Hi all. I am new to this forum. My husband of one and a half year was diagnosed with schizoaffevtive disorder about 5 years ago.
Fast forward to now…
His condition worsens if there’s a stressful situation and unfortunately the stress at his workplace which he was really excited and enthusiastic about caused him to have a breakdown in February of this year. Our daughter was born last year and hence I think the stress of “providing” and maintaining and being successful at his job took its toll on him. He started smoking weed heavily in Jan and I think that also aggravated his condition. He has now strong delusions, listens to music all the time and thinks all the lyrics apply to him. It is bizarre. He accused me of cheating, would say I’ve an interdimensional boyfriend, says he’s being lied to, and that he’s on a tv show like the movie Truman show. Has said nasty things about his infant daughter etc. he has episodes where he expresses concern for us as a family but that is short lived.
I found some notes he wrote in his jacket where he is talking to a woman telling her how he loves her and how it was always her and that he wants sons with her. This woman being his “God” and what not. I know there’s no one physically it’s all in his head. Acknowledging me and his daughter is too much for him because we remind him of his failure as a husband and as a father, in my opinion. He applied lyrics of songs to himself thinking it’s about him or it’s a sign for him. I am so scared and feel so unsafe.
Right now he is in a different State four hours away he’s spending all our money living in hotels and just driving around because he believes he’s gonna get a job there. I personally don’t believe he has any prospects there I believe he is having a delusional episode and it’s just getting worse. I am praying he comes back home and we can get him help somehow but he’s extremely smart he doesn’t do any bizarre or outrageous thing at home in fear that the EMS would be called on him.
He does text his dad sometimes asking for money or his sister but he doesn’t text me or respond to me. I’ve stopped contacting him now because I believe the more I press him or make my presence known the worse he gets. I am so heartbroken this wasn’t the man that I married. He was such a caring and kind husband. I never once let him feel bad for not having any job. I always said supportive words to him but despite all that his nasty accusations would sometimes cause me to have outbursts. I read I shouldn’t take anything personally but sometimes I couldn’t control myself. I am so mentally exhausted this man is turning me into a very “abused” sort of person. I’m so worried about saying the wrong thing that triggers him.
Please give me any advice that anybody has as to what to do now. I know he needs immediate medical help but his psychiatric team has said that he can either voluntarily choose to be admitted or when he become violent or tried to self harm. Otherwise if he’s quietly sitting and having delusions there’s nothing we can do. It is mind boggling to me.
Any word of advice or experience would be appreciated. I do not want to give up on him in just one year of marriage. Please.