Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Is honesty more important or protection from worry?

My mum is a little bit done.
I’ve never seen her so shut down as she has been in the past year
She has spent 24 years of her life I mean years of solid caring for her children in florid psychosis between all 3 daughters

She appears to be calm but will fly off the handle in one way or another if any thing doesn’t go as perfect
She is 76 and has had her mind exploded by caring
I’m 45
Sister died aged 25 after a deterioration of 12 years pschotic and deteriorating
And our youngest sister has spent 7 yrs living with our mum with violent alcoholism and psychosis

Continue below

I had a 7 yr journey with yoga
Which I’ve stopped until now for quite a few years
My mum only saw my negative states
Like feeling very drained after 6 am classes
Or feeling I had to be perfect with it
I did yr 1 intensive first year teacher training
I’d do self practice at home and in hospital for a couple of years
And literally obsessed with my teacher
I put dreads in my hair to be like her
My mum freaks if I go back to classes

Now I’ve started again and I’ve got a good feeling about the
Sanity and spiritual focus
I think the word yoga would make her head explode

Going to bump this because I need some idea
Whether or not eeping my world and spiritual beliefs to myself

I mean my husband now knows and is keeping an eye on me

I once asked her whether she wanted me to keep certain things to myself because she panics so much with even any thing even really trivial makes her panic with worry

Yes I have taken my yoga practice back to serious but this time wanting to keep it mostly positive

I have the idea of a minimum daily practice of yoga at home if not at a class

I’ve been meditating every day which she knows about im doing a course to meditate and be mindful
If she can see I might be able to meditate again maybe yoga is not such a big thing
But to her this might result in complete meltdown

I wish I knew what was best for you, @three.

Given that yoga has been a mixed blessing for you in the past, I do think it’s very good that your husband is aware and can give you feedback if he feels your practice is starting to increase your stress rather than relieve it.

It sounds like you have some understandable concerns about sharing your return to yoga practice with your mother.

It also sounds like keeping this information from her causes you distress.

Does your husband have any thoughts about this or perhaps you have some friends who know you well whose opinions you could solicit to help you sort things out?

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I am hoping to find friends through the people on this course in mindfulness. Only colleagues I won’t know the end result if we keep in touch in March onwards
At the minute we just moved to a new area
I have a new c p n hopefully meeting her next week after a 6 month wait for support in a new town and a therapist who has a lot of yoga in her own life I probably chose her with yoga in mind on some level
Several months ago I had a completely closed frozen attitude
I’m trying to be careful
I don’t know
I think I should progress with caution

That makes sense to me.

Can your therapist help with the honesty vs. protection dilemma? Maybe there are some ways to think about your concerns that will make you feel better about your chosen course of action?

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Thank you for your reply x
You are right I will keep talking and look in more depth at the stress aspect

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