What do I do when my mom starts bawling because she’s so tired of life and tells me she’s forcing herself to stay alive because I need her? That makes me feel like I’m causing her pain. but I can’t say that, cuz it’s cause HER further pain. What kind of mother would put that on her autistic son? one in great pain, I guess. she asks why her, and i ask why me. Oh, and she’s diabetic, and always has a plan to kill herself and/or others with her f*cking insulin. She has told me several times “all it takes is one injection and I’ll just fall asleep and never wake up”. she has said it about herself, her boyfriend, and me. she was telling me that her boyfriend went through her browser history (which she was upset and distracted by) but eventually got to her main point that she had been looking up old boyfriends and didn’t remember it, so she thinks she might do something. she’s afraid to go into the hospital because she has been abused in there before, and also because she never knows when they’ll let her out. She seems to ignore me when I tell her it’s fine and she’ll be fine. What do I do? I feel like it’s a cache 22- I’m damned if I do, and damned if I don’t.
I am sorry to hear about your struggles with your mother, I can imagine how difficult this is for you and her boyfriend. Safety is important. If your mother is trying to harm herself and others (you and/or her boyfriend), please call 911. She might be angry initially but she is beyond the help you can give.
I’m sorry this is happening. The thing to remember is that it is the illness and not your mom. First things first get a lock for your door hopefully you can sleep without fearing the worst. Start researching the mental health care in your area and see if there’s an active NAMI group for support.
This is a great group for online support and you. If you feel unsafe, document everything and get a MIW. (Mental inquest warrant) That is the safest way to get her help. See if they have a CIT (crisis in training) officer. I wish you the best and don’t forget to care for yourself also.
I am sorry for your situation. My adult daughter has both moderate autism and schizophrenia. You are already dealing with so much, having autism, and I commend you for being there for your mother. Neither of you chose this situation, and it sounds like your mother is in great need of more intensive care than you can provide. Do you have clearance to speak with her medical and psychiatric care givers? No matter how much she protests or argues, they must be informed, and now. You do not have to and should not attempt to handle this on your own. Please, do this for her as well as well as for yourself. This is urgent! You asked how you can deal with your mom when she gets this way. The answer is, you get her the help she needs. No matter how difficult she may make it, this is absolutely what she needs. I truly hope you will do this, and let me know how both of you are soon, okay?