How to deal with my sadness of my sons schizophrenia


I am also saddened by my sons mental illness. To see a young man that once had so much youth, vitality, popularity and confidence become the shell of the young man I remember. The meds keep him sedate but I see the clock ticking away daily. He was diagnosed in 2015 and the meds don’t give him clarity, so many combinations of medication. When he appears every now and then my spirit is high if only for a brief minute.


You have said it all! I too need the sadness sometimes and in looking back or remembering the little child … It does help keep that fire going !!


Lioness - Wanted to share with you a similar situation. My husband called me at work last Dec. saying I needed to take him to the ER as he had a prune stuck in his throat. This was the start of many medical procedures and tests from trying to widen the opening of the esophagus twice (even though both surgeons deemed its size to be normal prior to the procedure). He had a procedure where you drink a dye then take a pill so they can see how the muscles in the esophagus are functioning when swallowing. Anyhow three medical groups later, none of them can determine what is wrong. I think it is psychosomatic relating to our son’s illness. He has been hearing voices since about age 7 1\2 and he’s 18 now. My husband is bipolar. My older son is bipolar. My schzioaffective son has attempted suicide 3 times and the last time, my husband witnessed him carve himself (arms, legs) with a knife. Our house was covered with blood. So my point in sharing this is to say I believe our family members illnesses can take a toll on us in unexpected ways. You with your throat tightening and my husband with an inability to eat for the most part. I hope your problem has alleviated since you posted this. I feel better when I know I am not alone in this. Sending you hugs.


My son was diagnosed almost 6 yrs ago and I am near 60…never give up hope…that’s all we have…hope for a better moment, a better day :green_heart:


A constricting throat has to do with anxiety and of course your son talking about suicide would make you very anxious. Good luck tk you :green_heart:


Even in a new NAMI there should be people to talk to that can help you with your son’s situation. There are many mental illnesses that people come to NAMI support groups for, not just sz or bi-polar, but PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc. Often those with severe MI are in the minority at a NAMI meeting.

Whether your son has been hospitalized or not is not proof of having or not having sz. Hallucinations (voices), delusions (strange beliefs like being paranoid or thinking one is God), and negative symptoms like loss of ability to speak coherently or have any facial emotion are symptoms of sz.

Spice / synthetic marijuana can cause psychosis. I have a friend whose son is still psychotic despite 5 years of p-doc visits and meds and he became psychotic at 17 after smoking synthetic pot.

I hope you find ways to help your son step by step (sometimes one forward and 2 back, then 2 forward and 1 back, then 1 forward, etc…) it is a long road to help someone with severe MI.


I get it. For many years my happiness depended on my son’s happiness. I have realized though that I had the right to a happy life and by my being happy I could influence him to feel a little better perhaps. I will say that it does not work 100% of the time but I find times that I allow myself to enjoy my life. I have so much to be grateful for like when he is doing well and not in the hospital I can take a breath and work on all that is good. Hugs to you AAmark. This disease is so not fair but it is our lives so we have to accept where we are and do our best.


My son has not been hospitalized since 2015…that’s when he started getting the Invega Trinza injection every 3 months… granted, we have to physically go with him to get the shot, but he will not take any form of oral medication. Love him so much… he’s so artistic and intelligent…such a gentle soul… a big sweet teddy bear. I just wish all of these kids with sz could meet other people with sz, my son thinks he is the only one in the entire world with sz. It’s heartbreaking to know that he went from an outgoing confident young man to being an introvert. He’s pretty good about hanging out with his friends, but he gets social anxiety and grocery shopping is really hard for him. So glad we have this forum to meet on. Val


Have you showed him this forum for people with sz? Also there are FB groups.


Have you tried joining NAMI? It is very possible for him to meet others with sz there in a peer group.


Than you for sharing that. That’s exactly what I experienced a couple of weeks ago. I cry alot and pray. I want to help him as best as I can.
I only share with a few of my family members because of fear that he will be judged and looked down upon since they don’t understand Schizophrenia. Honestly I don’t understand it either but taking it day by day and getting myself and our family better informed.
Sparrow my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Sending some sunshine your way.


I’m reading your post and it’s exactly how I feel. Wow I’m so thankful for this forum because I was feeling alone. It’s hard to share with others because they don’t understand. I feel your pain and I also have cried many tears for my son. Thank you for sharing Johnsmom!


This thread is such a comfort to me on sad days.


Yes I can relate to the throat closing when I 'm really stressed for a long time my throat seems to close and I can’t eat at all. This is from the unbearable fear I have for my son😘


We can’t solve all problems but there is hope. I don’t know if you saw it but there are a couple of good videos towards the beginning of this post. I have personally met in the last year+ 4 persons living with SZ (or family member of same) who have some kind of a decent life. There are others that live independently with supportive services. Don’t give up, including if you are trying to get your loved one to be medication-compliant. Seek knowledge and information about ways to help your loved one relentlessly. If you have a bit of time, you can become an advocate for change by getting connected with groups that advocate for serious mental illness issues to learn about medical research, possible new treatments, laws being considered by Congress, etc.


Even though things are going much better for my family, today I was sad for my daughter’s illness. She’s been home all day for the past week with a backache, doing nothing, she wants to see a chiro 2 times a week for 3 months (his recommendation to her which I have agreed to pay for) and I spent 1/2 hour on the phone with him about costs. Ugh. I can’t decide if her pains are real or not. She says she threw her back out helping me in the garden over 10 days ago. If it was the gardening, why did it take 3-4 days to begin hurting, and why isn’t it getting better? This is after her asking me in the kitchen to divorce my husband and move away from the house we own that is paid for. “You make enough money, why don’t we just move?” Ugh.


I am sorry you are dealing with this. My son says similar things. It’s as if he thinks we have unlimited funds. He takes his medication, but still makes a lot of demands and spends so much time negotiating.
I hope your daughter’s back feels better soon and things settle down.:heart:


Thank you @hummingbird. Some days I feel strong, other days, well, not…

I think her back is feeling better. I feel better too. I found an online forum where you can ask doctors questions, and I signed up to ask a psychiatrist if the medication she is on could have a side effect of prolonged backache. I got a quick answer and it was negative, that it probably isn’t her medication. So that made me feel better. I guess I just worry too much, even when there is less to worry about, since she is 6 weeks medicated now.

How does your son negotiate? I think negotiation is a pretty high ability.


I guess negotiating is not the right word. Sometimes he is physically threatening. Right now he is in the hospital so time to re-group.


Sigh, oh gosh. Hospital time is emotionally stressful in a different way. I am lucky that my daughter’s illness has never been too threatening physically, more argumentative on the bad days. The right med has changed things around totally for the better. I hope things can get sorted out for the better for you and your son.