It seems to be working very well.
How is your wife doing?
Hi guys⌠long thread, hard to get down here!
My ex husband was on clozapine since young age, with absolutely âfull insightâ. He was Paranoid Type, heard voices. They told him to âdoâ things. Often violent. Killing me was a big one. As such, heâd be able to ask me on most occasions if Iâd said something or if anybody else was in the house, know that it was time to take a pill if I answered âNo hun, just us.â Heâd take his meds. (Asked him once if he ever acted on what they told him to do. He said yes. I asked if the voices stopped when he actually did what they said. His answer: yes. I was startled. And horrified. Note: he could be and was severely violent during episodes)
Ten years later we dissolved the relationship amicably.)
He never struggled with weight gain. Wether that was due to constant physical activity or forgetting to eat, or on occasion drugs [I always attributed his severest outbursts to unknown drugs, thatâs me in denial perhaps, at the time, of the severity of his illness].
Years later I ended up with my current partner of ten years, who has ZERO Insight, doesnât need help, is textbook Disorganized SZ Likely SA, suffers severe delusions. No treatment. No meds. Itâs why Iâm here. (Love you guys!)
In my years personally observing through work and in my own research to help my loved ones, as you all have done over years, it seemed Seroquel was helpful for many, with few side effects, and could be taken not every day but only âas neededâ to manage episodes in people of already higher functioning, sometimes combined as a âbreakthroughâ for other first generation APâs prescribed on a daily regimen.
I am not a doctor. Every case is different, every person is different.
Inform and educate yourselves as much as possible as you can.
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My son is a lot like yours. Medications he claims are a way to make him sleep so the government can take control of him. He will get his monthly injection however which he claims is for someone else who he takes care of. He has several voices that are real people to him and freely communicates with them so Iâm aware of which one Iâm talking to. There is always the evil one who is bent on destruction and wants to harm me. I keep pepper spray on me at all times and yes have sprayed him when he has come after me as I dial 911. Seems there is no end to this madness but I will keep caring for him as long as I can. Iâm 65 and getting tired
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My daughter 30 went into paranoia and psychosis two years ago after a car accident. She had stopped taking medication sometime earlier but had been doing extremely well nonetheless. She broke off contact with us and we tracked her down through kind people finding us through the internet. Our appearance at her location led to a very aggressive confrontation on her part she called the police and chose to go to jail rather than hospital. In jail she was given a behavioral health evaluation and hospitalized. I had to go before a judge to provide her history of schizophrenia so they could forcibly get her to take drugs. When she eventually left the hospital she was so traumatized by the events that I believe it has had permanent damage to our relationship. I would never âstageâ an incident. If there are serious signs of danger to self or others thatâs a different matter. Police are the wrong people to be dealing with mental health sufferers and being forced to take meds can be experienced as a violation.
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Welcome Erica,
Iâm glad I did not choose to stage an incident. I never felt it was the answer. We took actions when we felt 100% about the decision. People here on the forum had advised me that it was too risky.
I can tell that you have been through a lot! What does his doctor say if he is on an A/P yet still hearing voices and still sometimes violent? How long has he been on the med?
Iâm so sorry for all you and your daughter have been through. Today, there are more CIT officers. If you ever need to call 911for âdanger to self or othersâ, you can ask for a CIT (Crisis Intervention Training) officer. Or some parts of the country have mobile screening units for mental health that you can call.
I fully believe that you can regain the trust of your daughter. There are communication strategies to do that. Many are taught in the NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) 8 week Family to Family Class. They are offered at various times around the countryâŚright now, you can take one via Zoom anywhere. No cost. Mental Health Education | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness
Hello, Im sorry to post here but for whatever reason I can not load the main forum page to create a new topic.
I have a roommate who has SZ and un medicated, she has been staying with me for almost a year now. I have told my story on this site you can view if able to get on the main page. Anyways my question is what defines a âthreatâ to herself or others? In her case she talks about âleaving here and going to heaven with her fatherâ every single day she says this. But for the first time yesterday she said that she wants to run out into traffic and let a car hit her. It has me worried. Would this be enough reason to call and have her taken involuntarily? And what exactly would I tell police dispatch if ever? BTW she lives in a constant state of delusion and sees, hears and smells things that are not there, she believes someone is injecting acid into her neck when she sleeps, she says there are tunnels around her where people can get to her and many many other delusions and hallucinations. She is no longer able to care for herself because of this.
