hi guys, my mom was diagnosed with Schizophrenia a few years ago and she always had medical problems my whole life. but lately ive noticed a pattern in myself, i always am looking for a motherly figure. its usually church leaders i grow attached to and once i feel like im a burden to them i look for someone else without even realizing it. Today my sister accidentally texted me and said stuff about the current “motherly figure” in my life and said things about me being 17 and being ‘friends’ with a 40 year old and how it was weird. but she has been there for me through this whole journey with my mom these past couple years, i do admit i talk about her alot but i just wanted your guys’ opinion if i should try and separate myself from these motherly figures or not. thanks
Absolutely not. Make as many friends (even motherly figures) that you can. My mom retired years ago (now passed). Her own daughters were 1000 miles away. Her neighbor (many years her jr.) had lost her mother a long time ago. She became really good friends with my mom and we called her our adopted sister! I’ve too also had many older women friends in my life. I wish they were still around. I’m looking for more: )
I don’t think there is anything inherently unusual about it. If it is the only kind of relationship you seem able to sustain, or if for any reason you feel anxious about it yourself, you might want to consult a therapist just to talk through it.
Are you sure you are a burden when you move on to the next “mom”? Some of them might feel a little deserted. Lots of mom need someone in their life who helps them out as well.
We all need friends:)