Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I need help. Badly


#1

My partner has SZ with paranoid delusion as his DX that had he has since was in 21 or so when the first psychosis occurred in university. After stablizing and getting on meds he was fine and remission for years. However, in Feb. he tapered off the meds completely with his PDoc’s approval. Ok. Fine. Started taking vitamin replacements therapies because of issues with that. Other than a couple of issues he has been well as usual until the last several days.
I am overseas at the moment which I am sure didn’t help matters and he was supposed to fly to see me and I go home at the holidays. However, the voice my deceased father told him that he was gay and to break up with me. Which he did via text, phone call. 24 hours later he calls with no memory of it at all. I am doing my best to remain calm, supportive, use easy sentences etc. as I was taught to do. But,also, during this highly agitated phase of the illness he packed up everything of mine and some our things taking them to our rental elsewhere. He still has the cat at home. Then, another 24 hours passes and here we are again. He is refusing to talk to me via phone, email etc The cycle this time is vicious.
I was able to get him to take his meds after he calle his parents informing them he is gay etc. to tell them that he still loves and wants me home. He was lucid at the time. Now, he’s not again.
I am exhausted. I am not due to leave for home for another 10 days as that was soonest I could wrap everything where I am at currently.
His parents do not understand how seriously ill he is right now thinking its only a mild attack. It’s not. It’s really bad. He sound so lost and frightened right now when he talks to me. He has expressed thoughts of self harm to me. I have explained ALL of this to the parents who are closest to him for the moment.

I love him. He needs help desperately. What do I do when the people closest to him are not listening to me?
We do not live in the States either.


#2

Piles of research show that sz pts tend to get “better” when they…

  1. Get a copy of this book and read it and have their families read it, as well.
    http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Schizophrenia-6th-Edition-Family/dp/0062268856

  2. Get properly diagnosed by a board-certified psychopharmacologist who specializes in the psychotic disorders. One can find them at…
    https://psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

  3. Work with that “psychiatrist” (or “p-doc”) to develop a medication formula that stabilizes their symptoms sufficiently so that they can tackle the psychotherapy that will disentangle their thinking.

  4. The best of the therapies for that currently include…
    DBT – http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm
    MBSR – http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/whatMBSR.php
    ACT – https://contextualscience.org/act
    10 StEP – http://pairadocks.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-10-steps-of-emotion-processing.html

  5. the even newer somatic psychotherapies like…
    MBBT – https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/introduction-mind-body-bridging-i-system
    SEPT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somatic_Experiencing
    SMPT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensorimotor_psychotherapy

  6. or standard CBTs, like…
    REBT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_therapy
    Schematherapy – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_Therapy
    Learned Optimism – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism
    Standard CBT – http://www.beckinstitute.org/what-is-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/About-CBT/252/

  7. If you/she/he needs a professional intervention, tell me where you live, and I will get back to you with leads to those services.


#3

This is a terrible situation for you and for him! My son is paranoid sz, 28 years old, diagnosed at age 25. He lives with his dad and sister and I live with my fiancé, just out of town, so I do see my son often. They understand he is sick (he’s good on his meds and hasn’t had another psychotic break . . .yet.) But they haven’t educated themselves on this terrible disease and so do not fully understand. So I am the educator now. I read and read and read both books and online articles, and I am involved in forums. All of these things have helped me. I print a lot of stuff and give it to them. They are starting to really get the full seriousness. Maybe you can do this, I know you probably don’t have time right now and this is a crisis situation. Do you/do they have any plan of action? It’s been so long since he’s had a psychosis, they probably just don’t believe it! Bless you.


#4

Maybe he needs his med’s adjusted. Try to get him back stable on his med’s. It’s very hard to reason with someone in the throes of schizophrenia, so you might try to get him back in the hospital.


#5

When I had a relapse in-between pdocs. No very many people close to me understood. So my partner became their educator. It’s important someone becomes his advocate, if you can’t do it I am sure a government or mental health clinic can have an advocacy program.


#6

The only plan of action I have is getting home as soon as possible. However, he has cut off all communcation with me to the point he changed the phone number or blocked it for all I know. He has our cat too. The parents haven’t said a word to me since this all started other than a flurry of emails for the first two days. I am pretty certain they are denial and more than likely blame me.
All I have is, he talked to me for a few hours, told me he loved me, missed me and wanted me home. I told him that I was coming home as soon as could. And less than a half hour later, back to the gay thing and ceased contact.
I grew up with schizophrenic so this isn’t my first rodeo. But, the lost of contact is…well horrible.


#7

He wasn’t on meds for months and was doing well with his PDoc’s approval. In fact, he had been stable for well over a decade. He was lucid for a few hours and I managed to ask him if had been taking anything. He was on the anti-psychotic again but he was playing with the dosages. Without the support of his family there is little I can do especially when he has ceased contact with me and I don’t want to appear pushy/clingy with his parents.


#8

Are you home now? What’s happening? I hope everything is okay. Not being nosey. Just concerned, and I think that’s part of what this site is about, helping each other. I know it’s been good for me.


#9

Honestly, I think you call his Pdoc immediately and ask him to go and find your partner and speak to him, deal with him. The pdoc has some moral, possibly even legal responsibility for the situation. But that’s not to accuse him/her. I am sure he/she will want to help.

This is no time for buying books. You need practical help. When my son has been psychotic or delusional (and we are often not in the same country), I have called his care team, and they have actually gone to his home to find him and treat him.


#10

I leave for home in two days time. I received an email from his parents that they will not come to fetch me from the airport. Lucky that I have friend that can otherwise it would be a mess.
He has severed all contact and has refused to speak with me. It is highly probable that he won’t in the near future as his parents wanted to know when I would like my things brought to me.
There has been no explainations. No nothing. Just silence.


#11

While I appreciate that it’s probably not the answer you want to hear right now, I hope you will at least file it away for later consideration:

Sometimes we’re just never going to know why some things happen in our lives. And we will just have recognize, acknowledge, accept, own and feel our uncomfortable feelings about these things until we digest, defuse from and discharge them.