Also, it may sound like Im acting rash to want to have her taken involuntary but I assure you that I have been struggling with this for awhile and I have had to call the police 3 times before. There is absolutely no way her illness will improve unless she get some professional help that I can not provide.
Whoever responds to your call for help will make the decision and their decision can vary from state to state and county to county.
Do you believe she is about to kill herself?
Personally I would tell the dispatch exactly what she said about wanting to run into the street to let a car hit her.
It does sound as though your roommate needs help.
You are concerned and that concerns me and that may concern them as well. Most likely they will at least come and talk with her.
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In my town, a comment like that would be acted on by the police, and they would come and see if she made a sort of comment like that to them. Then, after she said it to them, she would be taken to a nearby psychiatric ward.
If I were you, I would call the police each time she makes a comment that sounds like it could result in self harm or harm to others.
Also, if sheâs been ill for over a year, and no longer can care for herself, in my county she could be ex-parteâd, which means you turn in a document to the court to ask the judge to ask the sheriffs to take her to be involuntarily held and evaluated.
In the past @SzAdmin told me to find the forum by typing in the browser family.schizophrenia.com if I couldnât access the main site schizophrenia.com . Right now, I canât access the main site schizophrenia.com at all (only family.schizophrenia.com)
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Does your town have a crisis hotline? Call them, or call the police and emphasize that you need a wellness check and a CTU-trained officer. In my state, a wellness check will open a case file with adult protective services. My sonâs closest childhood friend (who was SZ) took his own life two months ago. He was not outwardly suicidal. I believe this whole âdirect threatâ standard needs to change. Looking back on this past year, when my loved one was first held involuntarily at hospital, everyone knew he was in profound manic/psychotic episode and lacked insight. Crisis workers were looking for a bed but when a new ER doc came on, he asked him (and then me, in front of him) the âdirect threatâ question. My SO said ânoâ and I was too afraid of him being angry at me to openly disagree, tho I did tell doctors out of his earshot that he had called me in florid psychosis talking about dying and that heâd never see me again. I wish now Iâd said he was a direct threat and needed immediate long-term hospitalization, even tho I knew he wasnât a âdirectâ threat. Over next several months he became more ill and more aggressive and eventually dangerous to himself and others and was arrested and eventually hospitalized, after assaulting me. He has since stabilized and is in treatment, but the damage to our relationship, trust, and his mental and physical health over those months has been tremendous. I wish, too, that I had called in a wellness check on my sonâs friend. His parents didnât want to for fear of similar anger and alienation, and I offered, but they felt he would know I was doing it on their behalf. Once again, we were afraid and paralyzed by stigma and the very few options we have here to get help when people lack insight and wonât consent. I am now of mind that had I had the guts to risk these relationships and just say what needed to be said to get authorities to intervene earlier, a lot of pain and current despair would have been different. In my mind, your roommate is telling you this as a way of letting you know she needs help. Call in a wellness check and say that, yes, you believe sheâs a threat to herself. As one cop told me, âour hands are basically tied until somebodyâs on a bridgeâ unless a friend or family member sounds the alarm. Maybe itâs just smoke right now, but Iâm of mind that you pull the alarm before you see fire.
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@Gennyg134 is making excellent points - I would just like to add what I learned from @oldladyblueâs experience. If you are in the situation of speaking with authorities in your family memberâs presence - tell the authorities the issue using your family memberâs statements - not against them but with and for them.
Example- âMy son says he canât sleep at night because all of his neighbors are yelling abuse at him, he told me the only solution is yelling back at them. Now all of his neighbors are denying they did anything and he says he has to take stronger measuresâ.
Notice the âhe saysâ âhe told meâ âand he says he has toâ
As you can imagine, telling the authorities the situation exactly the way our family members tell us, they feel heard and the authorities can understand the situation. It makes sense to our family members that we would tell the authority these things in front of them because they believe these things.
