My Mum was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and after many suicide attempts succeeded.
We have been aware of our daughter having issues for a number of years, she is now 20. We sent her to a private Psychologist who said she was more than he could deal with. The health care system here is over taxed. and they labelled her as narcissistic and attention seeking to explain away the self harm…cutting and bulimia, which made no sense as she hid it. She simply did not want to comply with the medications or participate in the therapy. They told us not to try to stop her cutting because it helped her not do worse things.
I won’t describe the injuries or the trips to emergency…but they’d stitch her up and send her home. My beautiful girl, is scarred beyond belief.
Last month, after two, what she refers to as “practises at dying” in a week, which involved surgery to put her together, we refused to let her come home. We told them that if she was safe, put her on the street and that if she dies we will be going to 'Current Affaii’r blah blah blah…She was formed and has been in a psychiatric unit for a month.
She believes the universe is unravelling and that she is an angel (I should be able to see her wings if I looked more carefully), She sees the world disappearing and has massive panic attacks as the ground vanishes before her eyes. She thinks it’s her job to stop time from unwinding and that if she dies she will come back in the past and be able to fix things. She has not been formally diagnoses with “sz”.
Now that she has been ‘formed’ they have made her comply with medications. (anti psychotics, anti anxiety and anti depressants) It’s been a month and the above was what she told me yesterday. She is vegan and is being fed lettuce and steamed vegetables so I go in everyday and bring her some real nourishment. I feel like I am visiting a criminal on death row and it’s only a matter of time and I will find her like I found my mum.
I think I can’t cry anymore but everyday I do. This is beyond my worst nightmare.
I need some hope…how do I find it…how do I help her live?