We met over a year ago and grew close over that time. She fell for me in the beginning, when I finally realized I loved her, the symptoms had already started. She’s now in the middle of a cyclical shizo storm…it’ll be hours before she replies to my messages but we still find some of the most loving moments I’ve ever experienced together. When I opened up to her, I was unaware of her mental history. Learning someone has schizophrenia (I would’ve assumed) would make me run the other way, but between everything going on, nothing has moved me. She’s on my mind all day everyday, I’ve met plenty of people in my life but I never fell for anyone the way I did for her. We have amazing times then other times Its excruciating when my trust issues take hold when she goes MIA for hours. This is all new for me…I guess I have some questions?
-she goes through paranoid phases, I overpour my support to her and she’s beginning to open up. My question is, how individualized is a schizophrenics love for another? Does she love me because of who I am or is it part of her condition to switch back and forth between a love/paranoid mood with whomever is in that current role?
-do we have a chance? I want to spend my life with her, I know that but where do the issues of fidelity and long term commitment come into play in a long term relationship with a schizophrenic? I’ve fallen so hard for her, I’m scared for the answer.
-she’s very sexually adept…am I to follow her sexual cues or am I taking advantage of her filling an emotional void?
-my method of action has been to overbear her with my love…this is easy because it comes natural to me. I feel like we’re getting closer but there’s doubt in my head just because it’s been such an up and down road throughout the exacerbation of this cycle. She promised she’d never hurt me, can I take her word for it? What’s the healthiest method of making this relationship last? Despite everything, I’m constantly awed by her intelligence and maturity.