Why do we have to jump through hoops of FIRE to get the appropriate treatment for our kids?? This is just one of many reasons we mothers and fathers are crying every day! I just don’t know how to ever feel good about anything anymore. If your kids are unhappy …
That is interesting. I think you are right about being depressed is different than being sad. You may want to try the sarcosine. At least for me it helps. But perhaps I was depressed and not sad (?) Do you stay home with your son or do you work? I work and that helps me. My son has yet to come home after his first hospital stay. He will likely come home the end of this week. So my whole world may change again. Here is a photo from my walk last night. I thought you may enjoy.
Irene my 28 year old is the same way, with my son I know partly is the medication. But if he is not on medication it’s hell for him and me. I spend my time crying also , my son has no energy . He sleeps a lot. It breaks my heart, he doesn’t want to leave the house. I just started him on b12 yesterday to see if it gives him some energy.
I am so glad I found this group where I feel I am alone. It’s been quiet but he has no life.
What a beautiful photo! I didn’t know we could share photos duh lol! I live in the country with my fiancé. We’re only a 15 minute drive into town which is where my son lives with his dad (my ex husband).
Waking up and crying sucks. It’s always my worst time. I wake up and think about him and I barely think of anything else. The words paranoid schizophrenia go round and round in my mind constantly. I think back when he was my angel … it’s the worst feeling to see them so alone and nothing going on in their life. Everything I read or see, other young men his age who are doing well … everything says to me that he’s missing everything. Life is just passing by him. My son has to be important! There must be some purpose to this. I’m crying again.
Hi, you are describing how I feel everyday. It is so frustrating that they are missing out on so much in life, even the pleasure of a little sun on your skin. My tears can flow and flow, but then I just have to get up and get on with all the things I have to do to make money and keep life going for me and my son.
Omg I’m on your shoes!! My 22 year old son was diagnosed with schizophrenia 1 year ago!! I’m a single mother and don’t know if I can deal with this!!! It’s so hard. How do I leave and go to work? How do I live my life ?
I’m in the stste of Nj And I don’t know their rules regarding
I wish o had the answers!! I to spend most of my days crying and in fear. My heart breaks to see my son suffer like this. I’m suffering to. There has to be some kind of help out there. I’ve just went back to work after 3 weeks I’ve cryed all the way three and fought back the tears all day! My life is insane because of this. I’m afaid I can’t handle much more
The crying thing … I used to be one of those people who just didn’t cry. I didn’t cry at weddings or even funerals sometimes. I sometimes thought maybe I just didn’t really care or something. And if I did cry on a rare occasion, my eyes and face would literally be ruined all day and into the next, I called them toxic tears because they burned so much! Now, crying is what I do. My eyes stream, my nose runs like a water tap and I don’t use tissues. I keep a roll of paper towels on hand. My poor fiancé :(
I know how you feel. I go around with that lump in my throat and eyes welling up off and on all day some days. And I still have crying jags that can go on for two days! It’s exhausting and I feel fatigued most of the time.
I can only speak for myself. In the beginning of my son’s accident/assualt, I would wake up in anguish, like this cannot be real, it’s not happening! So I completely understand the uncontrollable crying.
I hope you can over come this as each day passes. For me it was a little easier, after awhile, I also have 2 beautiful girls and a husband, very supportive. But if not, maybe you should talk to a professional. I would not want to give you ill advice.
Take care AnnieNorCal
I know the feeling, it is so heartbreaking. I remember when he was my baby and he had all these plans, as he was growing up, now the only trip he makes is to his doctor. My son doesn’t go out, has no friends, like your son, my son’s life is just passing him by. He has no energy, he sleeps most of the time, because of the medication. I want my son back. Crying again.
So many young beautiful people with the same story! My son doesn’t go anywhere either, except to get his shot once a month. They come get him and bring him home afterwards. My heart is broken.
I really don’t know how I can overcome this terrible sadness, this sense of loss, the terrible yearning for my little baby boy that I so lovingly and carefully raised. I know that if he wasn’t ill with schizophrenia, if he had grown up to be a normal young man, with his own family, children, friends, etc., you know, and if he moved across the country and I only saw him rarely, that I could handle. I’m sure I would miss him, but I could handle the empty nest. This is just so different. It’s as if he’s died, but he hasn’t, and another thing that really keeps me constantly wondering and worrying is I don’t know how he FEELS! Does he feel lonely? Is he bored? Depressed? Does he wish he had a girlfriend, or even just a friend? He doesn’t reveal much.
So many of us here understand the situation. I mentioned before, I was at the grocery store the other day, nice young man at the register, it made me really sad to think my son will never be normal, never have a job, never have a family, never be the same. Limbo land.
I live in a small town and I see my son’s peers all over the place. A lot of them are just graduating from college, some are traveling… I see the lost/delayed/missed potential of my son in all of them. It’s a hard one.
I can totally relate to trying to keep him in the house…im in that same boat with my son…ppl can’t handle his bizarre behavior …so they get scared and usually we get kicked out of wherever we are living …
Thank you all for posting, it helps me not to be lonely in this weird world where psychosis has to be accepted and dealt with.
@Lily1 I live in Florida too, and have finally stopped using the Baker Act to try to get my 34 year old (beautiful, isolated, no-life-of-her-own) daughter medicated. She is not a danger to herself or others and she is able to survive with some care from me, so she isn’t “qualified” for assisted out-patient treatment (court ordered medicine). But the sadness is always with me of what she used to be and could have been.
@AnnieNorCal Yes, it is limbo-land, a sort of weird existence knowing that things aren’t fair. I think of your son often, as I wish there were some way this ordeal could end better for him. I hope you are taking good care of yourself.
@daquilamarguerite1 My daughter is the same: she doesn’t reveal much. I wonder how she feels. Maybe she feels nothing. I don’t know.I can only guess that she is happy enough with her life: she talks herself hoarse, seems happy to do so, but doesn’t seek to change anything.