Not sure how to condense this but I will try.
Son started showing anger, frustration, psychosis about 4 years ago,
It got so bad that in June 2015 he was unwillingly sent to hospital, he refused all treatment, and walked out the hospital 3 weeks later. (early psychosis) diagnosed.
We got so worn down by him , we tried having him at home, we knew he needed help but no he wouldnt accept it nor agree that he did. It got so bad we couldnt live with him and made him move out, he rented a flat (apartment), hubby had to meet him with his stuff, he wouldnt tell us where the flat was (we found out) he used to ring from a call box, wouldnt let us have his mobile number (cell) he would ring on his terms, and come to our house unannounced on his terms. It was torture, we kept saying come with us and get you the help. No he wouldnt.
Things got so bad I arranged a mental health assessment here at our house, he was again offered help in the community, this was march 2016 by then, no he wouldnt accept help so 2 doctors decided he was to be hospitalised again, he refused treatment , then he was told he would be giving an injection if he kept refusing as they could see he needed help. He agreed reluctantly to risperidone, then after 5 months was discharged on a paliperidone depot and a community treatment order.
He compiled bare minimum, its been 6 months now and its being renewed, but he is still so resistant, blaming everyone else saying the dr are fake, its all a conspiracy against him, he isnt sitting around letting them ruin his life, he says to me why am i letting the doctors control my life, why did i open the door to them? (because it was hell) at home with him to the point I used to walk out the house and even contemplated sleeping in the car when he was ranting and wouldnt shut up!!
He says he will leave and not let them control him, I am really tempted to let him come off the CTO, which I know he will then come off the meds, then strip it all back, see how he copes with it all, if he copes ok and we aren’t affected badly then great, so be it, but told him if it goes back to what it was like and we are severely affected again then he cannot live here, He says he will go anyway . Where to I don’t know, he has no friends, and rejects mostly family, he says his dad was never there for him (he has always been there) he says he never has had a role model, his dad and i have always been there, he has a caring uncle, grandfather etc. He still rejects us all , to the point I feel like letting him go, let him get on with it, but i know how it will end up and he will come back to us in the middle of the night etc etc again, scared and paranoid . Who knows maybe he wont?