Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I want to leave my unmedicated dad

#1

I was raised by my unmedicated dad and now am in my 20s. The environment is toxic. I recently took a trip out of state to meet my mothers side of the family for the first time and they treated me so nicely. I asked one of my uncles there if I could move in with him for a few months and he said yes. I plan on moving back there in May.

The thing is, I’m worried about my dad. He makes poor decisions with his money. I asked him if he would be ok if I left, and he said yes, he’s an adult and he can make it on his own. I also talked to someone about the situation and they said he’s an adult and there’s nothing I can do; I can’t control him. What do you guys think?

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#2

Hi fleetingrose,

That is great that you are seeing what your options are. 20s is an adult, too, so you are free to move where ever you wish. If you enjoy being treated nicely, don’t feel guilty about that; it is normal!

How old is your dad? Does he have any support or family nearby? If not, is there a program he could join or a network he can get involved with? It is understandable that you will worry about him, but don’t let it hold you back.

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#3

Hi @fleetingrose , I can understand your desire to move out . If your dad feels he will be OK, the only thing you can do is try out the situation, or you will never know, and perhaps never have the same opportunity again to receive help to relocate yourself from your uncle. As an adult with sz, your dad seems to have made it OK so far. Personally, I think it is OK for you to go, if that is what you want to do. Were you supporting him in any way (money, transport, etc.) that will make it especially hard on him if you leave? You might set up ways to continue that support from long distance, if possible.

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#4

Thanks! He’s in his 60s. We do have some family in this state. I’d hope they would come to his aid if he really needed it. I would have to research programs for him.

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#5

Thank you so much! I help him a little financially and with transportation. He wouldn’t have a car if I leave, but our city has decent public transport and a program for disabled people that he could probably join.

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#6

Hello fleetingrose,
It sounds like your dad receives some kind of SDI or financial aide? This is just a suggestion and of course your dad would have to agree to let you help him.
With my mom I set up all her bills on auto pay, it works for her, and I also setup the debit card so it can not be overdrawn.
Take care AnnieNorCal

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#7

Thank you so much! Yes, he gets benefits from the government. I’ll talk to him about autopay!

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#8

Life is a series of small events, in between the larger ones: like your decision to move out. The big change will take adjusting too, and the small ones that you can still do will help him a lot. I wish you luck and happiness (and for your dad as well) in this big change.

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#9

Thank you so much! :heart:

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