Introductions Im new here

Hi all I found this site months ago but just now creating my account .
Im new here but not new to the struggles of MI my brother has diagnosed Schizo -effective disorder bipolar type 1 ,
he’s also suffering ptsd and probably some others that are undiagnosed
Its a hot mess at this point in time .
Im not in the same state as him rn and have not seen him in person in 5yrs now partially due to covid me moving having children and him being incarcerated / hospitals / homeless :unamused:
We do talk over the phone mostly video calls
He’s living with my elderly Father rn it’s not a good situation I feel they are both increasingly becoming unable to care for themselves.
Im going to keep it short for now because Im just on break at work but glad to have found this resource in addition to Nami family support.
Thanks
please forgive my spelling errors

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Hi megmeg, welcome to the forum. There is a lot of valuable information here as well as supportive people. So glad you found us!

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Thank you ,I have been reading the forums and can relate to so many here seems to be a wealth of knowledge.
finding a place that is specific to schizo disorders has been on my list for a long time.
I’ve looked often for groups that are just sibling related but never found one I see there is a lot here though.
Thank you for the space

Your brothers situation makes it harder as he is living with your elder Father. My question is: Are there other family members and/or church or community friends who live closer to them? How can you involve others there?
Our oldest daughter was quite involved in getting the support for her sister (our daughter) from her expenses and time from work. It doesn’t appear you are able to do this in your life. What your brother and Father need is ‘hands on’ support but your struggle is: how to see this happen?
You could check in with NAMI support in their area to see what they suggest.
Also what is your responsibility for your Father? Do you have POA medical, financial, etc. I assume your Mother is not present or involved with his life?
I’m glad you are looking for help in these areas. Please take care of yourself and get the support you need.

Hi I’m glad to have found the space as well.
no I don’t have poa for my Dad I don’t have any financial responsibility or anything like that, I would like to be able to help my Dad in to a more stable less chaotic place to live.
We lost mom to cancer 5yrs ago and its been a state of crisis for my Dad and Brother ever since. my brother did fairly well for the 1st 6 or so months ( death has always been a trigger for him )but then 1 psychotic break after another even leading to incarceration which he was able to stabilize on meds while there and for a while afterwards .
homeless off and on for over a year , In and out off inpatient multiple times. which you can imagine really spiked the ptsd.
while all of this is happening my dad also suffered several more heart events and hospital stays .
I have been in contact with all of the jails, Nami in their state, multiple different inpatient programs , housing and even the homeless encampment , I’ve pleaded with his judge to mandate a medication order now that shes seen him so many times in a short amount of time. In hopes to be able to get him the resources he needed.
I finally had to take that step back for a while and realize no matter how much I worry or put effort into finding a space and resources for him if he doesn’t accept it it useless
I’ve been trying to be there if he calls and put time into supporting myself the best I can .
And am trying to plan a visit to see them both in the near future if nothing else at least to connect .

You sure have done a lot to help your brother and Father. Living in a distance from them makes it a lot harder. I’m glad you are taking care of yourself. I wish you had connections with someone who could help locally. Is this your hometown place where there may be some connections with friends in the community? A good care facility for your Father and brother would be helpful but I’m sure that makes things quite complicated for this to happen. Are you able to hire a lawyer who focuses on mental health issues? NAMI in that area may have a resource for you. I connected with a NAMI resource person in IL when our daughter was living in a northern suburb of Chicago and we lived north of Tucson, AZ. The resource person there was a huge support for me. Hang in there and take one step at a time.

Thank you yes I have tried to be supportive even from a distance but when nothing seems to work out I go through the phase of feeling like Im doing nothing . but then have to remember Im no good to any one without self care
Yes there is family around them where they are NV unfortunately no one that can help any more or at this time really.
I do have Nami resource connection there but just haven’t had success in connecting my dad or brother with them or some of the other resources I have found .
That’s ok Im going to keep searching and finding out more just for myself and may be of help to them at some point.
Shout out to NAMI IL !!!
I love my IL group
Thank you for your kind words

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Another sibling here who also has a frail elder parent.

You have a lot on your plate with your brother and your father. So sorry you are dealing with all of this. Even from afar, it has to be wildly stressful. There is no road map for how to be a sibling of someone with mental illness. It sounds like you are already putting in great effort trying to find a way though it.

“…If nothing else, at least to connect,” you wrote. Actually, that is a mighty big move. I send you my best wishes for that and anything else you’re doing.

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Sounds like you are doing everything you possibly can. You need to take care of your mental and physical health too. I know it’s hard. I’ve been doing it for 23 years for my son with my husband. Sending hugs your way.

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well said ,no road map on how to be a sibling to someone with a mental illness.
There are times Im grateful for the distance its easier to keep boundaries that way ,
and times I wish I was able to be closer .
At this point in time Im really just trying to accept the situation and understand its not possible for me to change it alone they would need to be willing .
and appreciate the moments that I do get to connect.
Thank you

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