Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I don't know how I would do this if I was on my own


#1

My son said something like this to me this morning when he was asking me to wake him up a little earlier for school as he wants more time to wake up. I had started trying to get him up at 7:30 but didn’t accomplish this until after 8. He was wondering how he would get up for school if he lived on his own as he doesn’t wake up to alarms.

I didn’t say much when he told me this just smiled and said: Yes I know.

Small steps in realizing that just because his birth certificate says that he is an adult that he is not self sufficient and is dependent on others to help him reach even his own goals. This is not a bad thing. I consider it a step in what he calls growing up. My heart usually fills with pride when I hear him have these little epiphanies.


#2

Its good your son is making the effort.


#3

That sounds good. I still have to remind myself that I NEED this home, that I would not do well being independent. When the chips are down, I start thinking I want to leave. So, far, so good. I’ve been here ten years. In the beginning, my caseworker had to encourage me to stay. Now, I just encourage myself.


#4

I see many of our children as late bloomers. We know from research that just because someone is 21 years old doesn’t make them a 100% functioning adult. I’ve read that sometimes it takes 27 years for the brain to reach its potential or as my friend Bob from NAMI 40 years.


#5

It’s good that he realizes that and lets you know it. Sounds like he is seeing that it is a team effort!


#6

Wow. That part made me smile. When you take just that little fragment to the sentence and compare it to post of around this time last year on the old forum, this is a very wonderful thing to realize.

The journey is still in progress, but he has come a long way in a short time. It’s all due to the fact that you and your husband never gave up on him.


#7

I think that is key — never giving up on your children. No matter how bad it seems it does get better. I’ve seen very bad days with my daughter and if she didn’t have a good support system such as a caseworker, a good psychiatrist, her partner and me it can get very rough on folks who struggle with mental illness day in and day out. Also educating the population at large about not stigmatizing people with mental illness. Talk about mental illness openly in your family just like any other illness. I have a couple of family members who find it extremely uncomfortable to talk about it — not my immediate family but some of my siblings.

Even though I’ve been stressed out to the max over my daughters mi and there were days I didn’t think I could take another emergency I somehow find the time to take care of myself and best of all I’ve become a better person for it. I have much more empathy towards anyone who suffers and I truly try not to sweat the small stuff.


#8

Also, one more thing – years ago before mental illness hit my family I never would have believed that I could have a very good and close friend who has schizophrenia. One of my dearest friends has sz and we go out and do fun things together and she is so much fun to be with. I appreciate her friendship. There is nothing phony about her.


#9

You are so right. We can never give up and taking care of ourselves is important too.

Just wanted to tell you that I’m enjoying reading your posts here on the forum.