I need some help here


My cousin is 18, and for the last year he has been a bit (or QUIT) abnormal. He became destructive, unable to look at people in the eyes and talks to himself 24/7.

 I just went back home for vacation and visited my family, and all of them have been telling me about my young cousin, complaining about how "weird" and he is. Refused to believe so, I got a chance to communicate with him personally face to face one time, and found him to be quit normal, yet fiercely smart (maybe due to the fact that he spends all his time on computer reading wikipedia); however, the only problem I could tell was he could not look at me in the eyes when he was talking. So I simply thought it was because he is shy.

 I am studying social work in university, so the first thing I could think of was the influence from his family. Soon I got to know that he is extremely "spoiled." As the only child, he has history of beating, tying up his mate and fighting with his parents. Since his father works for the government, he was able to get whatever he wants since childhood. Until last year, he became so destructive at home that he was kicked out and living in my aunty's home. The reason being was that he broke everything at home, from his iPad to toilet seat. At my aunty's home, he was good for the first month and again became destructive, breaking everything now (Poor toilet seats.)

 To give my aunty a break, I took him with me to the resort (To be honest, worst decision in life). Sometimes he sends a shiver down my spine - He keeps talking to himself, as if there is someone right beside him. When we watched violent movie, he gets excited when he sees blood (The kind of excitement that children express when they see candy), and he cannot look people in the eyes (Not once for the past month)… My aunty has also told me that he shouts at night and punches at the door which I did not see, maybe because he is not used to me. He has no ability to communicate properly with people - he avoids it completely. He has no idea how to take care of himself - he was too spoiled, I think, he doesn't even know how to wash his feet when they smell. 

 This is really a special case for me, so here I am asking for a bit of advise. Currently, he has no friends (literally NONE!), no girlfriend, no hobby, and only loves watching TV and reading wikipedia… I want to work with him to walk out of his pain (he seems emotionally painful) and how can I do it?


Welcome @Sarius

Has your cousin been diagnosed? I’m afraid I don’t see much about his behavior that would indicate psychosis. Spoiled yes but not psychotic.


I would hesitate to tell anyone to write someone else off as a lost cause, but I don’t think you can help your cousin. Maybe you could place him in a group home. You haven’t said anything about him being on medication. If he isn’t on medication maybe that would help him. I think the best you can do for him is to get him medicated and put in a group home.


I think he is depressed and has some parent problems that you might not know about. He isolates himself because he probably feels alone (and feels safer this way.) Sometimes this cant be helped, but if it continues like how you described it and he remains alone, I can guarantee it leads to him hurting himself or others around him. I went through a phase similar when I was 18, I wasn’t spoiled but I had problems. I became anti-social, I couldn’t look people in the eyes, I didn’t want to make friends, I had no desire for a girlfriend, didn’t care for money… nothing mattered. When people looked at me all they saw was anger, anger was all I knew. Deep down I was still that optimistic, caring, fun guy… but it was way down there. But if I had someone to talk to or even acknowledge that my existence wasn’t pointless it would’ve helped a whole lot. You might look at him and get chills but if you keep trying to help him it could probably be the biggest breakthrough of his life.


He definitely has something going on. If he is talking to himself all the time, has no friends, is destructive, he should be checked out. Spoiled or not, he needs help…Good luck!


I think you should seek professional help for your cousin right away. I have a brother who was diagnosed with schizophrenia 2 yrs ago. We waited more than a year to seek professional help and this was a mistake on our part. As a family member, we were in denial, thinking that he might just be depressed or what not since he lost his job before the “weird” things started. I am not an expert and I am not saying that your cousin has Schizo or any mental “disorder” but based on experience going to an expert will really help you in your situation. I wish you all the best, and be strong. Equip yourself with knowledge. I’ve been researching online since we do not have any available centers or support groups here in the Philippines. I really hope that things will be better for your cousin.


I agree that there could be something going on but what you describe doesn’t overtly say ‘schizophrenia’ to me. I mean no friends, no eye contact and talking to ones self could just as easily and even possibly more fittingly place him somewhere on the autistic spectrum. I’m no expert on such things but having known personally a good share of people either currently suffering or on the path of recovery from schizophrenia, he doesn’t sound to me quite like any of those people I’ve known.

I agree that it sounds as if your cousin could benefit from and require some form of mental health treatment. But I’m not convinced from your description that it’s necessarily schizophrenia.