Hi - we got married in January 2017 after dating for three years. Both in our mid-forties and we both have kids from our previous marriages. I knew he had suffered from an LSD induced breakdown several years before we met and that he was on meds and monthly dr visits. He was very open and up front about that early on. One month before we got married he told me he had been having delusions that “they” were trying to do something break us up and ultimately to prevent the wedding from occurring. Anyway he got with his dr and changes med dosage etc and all was well. A few similar incidents have occurred since. He always gets with this dr and gets it under control. I’m worried that I can’t do this. I love him so much. But my patience grows thinner with each occurance. He needs love and compassion in those times and I’m finding myself annoyed rather that wanting to help. Then I feel guilty and selfish for only thinking of myself. I can’t really about this with friends or family. I suppose I should get a therapist. Any advice?
Hi to you Cheesus! Sounds to me like you hit the nail on the head. Therapy for you is a great idea. It will help you sort through all those feelings that you are having so that you can keep yourself healthy during these delusional times. Has your husband been diagnosed with anything specific besides the LSD breakdown? Write down (in a safe place) what you are feeling during these periods. Sometimes that helps me sort through what I’m feeling and serves as a good reminder if you do go for therapy. My only other advice is to seek out someone to talk to about this like a good friend. I kept everything I was going through, bottled up and away from family and friends…for very good reasons but in the end, just made me more isolated and depressed. Even if it’s just one person, it helps to not feel so alone. The others on this forum are great support as well. We have all been there in one form or another. I have and am living through a life with a husband suffering from mixed delusional disorder and an adult son with severe schizophrenia. You are not alone. Hope this helps a little!
We all struggle to provide love and compassion during episodes. The stress of getting married might have triggered an episode. Give him some time to adjust. Would he be open to attending therapy with you and having you take part in his doctor visits?
Being married to someone with sz and delusions is challenging. I was married to my husband who had paranoid delusions for 15 years. He had his first psychotic break after using a LSD- like hulicugen.
My advice to you is to take care of you! It may sound trivial, but I used to find relief from the stress of dealing with his symptoms by taking exercise classes or walking in the evenings after work. It got me out of the house, allowed me to socialise with other women, in addition to the physical benefits.
It’s good that your husband is willing to go to the doctor and take medication. Could you go with him sometimes to share your concerns? Sz is a cyclical disease; there will be ups and downs during recovery.
Thank you! I’m so glad I found this place! I’ve been trying to find a local group therapy but haven’t had any luck. I’ll start looking for my own therapist and go from there. It helps just talking/messaging others in same boat. Thank you again!
Thank you for replying. Yes stress is a huge trigger for him. We have had a very hectic year - his son had a brain tumor and recovered beautifully, my grandmother passed away, and now his mother has been diagnosed with lymphoma. Most of these have been triggers for delusional episodes. It’s so hard for me to understand because I was a single mom for 10 yrs, worked full time and handled stress daily. Have lived through so many stressful events myself and lucky to have come out on every time. I guess I’m lucky in that I handle stress well. Lol and yes I think he would open to my joining in his therapy sessions occasionally. I have his drs contact info but have never called him. His doc tells him to call him whenever he is having an episode so that it doesn’t put a strain on our marriage. My husband says he has never been diagnosed SZ. I don’t know what, if any, diagnosis he has been given. Thank you so much it helps just knowing I’m not alone. ️
Thanks so much for your reply. It helps a lot. Things are great 90% of the time but as you know, that 10-% can be quite overwhelming. I’ll be looking for a therapist this week and hopefully I can find a local group therapy for families. Thank you!!
Thanks Jan! I will look into that. I think it’s time for me to establish contact with his doctor. And yes I do try to take care of me as much as possible thanks again!
Are you wondering if he has scz that you have chosen this forum or its just that the delusional episodes are something familiar for us?
Stress is a typical trigger for our loved ones with scz. Some mom somewhere wrote, “they need to have no stress and that is a pretty hard situation to find” Its not because they aren’t strong people -I think we would all be amazed by how much they have to endure and would admire their strength if we could understand how hard it is.
There is a cartoon somewhere on the internet that shows a female standing under an umbrella. The caption reads:
Do not confuse my bad days as a sign of weakness.
Those are actually the days I am fighting my hardest.
Not really, I have just been unable to find any forums or support groups specific to delusional disorder so this is the closest I could find. I have asked him several times whether he has been diagnosed and he swears he has not. He mentioned that to his dr on last visit too. Still no diagnosis. His dr told him he was going to call me last week to talk with me but he never did. Does that strike you as odd? Sometimes I think he may not have the best dr for his situation but then I don’t know how much he tells his dr either.
If your husband has signed the paper authorizing the doctor to speak with you, you can call his doctor and ask for his diagnosis.
Thank you. I will call his doctor today.