Well it really escalated!


#1

A lot has been happening. Early Thursday morning he jumped out of bed and started in a panic calling my name and that he couldn’t find me and to come and get him that he was scared. I flew out of bed and tried to calm him down. Then he ran outside in the snow and knelt down and started praying. After 10 minutes or so he came in and knelt inside and he wouldn’t open his eyes because if he did he said he would be in hell. I thought he had calmed down and he got off the couch a little while later and banged something. All this at 3-4am. Then it went out of control. He picked up the kitchen chair and smashed it into the kitchen window. Tore off the toilet seat, flipped couches and tore off closet doors. I freaked. I had to call police and explained that he was ill.

As of then he’s been admitted to the hospital…but for how long? This is a repeat from this past June but worse

Somehow they managed to get him to take risperdal. How much? He thought that if he took It he could leave. It hurts me so much to see him like this. Oh and I called his brother early that morning and no one called or checked on things. I called his sister and they didn’t even li know. I had to call the landlord so they could take care of the window. I was so afraid for him and I’m worried too. I know who is going to be the blame and it doesn’t matter but it sure hurts like crazy.


#2

I know how much it hurts, and I understand it can be scary too. When my son was very sick, I never was around him without my phone and car keys on my person.

I hope the hospital will now recognize his need for longer treatment and court-mandate a longer stay. Typically the shortest stay will be 72 hours. However, it has been my experience that - the weekends don’t count! So if it is the same where you live, it could potentially be longer. At that time, if the treatment team thinks he requires longer treatment, they can go to court to obtain a longer admission.

The family won’t know unless he requests them to be contacted. Otherwise, the hospital will “protect his privacy” and tell nobody anything.

I wish you a calm weekend, and the chance to regroup, bring some order back into your situation, and think about what would be the best next step.


#3

I’m sorry you went through this and I hope he gets treatment.

Your pain is very real and I hope you have some comfort and that you can rest.


#4

I live New York. I dont know anything. I can’t stand being left In the dark. The nurse told me that he saw the pdoc this morning period. Went I went there I was fooling myself. He had asked me to bring him some of his food that he likes, so I did. I brought something for myself too and I was hoping to have lunch with him. Well…visisting hours start at 2pm. He was sitting by the courtesy phone and he couldn’t figure it out. So upsetting to see him in that state. He used to be able to do so many technical things, now can’t operate a phone! He somehow called his brother and told him that we are divorced. The staff told me to come back. Ugh. They told me that he was still trying to get out and that they had to call security. When I left he was at the wrong door talking to himself and at the door. It was extremly upsetting. When I went back I didnt know what had happened. I walked in and first thing he told me was look what they did to his arm. It had a bruise and a bump. Then he said that my phone was his and he tried to get it. The nurse heard him and told him no and the bump and bruise was from him pulling his arm away during a blood draw. They told me I should go because he has been so unsteady all day.
He told me that his feet were cold and wanted my shoes. They dont fit him anyway so I dont want him to be more uncomfortable so I brought up his slippers and went 1 more time on my way to the store and i was hopng that he was a little more calm. They gave him a medicine what???
Risperdal or a sleeping pill I dont know. He was asleep when I got there so I left the slippers which he can not have right now because he is on the escape list
I know he is In the place he really needs to be and at the same time i miss him so no still worry about him!!! I’m beyond exhausted physically and mentally and I am trying to keep myself busy. I go into a store and I am flooded with thoughts of all the times we went there togethe


#5

You must be strong for him and for yourself. He is not going to get better without medication. He is in the right place, and yes, his behavior is odd. It’s been odd a long time. The odder he acts in front of the staff, the better his chances of getting the proper medication.

My daughter is in the hospital right now, too. Today, I ok’d her to be injected against her will with a 30 day dose of Haldol. I know the side effects, I am scared she will be mad at me when released, but I KNOW that this is her best chance of achieving some sort of sanity. I hope to keep her force medicated for at least six months. I will NOT push for a fast trial or dropping of her charges, as this is my ONE chance in almost 3 years to push her back to sanity through “the system”.

@Laz you are his best chance to get him medicated. It feels terrible, awful, to force this on someone you love. BUT as you know by now, he isn’t going to get better without meds.

Be strong, be kind, but be sure that he is in the best place to get over his hallucinations and delusions and that it might take hospitalization over and over to get the right result and the right meds. I am no longer wishy washy in my own head about forcing treatment when needed. I should have applied to the courts myself a year ago to get my daughter forced into treatment, I didn’t, I was scared and wishy washy then. Not any more.

It is oh so very hard, but needed for him to be where he is. I am with you in spirit. We want the best for our loved ones, and no one else is going to do it. You did the right thing to call the police.


#6

This is a heartbreaking situation and my thoughts are with you . It is very early days in his treatment and each day you will start seeing a positive change . My son has just come out of hospital today he went in and could not focus and was lost to his world of thoughts . They started him on respidol tablets and then he gas agreed to the injection so slowly he is coming back to us .I was so against medication and both of us have fought the system for 5 years but now I know the medication brings my son back and so he needs it to have any chance of a life . We went to the movies last night . The trauma is fading …hang in there


#7

I called up there today and his nurse told me that he told them to give ME no information. Visiting hours are at2pm. They told me he did not say that I couldn’t visit.


