I have shown the forum to my daughter and she said she would show it to him. He tried Facebook, but that didn’t really work out for him.
He would say some kind of inappropriate things. He didn’t get in trouble over it, just didn’t get any responses.
And that made me so sad, too.
As you can see, I’m spacing this out for you. When I looked back at my post I realize exactly what you mean! I would have a hard time reading that big block of words too!
This is different from facebook. You always get an answer to your posts. Or at least 99% of the times. And it is okay to not be well. Everyone goes through not being well stages.
You get support while depressed, manic or delusional. Very often people on here drag you back to reality when you post delusional things.
I also have anxiety and depression on and off and this is probably why I am still grieving so hard almost three years later, but I am finally going to get some help. My son stares at me like that, too, and that nurse who said your boy’s staring was creepy, has no business being a nurse in a mental hospital!
I have that horrible sad and hopeless feeling, too, and we are in a very lonely place. My son says he is happy, but I just don’t know. . . he is on meds which take care of the positive symptoms but does nothing for the negative. I hope your son will stabilize soon.
Oh, yes, I have and I ordered two packets of it, one for me and one for him. I talked to him about it and tried to explain to him about the negative symptoms and all that, but then I realized he maybe didn’t know what I was talking about, like as if I was saying he had a monotone voice and one-word answers, etc., but I didn’t use those words. So I just didn’t know how to explain to him why I wanted him to try it. Do you get what I mean? And of course, he just smiled and said he would try it but when I presented the packet and started showing him how to use it, he suddenly stopped me and said, “Can we just not do that now?” In other words, he wasn’t going to do it at all. I pretty much knew that would happen.
Yes, if he thinks there’s nothing wrong with him or he’s paranoid about being poisoned, that’s a normal response, I suppose. I discussed the stuff yesterday with my son, who has just been sectioned. He is taking APs now, just to get out. He has no intention of continuing with them. But I think they will insist on a depot shot.
I told him this stuff is good for motivation and concentration, and he got interested because he partly wants to get out so he can do a course he has just enrolled on. I also said I am going to take it too.
On feeling you ‘did something wrong’ I think all mothers and a lot of fathers feel that. But so what if you did? What human being never does something wrong? My son had a friend at school who witnessed his father beat his mother half to death. He cracked her skull with a baseball bat. His son doesn’t have any serious mental illness. When my son got sz I combed through every tiny thing I did over twenty-five years. In fact, it was nonsense. Even now, the trust between us is great. I can calm him in psychosis. Sometimes I can even make him recognize a delusion.
Don’t blame yourself and don’t listen to blame. Just focus on keeping your good relationship with your son.
Oh sorry! I just realized you meant a mistake on the board! Not with your son. Anyway, its still all true. It’s not your fault, or mine.
I’m doing that now, for some reason I have been for a few mos now, just really started doing more and more research, digging and digging and remembering certain things, and it’s really gotten to the point that the more I know, the more frightened I become, and depressed and crying all the time, not eating, barely sleeping. In fact, this Friday I have an appointment at the local mental health place to get some counseling for myself. I guess I’m in the grieving stage now? Over the shock and partial denial and hoping the therapy will help me realize it is what it is . . . but I will always be sad about this. So unfair. So cruel.
It’s good that you take care of yourself. This illness is not fair. Not fair to the person becoming ill nor to the people close to him/her.
But don’t get stuck there. Keep going. Keep living. See where you are now and see where you can go. Recovery takes time. A lot of time. But never give up hope. Recovery with therapy and right medicine.
Dear daquilamarguerite, I have been going to a new counselor for a couple years now since my family member was diagnosed. My counselor understands serious mental illness; some don’t. I remember all of the feelings you are having so vividly; feel them all (even if you can just give them five or ten minutes). Try to keep functioning; I went underwater, but I have my own set of MI diagnoses that are more difficult when there is stress.
I read this somewhere (here??): “at first I cried all day, then I cried ten times a day, then I cried five times a day, after awhile I was crying once a day, then some days I wasn’t crying…” It takes a long time.
Everything you are feeling is normal and natural. The acceptance part comes later…
The love is always real, always present.
My family member is my only living child. And I am grateful beyond grateful that he is here.
One thing that helped me in the beginning when I was crying and imagining the worst was when I found out about the Schizophrenia Recovery Movement. This site is essentially part of that movement. But if you google it too, you find some very heartening reading. There is a lot about hope and conveying hope to the person with sz, and how essential that is for recovery.
Omg! At this point in my life, almost everything makes me cry when it relates to my son. Just reading your post now, I am welling up and lump in my throat and now full-on tears! I wish I could help him. Today he asked me if anybody ever gets cured. Sigh . . . I went to my dr today for a routine check-up and as soon as he asked me how I was doing, he realized he had to hand me a box of tissues!
When my fiancé “catches” me crying and asks “What’s wrong?” I just can’t believe it! I mean, what does he think? Same as always, my boy is seriously ill and I am almost “crazy” now too! Dammit!!!
I hope you found a good therapist. By good, I mean someone who truly and compassionately understands Serious Mental Illness. I had to search to find a counselor who really understood how debilitating the illnesses can be. Even some professionals remain unaware.
If I already mentioned this, I apologize. I go to a NAMI family members support group. All of our politics and approaches are very different, but there is the unifying love of our family members and the longing to help.
50% of people recover to the point of “independence.”
You can help; you’re going to find out how to do so from your son, from doctors and other professionals, from people on the forum, from lots of resources you will find.
Some of the best advice I received from a social worker was to drop expectations of job or school (whatever goals I once set for another person). When I did, I was able to see the efforts my family member is making every single day. And I deeply appreciate these efforts.
Also, in a scientific sense, tears carry toxins out of the body! It’s de-tox on many levels.
Thank you. I’m still crying most days. Haven’t pulled a two-dayer for several months. That was the worst! Because I was basically disabled when that happened. I find this forum very helpful. Everyone really does care here, where in the real world away from the web forums and private groups, it seems nobody cares. My son has been forgotten. And I have been pretty much forgotten too.
I’m emotional by nature and have always been. I don’t Cry as often as I used to but I have my days. Yesterday, his insurance company called to ask him a question. She said "and how are you doing"
I almost lost it. Bless her heart.
I find that I need more sleep and it helps me, especially in the winter.
Anyway, its still all true. It’s not your fault, or mine.