Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

So sad today, glad I found this


#1

Today, I’m sad. My girlfriend is an addict, with MPD, and schiztophrenia. There won’t be Christmas in our house as she hates all holidays.
She’s unmedicated and most of the time mean. She has meds she’s supposed to be on, but you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink. We have been together 4 1/2 years, she’s been out of control the last 2 of those.
I don’t trust anyone anymore, to talk to. So this is my only place to talk. Thanks for listening.


#2

I’m sad to hear what you are going through. I can totally relate as we have not had Christmas in our home in 2 years. I volunteer to work every holiday because it is easier to get past them. My son doesn’t want to celebrate holidays anymore and we can’t be with our extended families because his illness makes it too difficult to travel. I can’t offer any advice but I do know just talking about it can help relieve some of the stress and knowing there are others who understand. Take care of yourself.


#3

Welcome to this forum. I am so sorry for what you are experiencing right now. Do you know if there is a NAMI chapter near where you live? NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) This is an organization that is dedicated to support not only the mentally ill -but those who love them with referrals/ resources/and free educational classes that really shed light on the everything about mental illness and care giving or even just co-habitation.

I took their Family to Family class many years ago and it helped me greatly in caring for and dealing with my adult son who is schizophrenic and my sister who is schizoaffective. I also met others like me, dealing with the same things at those classes and some of them are still my friends today.

The other thing that has helped me a lot in dealing with and living with loved ones that are mentally ill is getting counseling for myself so that I have more support and yet another perspective, in addition to this forum and NAMI. I hope my suggestions are somewhat helpful. There are a lot of people here that understand what you are going through. I hope there is a positive path to peace in your future. Best wishes. https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/NAMI-Programs/NAMI-Family-to-Family


#4

This forum is a safe place to talk to people who understand. I’m glad you posted. There really is nothing like being able to vent and get real responses and advice from people who really get it. Caring for loved ones with sz is so hard, and especially it is difficult to deal with the unmedicated.


#5

All holidays, especially Christmas, were tense when I was married to my Sz husband. He wanted to isolate, or keep me home with him, but our families wanted us to come for dinners, parties, exchanging gifts.

He didn’t hate the holidays, but was too paranoid to enjoy himself around her others. And I was always on edge, waiting for him to have some sort of outburst.

Try to find a little time for yourself to enjoy the holidays.

Brokenheart: I love the idea of volunteering over the holidays!


#6

So there was no Christmas in our home. My partner went to fort worth on the Saturday before Christmas and didn’t come home til Christmas day. I spent Christmas alone. Today (Friday after christmas) and she had a scheduled Drs appt. She refused to fill out the new patient forms, and refused to go to said appt. Her rages are getting worse and she’s currently unmedicated. She stated to me yesterday that she’s visualizing what is going on in her head. That scares me. I believe she could get violent at any given moment. I am currently sleeping on the couch because she wakes up in her hateful rages. I’ve discussed with my mother about moving back to colorado.Knowing you need to do something and acting on it are 2 different things. I love my partner…but don’t know how much more I can take.
Update: she went to her appt after all. Now I can sit her by myself and cry.


#7

The holidays seem to either be very very good, or very very bad. I am sorry that yours was bad. I hope you can find some peace.


#8

Hello angelstahr, holidays are hard. I like to keep my expectations very low, there is less and dissapointments. Sorry to hear you are sad, we here in the forum understand.
And I agree with you, if you feel that you are in danger, it is best to remove yourself and call a crisis line or police and talk about intervention or possible involuntary commitment. It’s really the best thing we can do for a loved one. It is very hard to let someone else help, but probably the best thing you can do for your loved one.
AnnieNorCal


#9

Sigh. I understand. Partners are in a unique position as caregivers, and the decision to stay or leave is terribly burdensome. Just remember, you didn’t cause the illness, nor can you force your partner to stay medicated in most situations. You must watch out for your own survival - this illness takes down more family members than just the one who is ill. If you decide to leave, don’t be too hard on yourself. If you decide to stay, you must support yourself well, as if she stays unmedicated, daily life is often a nightmare of repeated psychosis directed at you on a regular basis - so very hard to live with. I was getting to the end of my rope with my adult daughter, after 3 years living with me, but the past police interaction has ended with her on a long term injection that works for her, and has made life pleasant again for both of us (but she doesn’t know it is the medicine that is helping her psychosis, she doesn’t know she is psychotic). Good luck sorting this out for yourself.