Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Please help i need hope


#1

I am so lost. I have been married 5 years and last week my husband was pink slipped into a nearby hospital. He felt people were after him and that he had to die for us to be safe. He wouldnt even eat stuff i cooked. Now its been a week and he seems worse. Saying he is talking to people that are no longer here amongst other things. I dont know how i missed this. I feel horrible. The man i love is in hell and i cant fix this. I wish i could but i know i cant. Please tell me someone has been through this and it gets better. Please. So? Does he hear voices? Are the delusions? What can i do to make this easier on him? Myself? And our young sons? Im completly heartbroken and devastated. Please any advice any help any suggestions any experiences. I need to know. My heart goes out to all who have this and going through the same as me


#2

You’re definitely not alone, and with the right treatment, it can get better.

Hang in there, and read some of the other posts. There are a lot of people going through the same kind of thing.


#3

@Devestated First of all I am so very sorry that you, your husband and children are going through this. My heart goes out to you. I can only speak from my experiences with my son who was formally diagnosed with disorganized schizophrenia when he was 21 and he is 32 now. The learning curve on all of this is a big one. I knew nothing when I started out and I was as devastated and overwhelmed as you must be right now. I turned to NAMI and participated in their free Family to Family classes which educated me on everything about mental illness and it gave me so much insight and understanding into what my son was actually experiencing and what I could do to best help. It also provided a network of support. Over the years the things i have learned that stand out for me is 1/ the importance of having a knowledgable and conscientious psychiatrist that will come up with an aggressive and forward thinking treatment plan for your husband. 2/ to help with the illness (at least as it concerned my son) the LEAST stress in the home environment the better and the LEAST expectations the better (at least until after he is stabilized) 3/ Depending on your children’s ages be as age appropriately honest with them as possible, I always believe truth is healthier road in all things. 4/ and this might be more important than 1-3 Take care of yourself in every way that you can. You will likely be “the rock” that your family leans on during this time and your health and well being and reservoir of strength (physically, mentally and spiritually) is what will ultimately carry you through.

With consistent treatment and the right medicine your husband can get better, I truly believe that. It took a while to find the right medicines for my son -but once we found them my son’s voices and visions and excessive paranoia as well as his inability to comprehend and speak cohesive sentences all got so much better and today he is doing quite well in comparison to how he use to be. I would advise to not argue with your husband about his delusions, try to find a sentence you can say that is non confrontational. You will never ever convince a person with delusions that they are not real, I tried for years and it only hurt me, eventually I started saying, “Wow, I can definitely see how you would think that.” It made him feel believed and yet in my mind I was saying –“you think that because you are delusional”-but he took it more like I supported him…which kept the peace at the time.

Finally it important to keep the psychiatrist informed of any changes that any new prescribed meds have on your husband because he may not be able to tell the psychiatrist what is happening accurately at first, he may need you to advocate for him until he is stable again. Without honest feedback treatment will be more difficult. This is a difficult path to walk but it is do-able and it absolutely can lead to a successful outcome, I can attest to that personally. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. But I love my son and he is worth every effort. I am glad you found this forum, you will find a lot of inspiring, informative stories and support here. Welcome and good luck.


#4

Hello and welcome,

Sometimes in the hospital, people seem to get worse before they start to stabilize. If he has a long-term psychotic disorder like schizophrenia, the hospital and ongoing treatment are his best chances for recovery, so advocate for him to stay in the hospital until he is stable.

There are many causes and origins of psychosis. Unless he has been consistently experiencing symptoms and accompanying debility for six months, they will not diagnose a single episode of psychosis as sz. But they will still treat his symptoms with similar medications and other therapy.

Best to you and your children and husband. Seek comfort and peace where you can. Rest as much as possible while your husband is in the hospital.

You are right that you can’t fix this. We all know you would fix it if you could.

NAMI has a principle of support: We will see the individual first, not the illness. I think this helps.


#5

Devestated, do we understand that feeling and that is exactly how anyone would feel. I’m so sorry this is happening to your young family. I read the responses from other members and I think they each gave excellent advice. Please know that it can and will get better. I agree that the longer he can stay in the hospital the better chance he can come out stable which is what you want. No one wants to see their loved one in the hospital so please let us be your support system.

You will find so much information on this site and learn from members things that help in keeping the home environment safe and peaceful. There are spouses on this site too. I hope his diagnosis is not Sz but if it is you’ll get through it a day at a time. God bless and be kind to yourself.


#6

I usually see mothers posting and commenting on this site and have never written until now. I’m in a similar situation to you. I’ve been married for 5 years and we also have 2 small children. There were a lot of events that happened over the last few years that didn’t make sense to me at the time. He was finally diagnosed about a year ago. He has never been hospitalized but things were very bad for a while before he started his meds. Things have gotten better but he is not who he used to be. It’s extremely hard to watch and exhausting to be the “rock” In your family but you have to do what needs to be done for your family.
I hope the best for your family.


#7

Thank you for jumping in to help another person. There is nothing like talking to someone who goes through similar days, as bizarre as they are. God bless you and your families.


#8

I often ask the same question so following your outreach for answers I pray to find some too. Daddy is having such a bad day and I feel like he’s not going to come back this time from the lapse of years without any meds


#9

I think he will need meds. Did you see the videos on this sight about insight. There is so much good info on this site.


#10

I’m here about my spouse too. It’s so hard, I know! I’m thinking of you.