I feel like a liar to my daughter

So! So I asked the counselor if they had to take my daughter of of the invega shot 3 month. She wanted to try Vraylar pills. The pills seem to be letting her get her energy back as they are lowering her dosses of invega. But the voices are perking their little mouths up more. I know she really wants off of the invega but I think it is because once she comes home from the ranch/hospital she plans on going off of them.
I keep reminding her when she comes home she will have to keep taking the pills and her answer is of course I don’t see why I’m taking them in the first place. So I asked today if she could stay on both unless if will make her sick, health wise? She thinks I agree with her about getting of the invega and since they have been lowering the dose I have been noticing the talking. Little internal torment.
I’ve been watching Dr Amadore a lot lately and the tools he teaches are hard to do. I think I will see if I can get in a few classes at NAMI in town. It would be nice to have someone to practice with. I so want to be understanding but its hard not to feel a bit sick to my stomach when she says you really want to know what the voices are saying.
Truthfully between us HELL NO, but she seems so calm after we have a good talk. And very appreciative that we talked. She strait out asked me if I believe her. My answer was I don’t believe you are a liar so yes I believe you. I want her to feel she can talk to me, but I feel so bad when I agree with her doctors behind her back. Anyone else feel that way???

Yes. My 42 yr old daughter hears voices all day, every day. It has been a struggle trying to know the right words to use with her. Sometimes I do say that the voices are coming from inside her brain. She of course says the voices are real. She also thinks she is being monitored by cameras. Her boyfriend is with her 24/7 and is often having to talk her out of leaving; she packs up and says she is going camping, as the voices are telling her that is what she needs to do. She was taking Seroquel but stopped. I am asking her constantly to call a counselor in her area and set up an appointment, but she has not met with the counselor yet. She had an MRI by a neurologist who prescribed the medication.

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Same with my son. The voices came back when he stopped or reduced his meds beyond what was effective. And same with the commanding voices telling him to do things.

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My sister has persistent delusions that she is being stalked everywhere, filmed, zapped with laser beams, and is the subject of a malicious website all about her, created by the neighbours. She discusses it with absolute certainty and is devastated when people don’t believe her. I have learned not to argue with her, so l make comments like “What idiots! They need to get a life!” I also tell her it’s hard to believe what she says is actually happening, though l know she is an honest person. But it’s still hard to listen to!

My sister is certàinly undermedicated and knows how to selectively present herself to medical professionals to minimise their concerns. It upsets me to hear the details of her tragic existence, so l try to change the subject to a lighter topic and get her laughing because she has no sense of humour and is constantly mired in her dark misery. I just want to cheer her up. It’s like I’m the delusional one!

Once when she claimed people were in cars on her street doing surveillance of her, I ran up and down both sides of the street and looked in all the cars. I came back and said, “You can relax. All the cars are empty.” And she was absolutely furious at me for doing that! She so desperately wants to be believed.
It makes for less conflict to tell white lies that make her feel validated. So it’s not really lying, it’s just a strategy to keep the peace.

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So true. Our affected loved ones NEED to be believed. My son is constantly saying this to me … “you don’t believe me…”

Im constantly torn between the logic of explaining schizophrenia and the love of simply listening and finding some way simply to believe.

One time when my son was at an extended treatment facility, he told me about another young man in the program who had ‘really bad schizophrenia’ (my son’s words). I asked my son about this kid’s condition and he shared several of the delusions.

I asked my son directly: “So tell me son, if your buddy thinks there’s a black hole in the floor that will suck him down, how do you deal with it?” I thought he’d say ‘Well, I explain it’s not real… etc’. But he didn’t.

He said, ‘Just say nothing because it’s real to my buddy.’ Wow.

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Thank all of you for replying and making me feel better. I like how all of you have learned to deal with different situations. It affirms to me I’m doing okay. And I am understanding the need for her to be believed by me. My daughter is in a facility right now and she is fairly stable. But she had a new room mate that was new from the hospital that was having bad time and she was not doing well as far as the delusions and my daughter was not handling it well at all. Saying how bad the woman’s schizophrenia is. And when she described it to me I thought how odd she refuses to see the same symptoms in herself and refuses to admit anything is wrong with herself. The roommate and her are friendly now.

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Annab - I think that is so sweet of you to help your sister with her delusions. You are a good sister. It is nice of you to distract her and try to make her laugh. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::heart:

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Just because a voice talks to you doesn’t mean you should listen. Does she know anything at all about the voice? What are its values? Did it complete basic education? Does it believe in God? Is it saved? There are a million voices in the world, even ones with tremendous power but until we know a voice’s credentials and have tested and examined them, no disembodied voice deserves our respect, let alone blind obedience. For all a schizophrenic knows, the voices could actually be demons so why give them any attention at all. Just my opinion.