My daughter voiced this to me today: that she is not as good as her brothers or how she used to be. She also voiced that she is worried about what will happen to her when I “pass”. This is the first time she has been able to state such worries. I tried to reassure her with loving words, I must try to only be positive with her and embrace who she is now. Wow, such worries she has lived with and been unable to state until after this hospitalization/medication.
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This brings tears to my eyes! As hard as I know this is for you (for many of us), I am happy for this step to a better future for your daughter! Please keep us posted as you have time! Take care of yourself in this journey, too.
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I have been told that persons with SZ can be amazingly resilient. So while your son says that he is not eating, he will likely not starve. This is the point at which you possibly have leverage to get him help. We will always listen, and care!!
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My daughter has continued to do well since her release from jail/hospital. Almost all symptoms abated for about 3 weeks. She was social, happy, contributive and talkative. She still is, … however, the psychosis is creeping back in: she is in her room talking to her voices, I can hear it down the hall to the living-room.
Tomorrow is her first appointment with the local clinic psychiatrist, and she should get her 2nd 30-day Haldol shot while there. I wanted to drive her to her appointment, but she says she will ride her bicycle to and from. I think she means to comply, but I have no idea if she will follow through.
She was supposed to do her weekly check in with the sheriff’s department today, and didn’t call in, even after I called to remind her and tell her they were closing soon. She called 1.5 hours later, and of course check-in was closed. I have no idea if the sheriffs will come to re-arrest her or not after missing her supervised ROR call.
I wish she had some insight into her illness, but she doesn’t, so she really doesn’t understand what all “the fuss” is about.
We are going to go play pool tomorrow night if she follows through on her appointment (her chosen activity) and I told her that if she does everything she is supposed to do for the court case, including the follow up appointments and shots, that maybe I would pay insurance for her to drive my car again (as she REALLY wants to drive), however, I have regrets about that conversation as I’m not sure I ever really want her to drive again. We will have to see.
Leverage, I love this! I know this is SO hard, but I am hopeful, that given time, your daughter WILL become med-compliant and be able to do the things she wants to do in a way that is safe and meaningful!! And that you will have many more sweet times together. Hang on to the boundaries you have created, and tweak them if necessary (for her ultimate good, and yours), but don’t give in to your feelings of sympathy or you will no longer be believable. I, too, would love to help our son out and see him driving a vehicle again, but we are not anywhere close to that happening. I’ve just mentioned it as a possibility someday to give him hope, without any timeline (and without even a stated goal, at this point).
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I really appreciate your hopefulness @hope4us , it helps me to be more hopeful. This past month was THE best our household has had in almost 3 years now. The sweet times were so needed for my heart and soul and will carry me through future worry. I really, really love your support and that of everyone on this site. Wishing everyone more sweet moments with your loved ones.
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I hope your daughter follows through today 
Thinking of you both . If today goes to plan that game of pool will be the best game ever . If it doesn’t go to plan well as I say we are all experts at this so you will figure out the next step sending best wishes
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Wishing you good luck today, Oldladyblue. Fingers crossed.
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I am so happy for you. We had two years of bliss when my son was on court ordered medication. We moved and he stopped his Meds almost a year ago. He’s been psychotic for about 4 months. Today is a brief reprieve in our chaos. He asked me to go downtown for a walk with his dog and go to my favorite cupcake shop. It’s been a year since we’ve done anything like that as he isolates himself, consumed by paranoia. Yet he has brief moments like this. I treasure the invite even if the walk is derailed. Recognizing tiny moments of hope helps me get through til tomorrow.
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Oh Elsa, how nice that he had such a beautiful request for you during his short reprieve from his isolation. A walk and cupcakes! I do understand how important those moments are. Those golden moments give such hope for the future. Your memories of the two years of bliss are probably a great treasure during the hard times.
I guess that my daughter can now be considered as a medicated person, she took her 2nd shot, and is soooo much different than on any prior medication or while unmedicated these past 2.5 years. This forum has helped me to use the knowledge I’ve gained to navigate the legal system / Baker Act system / HIPPA system to get to this result. All the pieces came together in society and in my head to be able to help her.
Thank you to everyone who posted or messaged to me in the last 3/4’s year since I joined. Your stories about yourself, your loved one, etc. are so valuable. I felt so guilty in the beginning trying to understand this illness. Our journey through calling police, Baker Acts, “tough love”, losing my temper, making loads of mistakes, missing persons reports, arrests, and now court ordered meds has been an emotional roller coaster. My doubts about medicine however, are over. The benefits of this (correct) injection far outweigh any negatives to me.
Of course, our case is different than anyone else’s, and I don’t presume to know how to help anyone else beyond kind advice or information. Each journey is so very different. I am just very happy and very relieved right now at how things have worked out for my daughter and myself. The house is quiet, she smiles a lot, and this new normal is something we can easily live with.
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We are now one step closer to getting my daughter the help she needs in this area… we finally got a list of psychiatrists from her doctor. We showed this list to her therapist yesterday who gave us some good questions to ask when we are making a decision to select a psychiatrist. She (the therapist) strongly suggested to look for one experienced working with adolescents even though my daughter will be 18 soon. The therapist also said to ask about what mental health issues they work with. Also to ask if they will allow us to continue to see our current therapist or if they require to use their therapists. But one step closer to getting the official diagnosis and medications she may need.
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Your update is so encouraging for you AND I expect, for others!! This brings tears of sweet joy to my eyes! I see a message here that in learning all we can, and being relentless to do what we can (and not feel guilty about what we can’t do), doing what we can to take care of ourselves in the midst of this, there IS hope for a meaningful recovery even while living with SMI.
Our son is doing well (an incredible turnaround) on Clozapine, but I realize I can’t stop here and that the next step is helping him see the need for medication (I’m not convinced he would continue if he was not in a supportive setting where being treatment-compliant is required), while he also works on re-building his life. He has started meeting with a counselor and this is ultimately, where our hope lies. There is hope, too, that the medication itself will help the person gain insight into the actuality of his illness and the need for medication.
Rest when you can and enjoy what you have! Yea for our loved ones!
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Thanks for your kind words and I am glad that your son is doing well too, and that you won’t stop but will continue to help him re-build a life.
I was soooooo hopeless before Thanksgiving and could never have predicted the chain of events for my daughter. You worded the message well, it is a message of hope through what we CAN do for our loved ones.
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I’m so happy for you and your daughter. I know how good this must feel
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Yes, Margi, thank you so much. You are correct and I appreciate your good thoughts for us. I just posted on the “Is anyone happy” thread because I feel incredibly good tonight: my house is calm, my daughter is stable… wow.
How is your son? I am hoping things are turning around for him and you.
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Always take the good days as they come!
Over the years I have gone from being angry to acceptance that this is the life my son has. Oddly I have found the more I accept who he is the happier he is. I guess in the middle of the chaos we sometimes forget we are still mom and they in all the strangeness still need to know we appreciate who they are.
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I 'm starting to think I made a big mistake by putting my son in the hospital for the 4th time. The doctoris not very compatonet the hospital is not a nice place. He says he rather be dead then living with the injection. Says I have taken away his life and happiness. I am feeling so sad.
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Hey Margi,
Sorry to hear you are struggling. If I may ask, you mentioned this is the 4th time you son has been admitted, how we’re the other 3 hospital visits?
This must be very hard for you and your son.
Take care, AnnieNorCal
My husband and I went to the justice of the peace to have the police pick up my son and take him to the hospital but this time the hospital sent him to a psychiatric hospital this is not a nice place the first thing they said that they would report his illness then he would have his drivers license taken from him. He never had a problem driving he would never forgive us for that.