Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

My dad is lost in his false reality


#1

Im desperate to talk to someone who understands what im going through. My dad was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2011 after a very scary break with reality. He was hospitalized and has been medicated ever since. There have not been any warning signs or episodes since 2011. My last correspondants with my dad were in May, and then he went silent. My brother and myself have tried to get a hold of him for months and then out of blue after no response from him i received a text message from him telling me that hes not my dad and has no relation to me or my daughter and that he is tired of pretending to be my dad. He then sent a similar message to my brother telling him that he needs to change his last name and that he will be removing his name from our birth certificates and that we need to talk to our mother to have her explain everything to us. I am absolutely beside myself, im almost 30 years old and look identical to my dad… i dont know what to do, he removed me from social media and wont return any of my phone calls. How can i help him if he doesnt think were related and wants nothing to do with me? My brother has a different approach and is completely wiping his hands clean of our dad and says he doesnt care if he has a relationship with him… but its my dad, and i cant give up on him because hes sick.


#2

That is definitely the right perspective. He’s sick and its good to hear you’re understanding of it. It sounds like he’s off his medications and relapsing and the delusions are back.

Is there anyone you know who is close to you (extended family) that can contact him? if not - if you can find him, it would be good to make an extra big effort / push to get him back into treatment.

Where has he been living?

I know its hard, but just be persistent and keep trying different approaches to help him.


#3

He has cut ties with all of our extended family, the only relationships he had left were with my brother and myself. I live out of state and and my brother isnt comfortable showing up at his house because he carries a gun with him at all times due to his paranoia. We dont know what he is capable of. Since we lost contact with him we dont know how paranoid he is, normally we are his safe people and its everyone else in our family who is working with the government or FBI… but it looks like we have fallen into a completely seperate category of not even being related to him. He text me this morning stating that he would like a DNA test and my brother said the only way he would do it is if my dad would be willing to check himself into a hospital after the results came back. Im dealing with a very sick person and my brother who doesnt understand mental illness and is very stubborn and also in protective mode for his family and his children.


#4

Maybe you agree to the DNA test as a way to be in contact face to face with him. Show him sympathy, comfort, care, everything you normally would do. Don’t fight his false beliefs in your relation. Tell him you want to help him and you can’t do that if he doesn’t want to stay in touch with you. If you can’t convince him to go to the hospital on his own and if you are concerned you can call 911 and they can evaluate him for a 5150 to be involuntarily admitted to the hospital. There they can talk to him about treatment.

I sincerely feel your pain. Living with a sz mother my entire life. Good for 10 years and is having her first episode since stabilization. Why I joined this forum.