I âdeliverâ my lines to whatever authority figure calmly - almost as though I am a interpreter for my son - which is exactly what I am doing. We donât want to appear to be the problem - right? The officers are trained to be suspicious of all parties when they are called.
I try to talk with my eyes - not by rolling them or anything like that- I just look steadily and slightly intently at the authority person.
Edited to add - itâs really another use of LEAP.
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I really love this, and I am going to remember it. Itâs a great way to communicate the situation, especially when said calmly. My greatest regret and a common casualty of this illness is that when my SO was so sick it made me so scared and freaked out that it was hard to stay calm myself. Itâs very very difficult to remember that you are âtalkingâ to an illness, not the person you love, when you are in crisis. In my case, during that first hospitalization, I was blind-sided and talking to police while the person I love, who had been my biggest confidant, friend, and supporter, was screaming obscenities at me, telling me he hated me, and that I was Satan, and that he wanted to marry a young Catholic girl and have a Christ child. It was very difficult not to react emotionally and make situation worse. Luckily, I talked to NAMI, took classes, got a coach, went into therapy myself, read about LEAP and went through all that so I now know what I would do/say differently. Itâs so hard. But luckily law enforcement and legislation is beginning to realize how MI is different and when you know what to ask for snd how to communicate, you can get help. They have to hear the right words, tho.
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I love this - its a nutshell of how we work to turn into effective caregivers/life assistants for our family members. Personally, I was trying to be a caregiver-but- what my son needed was a life assistant. It seems as though for each measure of our improvement as caregivers, their lives get better. Yes, there is some cost to ourselves personally. We end up becoming different parents, spouses and children than before scz entered the picture.
Reading Dr E Fuller Torreyâs âSurviving Schizophrenia: A Family Manualâ as a starting point was the recommendation in my Family to Family class. Plus -you can attend NAMI online support groups these days while you wait for a class to start.
And yes, we have to hope we say what it is that they need to hear to help our family member.
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Thank you for replying, These are very difficult issues for me and I literally have no one else to talk to about them. Tonight she was having another âbad nightâ to the point that I needed help. I called the LACDMH Help Line which is the entry point for assessment and evaluation. It was just after midnight when I called and I was able to talk to a person who advised me to call 911 after hearing my issues. She told me to tell 911 dispatch exactly what I told her and officers arrived with in 10 minutes. (6 police cruisers and officers equipped with large bully clubs) I met the lead officer outside and he knew my name because he was the same officer that came to my house for a prior call involving her. I told him I do not want officers to go in all âgun-hoâ and he replied âbut thats what we doâ Thats when I realized there is zero fucks given for people with mental health issues. I told him that will not help her and he also agreed with me, so I asked what options do I have then. He said I can call the MET team to come talk to her during the hours of 8AM to 11PM. I agreed thats what I will do and told the officers to go away. I will follow up with this after I talk to the MET team tomorrow.
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I think you made the decision you felt was needed. Please let us know what you find out from the MET team.
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@gairo501 - try reading this thread from the beginning while you are waiting for people to respond to your posting.
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My son got picked up by the cops and put him in an Adult Behavioral Unit in Denver. Heâs been off meds for over a year. Needless to say it is not working out. I spoke to him for about 2 minutes before he hung up on me. He said that he needed me to move his things out of his apartment today or tomorrow and move them into a storage unit as his lease is up. Where would he go once out of the hospital. Plus I have no way to even get into his apartment. He also asked me if I watched a particular show and he said the girl on the show is his best friend. So thatâs all happening, Hopefully, these folks can get him back on his shot.
I am so sorry DianeR, I know you had hoped he would agree to start taking meds again by choice. Are you able to talk to a social worker there about his apartment situation? If I remember correctly you are several states away from his location.
I donât think he has a social worker yet. I will call in a bit. I am hoping he will stay in the apartment as without it he will be on the streets as far as I know and itâs still cold in CO. I am now 2000 miles away but couldnât do much if I was there. His father is there if he needs in person help. Iâm hoping he will be in the hospital for a while and get back on meds.