Just when i thought things were getting better


#1

This week has been a rough ride…First off my son is obsessed with the thought of me dying to the point he panics,I had to call my older sister and let him talk to him and she told him if something happened to me that they would come and help him with everything,that was all week,Tonight I told him he has to get used to staying alone because I will not sit here every weekend and watch him sit and smoke doing NOTHING all day…My life has stopped and I feel bad when I do leave… He said I am sorry for all this that has happened to me but it really happened and its a government cover up. So he said he did not want me to go with him to the doc on Tuesday,I told him that he is to get a councilor to help him with his fears and I told him to address the rocking…I am just at my wits end with this …its hard on me all alone trying to keep my sanity


#2

I’m sorry your going through this. I’m sorry he is too.

As far as the rocking, have you heard of this nasty med side effect?

If he is to stay on his meds, he Really really might not be able to do anything about his rocking.

We were told my brother could stop rocking but only if we decided to take him off all meds and watch him crumble.

I know it’s distracting when it happens, and I know it’s sad to see it go on so much, but if you don’t mind me asking… what else about it bothers you?

My brother does rock and he also paces. When he rocks, I see it as a sign that the intensity level of the situation is going over to 11.

Maybe your son’s rocking is a physical sign of internal stress and you could use it as a cue to start a conversation about what is going on with him.

Pacing for my brother means it’s time for a walk. He just as energy to burn… side effect of the meds.

I hope the best for you and your son. I hope healing comes to your home. I’m glad your son is talking to you and being friendly.


#3

well he said its from fear,then he said that in the hospital they added cogent to stop that I guess I missed spelled.its really don’t bother me but I feel bad for him it looks tiring…he has a doc app on Tuesday,…what bothers me the most is I feel he is not trying,he paided 400 to join a gym and now he said he has a fear of crowds he does nothing all day but smoke…Everything I want to do he says og that’s too much work.cooking nope that’s too much work…I think WHAT!!I do all the work on everything I do it all,he does nothing and it really makes me upset I get so tired and he just sits all day rocking and it does get on my nerves sometimes…


#4

Negative symptoms are really hard. No motivation and social anxiety seem to be common. Sometimes my son will sigh like he is about to move the world when he does something I ask him to do. I don’t know, maybe to him it really does feel like that. I nicely tell him things like I love you but you can make your own tea. I will show you how. Did this with tea, coffee and other things. If he said it’s too much work then he went without.

Whether he knows it or not I’m guessing he may need to get rid of some energy. My son may not do a lot of things on his own but if I ask him to help me with taking out the garbage he will do it with me. Might have to ask a couple of times, patience is key, but he will help me.


#5

Yes, per capita we smoke the large majority of the world’s cigarettes, sorry.

But we aren’t doing nothing exactly, like me for instance, i do appear that im doing nothing and i get that but what im actually doing is attempting to stave off the constant invisible suggestions of things like suicide from no one.

See, we are very busy doing what we are doing.

You know what it’s like getting the living shit shocked out of your body while a face made of light appears evilly grinning at you and then you go inside horribly terrified and in pain and all that your family says is “he doesn’t do anything! NOTHING!”

At times people and their lack of communication skills get really maddening, and their lack of organization as well, some of us aren’t even supposed to be living with you people, that much is obvious, thank your leaders for that one.

Now im going to go force more poison into my body and try and get some sleep, i pray that i never wake up.


#6

please wake up…Someone would be saddened if that happened, I love my son and if he thought that I would be crushed,I pray everyday that things will get better and they have come a long way from where he is.But I wish more for him…happiness and friends…hugs to you


#7

Keep hopeful. I am schizophrenic and for the first two and a half years I was completely physcotic. I had many delusions and hallucinations and would just speak gibberish. Then with consistent medication I started to get insight on reality. What really helped me truly recover was to completely understand I was ill, and when I did no delusion effected me. Try to make your son research his illness, rather then trying to verbally tell him he is ill.


#8

Thanks…But I have tried that he is still in denial sometimes he will say something that makes me think he knows then he always says the system did this to him…But I am not giving up…


#9

Anosognosia can affect more then 50% of people diagnosed. It looks like denial but is part of the condition itself. Gaining even partial insight, in my opinion, is a good accomplishment. My son acknowledging that he may have sz has become less and less important.


#10

Hi Joelsgirlkathy,

It sounds like you need some time for yourself. We can burn out as caregivers and it’s a difficult balancing act, however it is very important that as caretakers we also take care of ourselves. Find something you really enjoy doing and do it or if you don’t have any real hobbies think of something you always wanted to learn and do it. I am very big into needlework and also walking. These two things has helped me cope with my daughter’s illness. Without it I think I would totally crumble.

Your son is not lazy. It is his illness and he can’t help that he has no energy. It must be very difficult for him to feel so totally helpless. I understand your frustration and I too can get really upset when my daughter smokes all day long. She has good days and very bad days. Thankfully she has a partner who also has a mental illness so he understands where she is coming from. Thankfully her partner is high functioning and is able to cook and help with the children.

Hang in there and do something you like to do. I too get resentful when my daughter places so many demands on my time. It’s not fair our children are going through this and it’s not fair that we have to be advocates and caregivers.