My older brother has schizophrenia and struggles with drug addiction. 15 years ago he picked up crack cocaine and has been on a downward spiral since. He was living in an assistant living facility but got banned from it for filling his room with garbage and other junk and ended up homeless. He has problems handling his money that he receives from social security, so I got adult protective services to handle his social security to pay for a hotel room for him. But he had to have a roommate, and the habit of bringing garbage in the room caused problems, and my brother claimed the roommate was always drunk and yelling at him, and wouldn’t allow him to enter the room. I tried to get his worker to get him a single room, but she said they won’t give him one because he brings too much garbage in the room, and he must have a roommate. He refuses to go back. And to complicate things the phone I bought him was stolen by someone and I live 2 and a half hours away from him so now I have no way to communicate with him or go find him because my car broke down the same week it got stolen. I bought him a tracfone, I might rent a car next week when I’m off from work to go try and find him to bring it to him. I don’t know where to turn for help and got a lot on my plate. I also have problems with my mental health, I’ve had delusions in the past and was diagnosed schizo affective. I work full-time and study part-time trying to finish a bachelor’s degree I never finished when younger because of my mental health. I live with my girlfriend and trying keep a healthy relationship with her and improve my relationships with the rest of my family that suffered because of my mental health, which caused me to lose most my friends. I hope I can get the phone to my brother soon, and keep up a line of communication to him so I can maybe he will start to make better choices for for himself. I feel his isolation is a major problem.
First of all, welcome to the forum @fungo_velenoso. I am very sorry for the situation you and your brother are in. It is very difficult to say the least.
My, now adult son (40) was once homeless when he was 21, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia also and it took me a long while, but I eventually moved him in with me, became his legal guardian, and basically took charge of his life and his medical, financial and living situations entirely. Today he is very stable, most of his symptoms aren’t evident any longer and we get along fine as roommates. I remain his guardian, although I’ve considered rescinding it because he is now so compliant and cooperative. Anyway, I say this not because it is my advice to you, each schizophrenic person and each person that cares for them has their own set of circumstances to consider.
From my vantage point it seems to me that your brother could definitely benefit from a legal guardian. It doesn’t have to be you; the probate court can assign a legal guardian themselves. The job of that guardian would be to secure housing and medical care for your brother and to monitor him and his progress and to manage his finances for him. Guardianship processes vary from state to state I believe, you could contact your local probate court and ask what the process entails. Perhaps you could get the process started. I also would advise that you try to access NAMI’s resources. (National Alliance on Mental Illness) They are a wealth of resources and information that can assist along the way. The Family-to-Family course they offer is phenomenal for educating caretakers on mental illness and caretaking, it also offers a network of other people who may be going through what you are. Your brother’s tendency to hoard trash and the other chaotic way he is living is not his intention. It is the illness; he can’t control it without help and treatment. A guardian will see that this happens, or that is their assignment by the court. It is a start and may end up really helping your brother. It takes time though and patience. I hope this helps in some small way. Your brother is lucky that he has your love. That counts for a lot, even if he may not be completely aware of it all the time. Never forget that you have to put yourself and your mental health first and then your brother second. You can’t help him if you’re not okay yourself. If you have health insurance and it allows for therapy of any kind, I would sign up, a therapist can really help navigating and balancing caring for another family member with mental illness and caring for yourself. (It helped me a lot) Take care and I hope things improve for your brother. NAMI HelpLine | NAMI
I’m so sorry this is happening right now, I agree if you can get a legal guardian for your brother would be good . I’m trying to figure this out for my own sibling as well who has schizo -affective disorder bi- polar type .
I want to also say to take of yourself first you won’t be any help to brother if your unwell. I’m glad you are doing well and keeping your studies and relationships
Its difficult when someone is on the streets with no line of communication ,when my sibling was doing this I tried to keep contact with the shelters and charity food places in the area where he might be so I would call and ask if he was staying there or if he had shown up for a meal .
Sometimes they would know . what about his social worker do they know where he’s at ?
Thank you for sharing here! hoping the best possible outcome for you and yours
Caring for another with severe mental disease, who doesn’t want or appreciate the help, can be next to impossible. In fact, it can completely break the caregiver. I know that from experience: my own daughter’s past history of illness. Thankfully, the court system helped her become stabilized on an anti-psychotic that worked for her, when I was near the end of my rope, and the last few years she has lived with me in peace. But she has been on the medicine, getting gradually better, since 2019. Before that, life was stressful to the highest degree trying to help her.
Most people (not all) who become compliant with living requirements like cleanliness and medication are first stabilized on medication, and are not additionally self medicating with alcohol or drugs. You must care for yourself and your own mental and physical health as first priority.
NAMI has support groups that can help you. Al-Anon has support groups that can help you. Perhaps the court system or a social worker can help your brother: perhaps not. Please take care of yourself.
First, I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. It’s so difficult trying to help someone that doesn’t want to be helped right now. I’m dealing with the same thing with my sibling and some days just get to you. Like everyone else stated, please take care of your own mental health first, otherwise you’ll be no good to your sibling or anyone else. Will be praying that your brother is safe and that he will be open to help immediately.