I currently have mild-moderate schizophrenia and am on 3 meds to reduce the symptoms (not
completely gone). I work full-time at an office, and am known as the “happy” girl at work with a
positive attitude. But most people don’t know how much I suffer with schizophrenia. It’s honestly
ruining my marriage with the one person who is intimate with me (my husband) because my reality is distorted. I over-analyze most of the things my husband says or does (mostly minor), then I feel like he is against me, and I become this mean person to him, wanting to divorce him, and accusing of being against me. He is really patient and does not want to leave me, but I just feel so bad after he does his best to explain the reality to me (that he is not against me). I feel like I am fine with most people but with him, I just put him through so much, I feel soo bad, but not when I’m getting defensive (it just feels so real). We do not have any children yet, but I just came here to hear from anyone really, as there are not much people that understand. I spoke to my doctor very briefly about it, and she said she can’t tell if it is my illness or him, but I know it’s my illness because how can I love him so much one day, and then want a divorce within a few hours/day, it’s just a terrible cycle of up and down. Either way, I can’t take any more meds, I am already on 3 of them. Any comments would be great. thanks.
First of all I want to thank you for this post. I am on the opposite side of your challenge. My husband has schizophrenia and I am the care giver. I want to thank you because this really helped me understand a little about what he is going through. I get confused and frustrated because he will do the same thing. He will be fine one minute and the next thing I know he thinks I am the enemy. I do my best to try and help him understand that I’m not the bad guy and that I’m on his side. I know it’s not always easy for him to understand or believe that I’m telling the truth but I try to reason with myself that it’s the illness and not him when he has an episode. I love my husband and I don’t blame him for an illness he can’t control. It’s definitely a challenge at times, but I’m just doing my best to support him, give him kind reminders about taking meds and any information I can find online that will help support us both has made things a little easier to handle. I feel like this site has been a big help to me recently. Anyway. Please don’t give up or be too hard on yourself. The only thing we can all do is just our best. Sending happy thoughts your way.