I am also saddened by my sons mental illness. To see a young man that once had so much youth, vitality, popularity and confidence become the shell of the young man I remember. The meds keep him sedate but I see the clock ticking away daily. He was diagnosed in 2015 and the meds don’t give him clarity, so many combinations of medication. When he appears every now and then my spirit is high if only for a brief minute.
You have said it all! I too need the sadness sometimes and in looking back or remembering the little child … It does help keep that fire going !!
Lioness - Wanted to share with you a similar situation. My husband called me at work last Dec. saying I needed to take him to the ER as he had a prune stuck in his throat. This was the start of many medical procedures and tests from trying to widen the opening of the esophagus twice (even though both surgeons deemed its size to be normal prior to the procedure). He had a procedure where you drink a dye then take a pill so they can see how the muscles in the esophagus are functioning when swallowing. Anyhow three medical groups later, none of them can determine what is wrong. I think it is psychosomatic relating to our son’s illness. He has been hearing voices since about age 7 1\2 and he’s 18 now. My husband is bipolar. My older son is bipolar. My schzioaffective son has attempted suicide 3 times and the last time, my husband witnessed him carve himself (arms, legs) with a knife. Our house was covered with blood. So my point in sharing this is to say I believe our family members illnesses can take a toll on us in unexpected ways. You with your throat tightening and my husband with an inability to eat for the most part. I hope your problem has alleviated since you posted this. I feel better when I know I am not alone in this. Sending you hugs.