#8

Lax this happened to me many times with my son . Take the time to get some rest and space for you as very soon your loved one will ask you to visit …my thoughts are with you


#9

I went up around 2 pm and they buzzed me in. I walked down to his room and his door was closed. I knocked softly and opened the door a little and he was laying down. I closed the door quietly and started down the hallway. I heard a door close and i turned and it was is door. I asked if I could come in…no reply. I asked if he wanted me to leave. No reply. He got up…went to the bathroom then sat in a recliner down the hall. He would not talk to me or even look at me
I didnt want him to get upset so I said that I would leave.
I left and his brother called me and he told me that Jerry wants his sister to bring him some clean clothes. I have the keys. He left them outside when he was taken. I am glad that I did his laundry today. He needed clean clothes. I went back to the apartment, grabbed a few clothes and back I went. When I got there one of the nurses asked why I was back so soon. I told her that I was just dropping off his clothes. I want to go back before 8pm but everyone is advising me not to and to give it some time.
I sound pathetic and selfish because I know he has to be there but I am truly lost!


#10

I so hope that you are right… he has been very controlling and I doubt a lot now. Made me feel insecure about our relationship. He told his brother that he wants an attorney to divorce me (we are not married) but after all of these years same, and to get out of the hospital and get rid of the apartment. I dont know what to think.


#11

This is the illness talking try not to take it personally. My son was terrible and hurtful to me as I am the closest to him . Try and trust the process and visit your partner daily and tell him you love him then leave and have some time for you . This is a long road of ups and downs . Looking back the hospital stays for my son were the time of small positive changes in the right direction . I hope they keep your loved one long enough in the hospital so the treatment works . Please take some time to calm your mind and get your strength back this illness can effect loved ones in very bad ways so you have to get yourself well if you can take a few days away that would help thinking of you


#12

He is safe right now in the hospital. It is time to take some time for yourself to de-stress. It is natural to be upset, but don’t let the upset take you over.


#13

Laz,
my son does the same thing everytime he gets admitted to hospital. he does not give me consent to check his medical record. the reason is because he knows that I would tell the medical staff all his prior episodes and that he is non-compliant on medicine. I get used to his pattern and I feel stronger in dealing with his illness
After he gets well, he would starts communicating with me. he is now in a locked facility and getting little better and hope he will keep improving as he has been the shot for several months now.
I have tried leaving without medicine and I have been through hell trying to search for him on Airports and on streets.
Medicine is the only way I see that my son can be saved in the long run.

Do not weaken. Stay strong. it will take sometimes to get the right dose of medicine or Combination of medicine working together but it is sure a better way than being sick and Homeless.

Wish you continuous strength and tolerance during this Holiday season.


#14

a note: In terms of medicine. Some people of with Schiz may need anti psychotic medicine and moody stabilizer and/or Anti-anxiety medicine. The medicine team should be trying different meds until someone gets stable.


#15

I’m trying…I dont know what they are doing for him there. I don’t know anything. I saw him and he told me that all of this was my fault. I feel partly responsible because I knew he has been all over the board. Last Wednesday ne called me and wanted to move out. I told him I would on Thursday. He must have felt trapped and he snapped. I wasn’t afraid for myself but he scared me so much for him and how full of rage he was. Sorry for my grammar. It’s late and I can’t even think anymore.


#16

It is heartbreaking when they blame you . My son blamed me and his dad for years and we felt the guilt and both had our own breakdown . Five years on I understand it’s the illness and no one is to blame .Dont focus on what your loved ones says focus on any new improvements in him . He will blame the world until he gets some insight and starts to feel better . You breath sleep eat and go to places that are uplifting sending you strength


#17

So very sorry. Please try to get him on Clozapine
It’s a fight bit it really saved my grandson life


#18

Laz,
they are helping him. Trust in medical treatment team.
Keep checking to see if he changes his mind and give you consent to talk to his medical team.
it can take long time to stabilize someone. they have to try different medicine.
but stay on the top of it. keep trying to check with medical staff
in the mean time, take advantage of the peace time you have on hand and enjoy yourself a little.
patience is a virtue!


#19

Faith1 is right
Dont focus on what your loved ones says. focus on any new improvements in him .
He will blame the world until he gets some insight and starts to feel better .
usually when they are blaming other for their issues, that mean they have poor insight and they are recognizing that they are mentally sick…

he will get better with time. I have been going through this for more than 3 years and cost me anxiety, time and money.
Do not fall into the Trap and believe what he says to you. If he is making poor decision in his life and tlaking nonsense, do not agree with him in your heart.
you may try to talk nicely and buy time until he takes enough of his medicine and gets better.

you can tell that he talking nonsense and if he is delusional.
my son was telling like 2 months ago that the medical staff are planning to have an operation on him and take away his liver and that people in the facility want to poison him and are hearing his thoughts.
Now, we had increase his shot dose and he is better… Still trying to stabilize him!!

there is no magic pill. it is process that take time and the love on must stay on prescribed medicine , otherwise he would have relapses and get sick again and you start again from square one.

Medicine Compliance is important. Believe me.


#20

Well he has been hospitalized for 1 week today. I believe that they have him no choice when he was in psych ed. After that…I seriously doubt I get he is on any meds. I was in the room today visiting and he refused medd when they came in stating that he wants an attorney. Ugh! His mood swings are so darn drastic and I just don’t know. He left 30 days notice and bnb is supposed to move out by Jan 4th. I dont know of the property manager will extend it after the damage that he did. He doesn’t remember most of it and I want to fix as much as I can before he is released so it doesn’t trigger another episode.