Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

My brother is scaring me


#1

He hasn’t been diagnosed but I am pretty sure this is what he has. He yells things and mumbles to himself constantly. He acts like I have done something to him and " I know what" it is. He has said groups of people are following him and they go in his apartment when isn’t there he even set up recording equipment. He has been at the hospital with crisis counsellors but he says he will get help if he chooses to and because he is in his 40s they let him go. He is coming to my house every day and starting to have angry outbursts. How can I help him? I have kids. He had a fire at his last apartment his ex girlfriend thinks he started. He has no family or friends except me but I try to ask what’s going on and how he is feeling but he gives “round about” answers. I don’t want him to end up in jail. My mother is an alcoholic and says “that’s a shame” about it. I’m very alone and have serious anxiety. I don’t know where to start


#2

Hi @Tdouglas - I think you just started - - by coming here. This is a great forum for support and brainstorming ideas on how you can help your brother. Yes, he definitely has something going on. Most of our loved ones with a mental illness do not think there is anything wrong with them (it’s called lack of insight or anosognosia). Does he live alone?

Different countries and different states have different crisis units that could come check on him. If he is a harm to you or himself they can take him to the hospital. If it’s extreme you can get, for me at least, an emergency mental health hold. The police would take him to the hospital. One book that teaches the LEAP method for getting people help is I Am Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! By Xavier Amador. It will be another place for you to start. Welcome to the forum sorry you are here. Remember to take care of yourself the best you can.


#3

Depending on where you live…jail doesn’t have to be the end…but the beginning. We had our daughter arrested and it was what was necessary to get her where she is today.


#4

Sorry to read about all the chaos you’re dealing with.

Firstly,
If you or your kids aren’t safe, make youselves safe.
If you are worried you might become unsafe, make yourself safe.
Above all else.

To echo @NeverTooLate
Jail isn’t the worst outcome and it might actually be a good thing. Depending upon the size and capability of the local police and institutions, he might actually start getting help if he were to end up there.

But the important thing is diagnosis and treatment.
If it is schizophrenia, only diagnosis from a psychiatrist and treatment in the form of doc visits and therapy will help. Everything else is just distraction and temporary.

If you’re going to help him,
Get his butt in a doctor’s office or don’t do anything for him at all.
Appeasement and enabling can waste years of an otherwise good life.


#5

Hello Tdouglas,
This is just a thought on how I would get someone help.
Call your brothers doctor and inform him of your concerns. Ask the doc office if they can make a random call for an annual physical. Planting the seed first with your brother so it is his idea and maybe he will follow up with the appt. You cannot force him to get help and if he is delusional or paranoid he will not go.
Talk to your brother one on one, very calmly and simple, “I am concerned about your health, when is the last time you had a checkup?”
Getting your brother help requires getting him to a doctor.
Keep it simple and straight. If he is acting threatening to you or your family, or he is a danger to himself or talking about hurting anyone I would call the police or a crisis line and discuss the situation with them.
Doctors, emergency room, judicial or police are some of the ways ro get help for your brother. It’s usually very difficult to get intervention when the person does not want it.
I wish you the best, take care and be careful
AnnieNorCal