I don’t know how to live with this very well. I think of Sarah every day. It takes all my energy to stay calm, and calm I must be. I have an anxiety problem resulting from concussion injuries. My brain doesn’t shut down the stress response. If I start crying, it could put me in bed for days, months and maybe even longer. If I don’t cry, I feel guilty. It is hard not to cry as I write this.
My strength comes through faith. I don’t understand how it works, but it does. I don’t know how to survive this any other way. I don’t appear to be as distraught as I have the right to be.
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I’m sorry I haven’t been on this site in quite awhile. I’m SO sorry for what you are living through. I’m sad for Sarah, and for you. When she called her father in December, that seems to indicate she had some momentary breakthrough of realizing she needed help and that she remembers her family. People with SMI have an uncanny way of surviving. Yes, there are no guarantees. I hurt for you. But retain some hope that she will turn up alive. It is so hard not to worry, not to let our minds imagine all the possibilities, but in reality in a situation like this we really DON’T know, and so therefore there are no other facts to indicate an outcome. I had a female cousin with turned up after being missing for 7 years. I didn’t know about it until years later. Unfortunately, by then she had another illness and passed away, but she was in the care of her family by that point. My survival when my son was missing and living out of a car was to do anything I COULD do to be prepared in case he did turn up. And that’s exactly what happened. It still wasn’t easy, but we kept at it, and eventually it worked. He has been med-compliant and in recovery for over 2.5 years and employed part-time for 13 months now.