generally less dangerous than the average population. I wouldn’t mess around if you think he could actually be a danger, have him hospitalized against his will. A good friend of mine had a son in that situation. A super nice loving family. He went home to kill his parents one day, and succeeded in killing his father. Another friend of mine had an artist friend that decided to see what would happen if he went off his meds. He went home and killed his mother. There’s another girl on here that just got the crap beat out of her by her boyfriend. So if you do think he could be dangerous, don’t wait. If he does qualify as being a danger to others, you need to have specific and precise arguments. What specifically did he do or say that made you fear for your safety? Did you think he would follow through on his threats, the answer to that question should be yes, if you think he’s dangerous. If you leave there is no telling if he will remain focused on you, switch to another family member, on someone else in society. The longer and deeper his relapse goes, the more risk there is that he’ll be harder to treat, more med resistant and unable to come back to his former level of functioning.
I hope things take a turn for the better for you guys soon.


#8

Sorry it took so long to reply to you all. Things have been somewhat stressful. My son is still out hospital. He came by my house to get his things accompanied
by a police car. As far as I know he is sleeping out doors.I saw him wandering around town. One of my other sons spoke to him, he is still angry with me. He is now
also accusing other family members of being criminals etc. He said he wants nothing to do with any of us and is putting restraining orders on the whole family. (which is ok)

I definitely understand the codependent thing, I know I have been in the past. I think of my son as ill not bad. If he had cancer I would take care of him. This is just a very complicated
illness. Right now no one seems to be able to reason with him. I really don’t want to see him end up in jail. or worse. He is coherent you can talk to him. He admits to hearing voices, and
seeing “visions” but he says that doesn’t mean he needs medication. He gets very angry if anyone suggests it. So we are leaving him alone.Getting a RO I just pray for safety. We have exhausted all
of our emotional and financial resources on treatment etc. He has a big and caring family. Other family members also suffer from the same diagnosis and are doing well they have offered
him their support as well. He doesn’t want it right now.

I have decided to stay where I am right now. I really need to work and I can’t live in fear. I am taking it day by day and hoping for the best. But I will be careful.
Thank you all this forum has been so supportive.

T42


#9

Trust your gut–you are doing the right thing.